To want to find a good put down for this behaviour?

[TrainsandDiggers]

So my MIL CONSTANTLY picks me up on the way I say and pronounce things. I have a slightly different accent to hers (one that she considers inferior to hers), but she openly laughs at me sometimes and keeps repeating how I have said something, encouraging others to join in. At other times she will correct me mid-sentence (e.g. Me: “I’ll just have a glass of lemonade”, MIL: “glaarss”). Other times she will correct me in ways that I think she’s actually wrong (e.g. “steer-roid” instead of “steroid”). And sometimes she pretends she literally cannot understand what I’m saying (e.g. “Santa?? Santa?? ...Oh! You mean Father Christmas!”) Grrr!!

I find it infuriating, rude and patronising, but it always takes me aback in the moment so I just laugh at myself, apologise or correct myself to her way of saying things.

Any better comebacks MNetters?!

Ltb

Mumsnet classic - ‘sorry, did you mean to be so rude?’

Love the above - classic.
I'm currently using a very pointed and clear "get in the bin"

"Wow, did you just try to correct how I talk? How curious. I believe it's considered very common to do that, you know".

"If you seriously think you're Henry fucking Higgins you need to go and give your head a little wobble, love".

"Fuck off, you rude bitch".

"fuck off"

puntastic

'gosh, I'm surprised someone of your age doesn't know who santa is' or 'hasn't realised that people from different areas pronounce things differently'

'oh mil' tinkly laugh 'isn't it great that not everyone has exactly the same accent. Wouldn't life be dull if we all sounded like you?'

Do it back to her. "Did you say 'steeroid'?! How funny

Oh dear, is that the batteries in your hearing aid gone again?

I think a totally humourous death stare would do the trick. Every time you laugh it off it kind of makes it ok for her to do it again, she needs to be made to feel as uncomfortable about it as she is making you feel

If it were me I would just up the accent or deliberately mispronounce words...simple and common words, continuously.

Every time she corrects you say a swear word. Like bollocks or bullshit.

So

You: “i’ll just get a glass of water”
Her: “glarss”
You: yes, bullshit, that’s what I said.
And then completely ignore any reaction as if you never said anything.

Keep doing it. Every time. She will eventually ask “why do you keep saying bullshit?” And you can say “I was just saying what you said.”

Omg! 😂 Some of these are brilliant! I obviously can’t tell my MIL to fuck off, but I am sat here imagining what it would be like! ..Feeling strangely better! Ha! Ha!

Or everytime she corrects you pretend you have no idea what she just said. As if she just made up a word. Pretend to be baffled and laugh and as her to keep repeating it.

puntastic has it, the first yin will do nicely for first attack, but maybe not how curious... thats a bit too nice for my liking. My favourite would be number 3. Infact fuck it, next time just start singing smack my bitch up

My MIL communicates in all kinds of passive aggressive ways, a common example is - we are vegetarian and she hates it - so she willrepeatedly ask nonchalantly 'do you fancy a little...sausage?' It really pisses me off but my husband has developed a great comeback routine where he just calls her out and 'translates' her passiveness, says things like 'what she means dear is that we should stop being such total WEIRDOS and just eat a bit of meat like everyone normal'. She gets all stuttery and I feel much better.

How unconscionably rude of her.

I like the repeating suggested by Woman:

MIL: It's steeroids.
You: Pardon?
MIL: Steeroids
You: I'm not getting it. Could you say it again?
MIL: It's pronounced steeroids.
You: Hmmmm, still not getting it.
MIL: Steeroids.
You: ( very slowly) Steeroids?
MIL. That's it!!
You: Nah. Steroids.

Every time she does it, whisper "she's doing it again". If she asks who you're talking to, deny having said anything. Occasionally, instead of whispering it, turn away from her (or leave the room) and shout it. Then return and act like nothing happened.

Do the same back to her and tell her you don’t want your kids to get confused so you’d rather she learnt to speak proper, like!

I learned this truly wonderful phrase on Mumsnet. It's MADE for situations like this.

MIL: Blah blah insult insult.
You: Did you mean to be so rude? laugh

Mil, be a dear and kindly go and shove your head up your arrrssseee.

Seriously though, I'd go with a withering look and an abrupt, loud change of subject to drown her rudeness out. Hasn't your DH said anything to stick up for you?

Definitely Did you mean to be so rude?

“Every time she does it, whisper "she's doing it again". If she asks who you're talking to, deny having said anything. Occasionally, instead of whispering it, turn away from her (or leave the room) and shout it. Then return and act like nothing happened.”

Why? I don’t get it. Seems a bizarre thing to do.
OP don’t do this.

I’d actually just tell her. “I don’t like the way you keep correcting me. I find it patronising. No one else does that to me...only you. Can you not, thanks.”

I would not react when she does it and gradually start during your conversations with her picking a random word she says, laugh at how she pronounces it and "correct her"

Eventually she will either get upset or annoyed, and you can tell her you did it to give her a taste of what she was doing to you and how she was making you feel...

Don't ever feel pressured to change how you speak just because of mil...remember your dh loved you enough to marry you just as you are with your own accent...

I’m terribly well bred but heard that Alzheimer’s is staved off by keeping the mind sharp. We don’t want you in a home too soon do we?

“How crass”

“Did you mean to be so rude?”

“Do you do that to everyone?”

“There’s a mum at playgroup I tried to help with her speech and now they think I’m a really rude bitch. Weird”

Or how about like a toddler? “A-A no thank you”