Smoker by bedroom window - AIBU

[insideoutsider]

Good evening all!

The DCs and I are spending the bank holiday weekend with my cousin and her family. They live in a lovely 4 bedroom apartment in a really nice area, quiet neighbours (they smile hello when the bump into each other), neat communal gardens / park area, generally nice place to live. They all have nice balconies.

My cousin's next door neighbour are a 40-something year old couple and their 4yr old son. The man smokes so (I guess to avoid polluting his home) he goes to their balcony to have a cigarette first thing in the morning, several times during day and last thing at night (about 10pm).

That's fine until it's warm and summer arrives and it's window-open season. Cousin's 6-yr old son's bedroom is the one right next to their balcony so when the windows are open, cigarette smoke goes into his bedroom.

I went to help tuck him in this evening and I just could not believe the smell of smoke. I say she should have a word with her neighbours, even just to let them know that their cigarette smoke is getting into the kid's bedroom window and ask what they could do about it. My cousin says she doesn't want any issues, worried they may turn into nightmare neighbours, the guy is smoking in his own balcony blah blah.The question I don't have an answer to is where the man should do his smoking.

There is no option of the kids moving rooms because the rooms are perfect sizes for her kids. The other 2 rooms are large but oddly positioned with no view (corridor facing) - 1 is cousin's room, the other is the guest room. Those 2 rooms are air conditioned. She owns her flat and doesn't plan on moving.

AIBU that she should have a word with the neighbours or is she for not doing so? If I'm being unreasonable, how would you deal with this? Thanks!

I find it hard to believe you can smell your neighbours smoke

Whuh?! Windows open, neighbours out on the balcony - yep,they're definitely going to have smoke wafting through into the bedroom and making it stink.
Do you smoke yourself to come out with such a comment?As I find smokers are completely oblivious to how much they or indeed the smoke actually smells to non smokers.

www.amazon.com/Allergy-Asthma-Technology-Window-Filter/dp/B008JGXZGI?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Buy him a window filter.

Also buy the neighbor a fan for the balcony. You would be amazed at how lovely they are at keeping off bugs and smoke.

When we lived in a flat the downstairs neighbours smoked and their balcony was underneath DS's room. There was nowhere else for them to go to smoke, it was a bit of a trek to leave the building and that was their only balcony. I just kept the window shut and the bedroom door open and let the air circulate from inside the flat. Opening other windows in the flat used to get a bit of a breeze going so it worked well.

Mind you, just before we moved out DS peed out the window onto the downstairs neighbour. I thought he was just being naughty, but perhaps it was revenge for the smoking.

Depending on how it's laid out, could he shut the window from the outside? Maybe if you asked nicely he would close it before he starts smoking.

Huge sympathy. We have the same thing from our neighbours. But no other room options in the house. Sad thing is they have a big garden but can't be bothered to move away from their door. I hear their hacking coughs at night and hope it leads them to quit. Smell comes in even when the windows are shut 🤢

warm weather, Windows opened in the evening, 2 rooms with air conditioning

I take it your cousin doesn't live in the UK

Thanks all...
Like I said, we KNOW the neighbours have no where else to smoke - that's why this is an issue.

Amal, yes we are in the UK and this became a problem when we've had the recent hot weather. There's also summer coming up so this will continue.

Rentmyhouse, The neighbour will have to stretch a lot (with the risk of falling out!) and probably can't reach. That would have been great.

@insideoutsider

If I may give you a tip. I've found that mosquito nets in the window limit the smells that come into the home. They don't block them completely but I've found that since we have them I don't smell the smoke coming from the downstairs apartment. You can normally get them from Amazon just for one window . It'd be worth a try?

@Amalfimamma
Thanks, I'll suggest that - it's probably bee and wasp season too!

You can also buy pollen screens, similar to bug screens but finer mesh, so it might be better at blocking smoke.

Just leave it OP. Your cousin is an adult that can think for herself. She doesn't want to say anything so that should be the end of it.

If he really has nowhere else to smoke there's not a lot he can do surely?

Northernparent
I find it hard to believe you can smell your neighbours smoke

Really? Are you a smoker? Cause it stinks and can easy travel a few feet into another room.