Do I need to move on?

[ToxOz]

Just joined and wrote down the whole story only for it to not publish. So here is the shortened version.
For background DP and I have been together 4years and I have a DS7 from a previous relationship.
MIL was overly friendly/involved/pushy on first meeting her, throwing tantrums to get her own way and guilt tripping DP and the rest of the family into feeling sorry for her. A month after meeting her, DP tells me when he visits alone to collect mail she has been saying horrible things about me.
DP lets FIL know what has happened and MIL denies it all until she realises we won't back down and then says DP is at fault for telling me. Months go by and we announce our pregnancy and MIL loses it again going as far as punching DP in the stomach while talking about me. Threatening calls and messages and her showing up at our house follow and only stop when DP lets family know we have lost the baby.
DP lets FIL know we no longer want contact with MIL as her behaviour is too much but he would still like to be involved with FIL, FIL rejects this and DP blocks all contact.
A year follows of threats and intimidation and we end up cutting off the whole extended family MIL has sent after us to bully us into seeing her way. DP expresses how good he feels having the weight of MIL out of his life.
Recently FIL has messaged and at my insistence DP responded willing to give FIL another chance as they had a great relationship before.
Slowly other family members apologise and all is well.
FIL eventually brings up MIL and promises she will be on best behaviour if we give her another chance. We agree to try again as we are expecting DS2 in a little over 2 months and it would be nice if things were resolved.
The visit goes well however she does not apologise and is pretending nothing ever happened.
DP is sure she wont apologise as she never does and she believes she has done nothing wrong.
AIBU to not trust her?
AIBU to want to keep her away from DC as the thought of her being involved is making me very uncomfortable.
(My own grandmother undermined my DM with me and my sibling as children and our relationship has never recovered).
DP is letting me decide as he feels MIL is already trying to take back control of our family and is not happy about it.

OP ...omg OP, my MIL did something VERY similar. Behaved like a fucking lunatic and then, when given the chance ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. Went SUPER WEIRD "i am just so HAPPY for you". 1 month later pulled the same sort of mental bullshit by not showing up at our wedding (without telling us).

My advice is this - do NOT trust her. Do NOT involve her or engage with her directly. Keep her massively at arm's length and only ever meet her on YOUR terms. You need to be in the driving seat her, and instruct when or where she slots in. I am 100% sure she will not accept this, and kick off and you will end up NC again (it's better that way). Honestly. Until then, you do not owe her a single fucking thing since her behaviour has been so abhorrent. If she is overbearing you can be direct and say you don't want her advice, thanks. Etc etc. I really, REALLY feel for you.

Don't trust that lunatic as far as you can throw her. She will go right back to her crazy behaviour in no time. Protect your children from her at all costs.

In other words, rum like the wind from her!

I'm just worried she will make me look like the bad guy again to the rest of the family when it's only just been sorted out. She has had all these people fooled for so long it seems I am the first to say no to her. I don't know if there is any hope in waiting for her to change or just keeping our distance.

From your description, I would not hold out any hope that your MIL has made any meaningful change. Nor will she. If the thought of her being involved with your dc is making you very uncomfortable then why would you do it!? If your DP felt immense relief with her out of communication and out of his daily life and unable to physically assault him again, I would take my cue from him. You do not have any obligation to put up with this woman's bullying, hateful, crazy behavior. None!

At some point you and DH have to accept that how the family view you is irrelevant. If they think you're a bad guy, fine. They are probably all pretty brainwashed or afraid of her and therefore will always side with her, so just accept this and try to be ok with it. After a time you will stop caring.

The rest of the family must know what she’s like though?
I think it’s certain that she’ll do it again. Manipulative people can always turn on the charm, but can’t resist trying to get their own way.