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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbors and Cat Poo

83 replies

CurtainstoCurtains · 04/05/2018 23:23

Yes it’s of these ones.. but interesting backstory.

We have very lovely neighbors, Really friendly but I have always in the back of my mind thought they might be a little ott.. (will be the type to do you a favour without you asking, then make a fuss about doing so, like buying you a bottle of expensive wine?)

Neighbors loved our cat when we first moved in. We have a large unusual bread of cat that we rehomed, you wouldn’t usually see one outdoors as it’s it’s an indoor breed normally, but our cat before we rehomed spent most of its time outdoors, and now continues to do so.

There garden is mainly gravel and our boundaries are privet hedges.. so you can imagine that keeping our cat in our garden is tough and how our cat uses their garden as a giant Litter box.

I was more than apologetic when we moved in about the cat, and offered to come round and clean their garden once a week. They said they loved the cat, didn’t mind about the poop and welcomed his visits. They even bought the same bread of cat, but theirs is indoors only. (I have actually overheard them feeding my cat and treating it as their own, including their extended family members)

Fast forward they now have a toddler and are fed up of the cat shit in their garden. They have asked if I can block all holes in my privets so the cat can’t get in..

I have a massive cold, was wearing clothes I wish no one would see me dead in when they asked me so agreed..

Now thinking that if they don’t want cats I their garden they should be the ones to do so..

AIBU to just ignore there request?

OP posts:
ijustwannadance · 04/05/2018 23:28

It's your cat. You need to sort it.

ScattyCharly · 04/05/2018 23:29

Your cat shits in their garden. I think you should feel responsible for that really.

snufflehuff · 04/05/2018 23:30

It could just as easily be fox poo. Who are they going to hold responsible for that?

Original poster
CurtainstoCurtains · 04/05/2018 23:32

See dance normally I would agree.

And I did offer to clean their garden once a week, they refused and have been actually encouraging my cat to visit them (feeding and petting him)

So now I am like, ?!?!?

OP posts:
WhatShallIDoWithMyself · 04/05/2018 23:33

I absolutely hate cats shitting in my garden. However, how will blocking holes in your privets stop it? My 6ft fences have never stopped cats so I'm sure it will find a way in, especially as it considers it part of the boundary.

Myotherusernameisbest · 04/05/2018 23:33

Trouble with cats is they tend to go where they want to go. However you are going to have to make a visible effort to stop it going into their garden. It's your cat, therefore your problem.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 04/05/2018 23:34

Yes. YABU.

Irrespective of how tolerant they were of your cat previously, if they don't want him/her to shit on their garden, the onus is on you. People change when they have kids- what was once ok is no longer acceptable. I would imagine they don't want their toddler picking up kitty poo and putting it in his mouth/on his face.

Having said that, if your cat is used to going on their property, he will follow the smell. Then poop.

Respect their request. (from the owner of a beautiful British Blue whose neighbours hated him so much the buggers poisoned him with antifreeze).

Original poster
CurtainstoCurtains · 04/05/2018 23:35

Well this is what I mean. THEY have encouraged my cat into their garden.

Their whole family (they have a big dinner most Friday nights 8-15 people at least) know my cats name and pet him etc.

I offered to clean their garden weekly. They refused.

It’s only now ta a problem..

OP posts:
Original poster
CurtainstoCurtains · 04/05/2018 23:41

Bananas that’s really sad, and horrible. we have a red British sort hair. They are lovely intelligent cats. I suspect mine will be more than upset if I chicken wire the garden and he can’t get out..

OP posts:
ijustwannadance · 04/05/2018 23:46

It doesn't matter if they encourage your cat, they have a toddler who they don't want to be pkaying in a garden full of shit.

My new neighbours have 3 bloody cats which now all shit in my garden. It's fucking gross. They don't give a shit and I will happily put it back over the wall into their garden. I will also be buying a supersoaker to leave by the door to spray the little fuckers. They can find somewhere else to shit.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 04/05/2018 23:48

If they have been encouraging your cat to come over, then I think you should say to them 'I will of course block off the holes in the hedge, but please do not feed Mr Kitty as he will see this as encouragement'.

Block the hedge holes and get Mr Kitty a new litter box to encourage him to poop in that.

I wasn't being sarky when I said that people change when they have kids- my youngest got into a bag of coal as a toddler, also ate a load of sand at the beach which took about two weeks to leave the system. Things that you never thought that anyone would put in their mouth- well, toddlers do. I wouldnt want them eating cat poo.

