I would really appreciate an objective perspective, please. OH is a SAHP. We have one DD, aged 7, obviously full time at school. My OH doesn’t do any paid work so my income is the household income. Additionally, we have a cleaner that comes 16 hours a week. The day to day to jobs are shared about 50/50 except for the school run and after school homework help etc as I’m at work.
I’ve been travelling for work for the last 10 days. This included a weekend away. I appreciate it can be nice to have time for yourself and I did get to explore a foreign city (on my own though, which can be a bit lonely).
I flew home on Wednesday night, long haul. I got home around 10am, had a shower and had to go straight into the office. I worked late, went for a quick drink with a colleague that was visiting from out of town. On the way home, I got around 5 increasingly irate messages asking where I was as OH wanted to go out. When I got home, she was straight out the door, with barely a word (we had spoken in the morning when I dropped my bag home though). She was out late and then spent most of the morning in bed. I got up with DD, I was knackered with jet lag, and did breakfast, homework, playtime. There was nothing in the fridge, not even milk or bread so I had to go and do a big supermarket shop. She has access to our joint accounts and there’s money available.
Then after lunch, which she ate on her own, she went out to a boat party. I asked if DD and I were invited but the answer was no (we’re in the Middle East so it’s the weekend today). I know, based on past form, that she’ll spend all day in bed tomorrow making an appearance around dinner time.
Is it fair that she wants this time to herself after I’ve been away? I feel bad for DD that we don’t do much as a family. This isn’t a one off, either. Most weekends she’ll go out with friends in the morning, exercise, brunch, come home and spend the rest of the afternoon in bed. She also spends her birthdays and NYE with friends, not us, and wanted to be with friends, last Xmas This Xmas she is doing her own thing.
So AIBU or am I a mug?