AIBU to ignore wishes of best man?

[harrypotternerd]

Hi,
so my fiance and I are getting married next year. We mentioned to the best man in passing that we were looking at photographers and he told us of this person he knows, he told us she was just starting out with her photography business but she was really good. He gave us hr facebook page and I liked the photos so sent a message to the photographer.

The photographer costs almost double the amount of one of the other ones we were looking at, so we have decided to go with the other person because of our budget.

Best Man is now offended and told us we should have gone with his friend and he was doing us a favour by being in our wedding so we should be doing him a favour.
who is being unreasonable?

He is being unreasonable- recommending you a photographer that is inexperienced and charges double what others charge?

I would say though don’t go with the cheapest you can find. Personal recommendation is key here. I know a few people who have bitterly regretted their choice of photographers.

Yanbu. He sounds horrible. I’d want rid of him and it sounds like your DFiancé does too. Who’d blame him?

Bin him! He sounds awful. Not just as a best man but as a friend as well.

Re photographers, we went with the cheapest one we liked iyswim. I found the photographs a bit of a chore on the day tbh, so maybe a more expensive one would have been better that way? Don’t know. The pictures are lovely though.

YANBU, as if you didn't already know!
This guy seems to think it's HIS wedding. You pick your own photographer, what with it being your wedding, and because you're paying, and as for trying to veto the candle lighting? Not sure why you didn't sack him on the spot.

Sack the best man and get a new one

Replace him.

Of course he is. Jesus

This is not the best man for the job, replace him.

You need to release him from this "favour" he is doing. I've never heard of a best man getting closely involved in wedding planning. Ours regarded it as his function to sort out the stag do, get DH to the church, remember the rings, and make a speech at the reception - nothing more. Quite right, too.

If he’s so desperate for his friend to be the photographer he’ll be happy to pay the difference in cost then won’t he?

Otherwise he can wind his neck in. He’s not “doing you a favour” by being best man, it’s not anything spectacular.

Absolutely get rid of him.

Does he have a crush on your DH?

update fr you. Fiance spoke to him and said his behaviour was totally unacceptable and he is no longer part of the wedding and will not be getting an invite. Luckily we just found out another of fiance's close friends, who has been living in china the past 5 years, is moving back here later this year so fiance is asking him.

Was the Chinafriend invited before all this blew up?

Sounds like a dick. I suggest saying theres been a balls up and your husband has to have another best man /as well....... that one can do the speeches and not this man..... I can't believe he said lighting a candle to remember your parents would be depressing. I think it would be absolutely lovely, and a beautiful thing to honour them, rightly so. Weddings are full of emotions, and that's what makes them so special.

Wow!

yes china friend was invited from beginning but at the time he did not know if he would be back from china or not. now he knows.

Oh my. What crazy behaviour from ex-BM, over a photographer

Yay that got resolved quickly. I had bridesmaidzilla and she managed to really spoil my hen do and wedding. I had misgivings early on and didn't sack her which was such a mistake. We are not friends now for which I am glad.

Utterly ridiculous! Stupid man, he should be honoured to have been asked to be best man!

Is he by any chance desperate to shag Photography Girl?