If you do all that they have asked and you have offered then that is fair enough. You can do no more than that. Poor Mr Kitty being excluded from Friday night dinners!!

sugaraddedlater · 04/05/2018 23:48

Chicken wire is a godsend for keeping the buggers out! I spent so much money trying to keep them out of my garden! Luckily now they don't shit in my garden!

Original poster
CurtainstoCurtains · 04/05/2018 23:49

Dance I would agree with you if your neighbors hadn’t been reasonable with you and offered to clean your garden...

And if you was feeding the cat/s and treating then as your own, then surely you have encouraged the repeat visits...

OP posts:
Itsear · 04/05/2018 23:51

How do they know it is your cat? Don’t know about your neighbourhood but there must be 40 cats in ours and the adjacent street, tell her to do one and then ignore.

echt · 04/05/2018 23:53

Actually it does matter that they encouraged the cat. It's now set in its ways and it's their fault. Go back to them, say you want a way forward but they need to acknowledge what they have done to create the situation. Asked them are they going to stop feeding your cat.Tackle the fence blocking together. Give them a supersoaker and a hard stare.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 04/05/2018 23:53

@Curtains they killed him with antifreeze and I still cry every time I think of him. Never hurt anyone, was a massive baby who was terrified of spiders and the dark and I will never forgive the bastards for doing it.

He pooped on their lawn once or twice and I made him an indoor cat then. Escaped through a window and drank antifreeze.

hmcAsWas · 04/05/2018 23:53

I don't think you are getting the message here op. Things have changed. Do as they request - no ifs and no buts. I agree with ijustwannadance

Sorry to hear about what happened to you cat Bananas - that's awful.

Original poster
CurtainstoCurtains · 04/05/2018 23:54

Thanks Bananas.

I actually think me kitty will be quite sad, I did subtly point out that chicken wire might kill the hedges as well.

The land registry doesn’t actually state who owns what boundaries (Terrace house that is over 200 year old!)

So the lady thing I want is a boundary wars...

OP posts:
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 04/05/2018 23:54

Cats go after smell, its a territory thing.

hmcAsWas · 04/05/2018 23:55

I don't suppose that you could prove it Bananas? I expect they got away with it? Sad

Juiceylucy09 · 04/05/2018 23:56

Yabvu. They must be very needy if they over indulge with gifts and happily clean up when the neighbours cat poos in their garden.

They have had enough, you must cat proof your garden and they need to stop feeding your cat.

I squirt my neighbours 3 cats if they come in my garden, My DS picked up their cat poo when he was a toddler.

Original poster
CurtainstoCurtains · 04/05/2018 23:56

Oh bananas I just read your last post that’s horrible. Really horrific.

I hope you called the police or RSPCA xx

OP posts:
Missnearlyvintage · 04/05/2018 23:59

It's tricky, because as others said, cats tend to go where they please.

At the same time though, one of our cats especially decided to poo all over our back garden grass and anywhere he pleased really, (he was found at the side of the road when he was tiny, and didn't really know he was a cat or what he was supposed to do...), and I have found it vexing when my DCs just wanted to enjoy the garden, so I have sympathy for your neighbours.

I have now trained him to go in large planters filled with lots of old compost around the side of the house - I clear them out like I would a litter tray. This has been a suitable compromise, so it must be a nice place for him to use as a toilet over the back yard grass?

To appease them, could you make a similar arrangement? somewhere that your cat would like to use more than their garden to go to the toilet?

Original poster
CurtainstoCurtains · 05/05/2018 00:06

He is knocking on now, so I don’t think his toilet habits will be changeable.

Thanks for all the replies.

I of course will do my best to block all holes in the privets, if he gets out because he has a burning desire to go next door after 2-3 years encouragement then I think that’s their problem and of they don’t want ANY cats in the garden (any foxes etc) they should animsl proof their garden too.

Poor mr Kitty. He is going to feel very rejected 🙈

OP posts:
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 05/05/2018 00:06

Couldn't prove it. I saw the NDN trying to kick poor Nigel several times. Vet confirmed it was antifreeze poisoning as and only one person hated him that much. Big fat arsed git (NDN not Nigel. Nigel was very well toned for a shorthair).

I honestly think that you should speak to the neighbours and say that you will do everything you can to stop this (as in getting him a new cat litter tray) but that he is a cat and they please stop feeding him and petting him as he then thinks its okay to come onto their land.

Agree with the supersoaker idea, or even an old fairy washing up bottle filled with water to deter.

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