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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder if ds should enjoy for now

17 replies

Lucky6266 · 05/05/2018 07:44

Ds has just started a retail job just 12 hours a work but concerned about him missing a time with his mates that he usually has especially on weekends and whether he should just enjoy himself for now. He is 17 and studying at college.

OP posts:
MadameJosephine · 05/05/2018 07:48

12 hours a week is not going to leave him with no time for his mates, I worked through sixth form and uni and still had lots of time to socialise. I also met new friends at work.

The lessons he learns from having a job will be invaluable to him in the future, as will learning to manage his money.

LastOneDancing · 05/05/2018 07:48

I assume he applied for the job & had some sort of interview, which indicates he wants to work & wants an independent income.

fabulousfrumpyfeet · 05/05/2018 07:53

I think 17 is a perfectly fine age to realise that life consists of both work and play! It will be good for him in so many ways and he'll probably make friends.

KateGrey · 05/05/2018 07:54

I think it’s good he has a job. He needs to be prepared for the world and that sometimes you miss out. I think it’s great he’s working. Yes he needs to spend some time enjoying himself but he needs valuable work skills.

Hassled · 05/05/2018 07:56

I agree that 12 hours a week is fine - and the fact he had a job he stuck to will look good on his CV later on and prepare him better for post-college life.

PlausibleSuit · 05/05/2018 08:04

I worked from 16; I did more than 12 hours a week, too. I still had plenty of time with my friends. It's a crucial time in life for learning about the art of balancing freedom and responsibility.

My personal view is also that it sets a poor precedent if a person is led to believe that prioritising time with friends overrides things like earning one's own money and holding down a job.

Original poster
Lucky6266 · 05/05/2018 08:12

I haven't said anything to let him know my feeling.
I am really pleased for him and have congratulated him etc

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 05/05/2018 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

19lottie82 · 05/05/2018 08:14

It’s 12 hours a week! And how can he enjoy himself with his friends if he has no cash? Unless you’re just going to provide handouts and not want him to build any life skills independence/ responsibility / budgeting?

In the kindest way possible OP, you’re being ridiculous Smile

overnightangel · 05/05/2018 08:15

What @ PlausibleSuit said
12 hours isn’t a great deal

disappearingninepatch · 05/05/2018 08:20

My DS is studying in college but he's not there all day, every day. He has plenty of time to work. Now to persuade him!

dancinfeet · 05/05/2018 08:23

My daughter who is in sixth form works 12 hours a week - a full day Saturday, and a Wed evening. She still has plenty of time to get her study / coursework done and see her friends

Carriecakes80 · 05/05/2018 08:29

My middle child is 16 and has been working 3 hours a day since december, he loves it. A nice bit of money to play with which means when he goes to see his mates, he can pay for himself. He's just bought himself a top of the range laptop...I'm a bit jealous tbh lol.

I wish his 19 yr old brother who is at college would go find some work! He's so fussy he wants certain hours and thats not always feasible, sigh. But I wouldn't worry at all, be pleased he wants to go out and earn a crust! :-)

ImPreCis · 05/05/2018 08:43

I’m surprised that your question isn’t ‘I’m concerned about him having enough time to concentrate on his college work’.
Believe me, they will always find time to socialise!

At the end of all this (college, university maybe) he is going to need to get a job. In fact if he is like my DD who’s uni funding only paid for half of her rent he may well need a job just to get through uni. I’ve seen sufficiently posts on Facebook to know that she has had a good time at uni, and she is on track for a First. [proud Mum boast]

Having experience of proper work, done over a substantial period and a reference to confirm that, will make getting a full time role much easier.

TheHonSaucyJane · 05/05/2018 09:01

God no, good for him! The rest of his mates may well get jobs too.

My DF made me work at his bank on Saturdays and in school holidays from being 15 - I could either be rich beyond my wildest dreams at £4 an hour in the mid 1990's or have no pocket money at all! - and it was so good for me. In particular that moment when you just want to lie in, but you realise you HAVE to get up because people are depending on you is a big growing-up moment.

Hope he enjoys the job and having some cash to spend!

RedHelenB · 05/05/2018 09:20

My Dd made friends at work when he was 17. They often wenr to the pub after work. It did her good to realise how much you had to work to afford a night out and stood her in good stead for being away at uni.

Robin233 · 05/05/2018 09:50

Good on him :)
My lad worked 2/3 evenings before starting uni.
It's good grounding for adult life. Still had plenty of time for study and socialising.

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