Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

with regard to pfb and sleeping?

21 replies

JoanFrenulum · 04/05/2018 09:25

DD, nearly 5 months, has never liked being in her cot. She's preferred to sleep next to me since she was born. (The hospital nurses suggested safer ways of arranging that, and all the websites about safe cosleeping, etc etc, yes I know it's not ideally safe, but neither is a mummy who's suicidal from sleep deprivation.)

I got her into a cot at about 3.5 months and she slept for two three-hour stretches, plus a bunch of shorter stretches, per night.

Then at 4.5 months she started waking every 45 minutes. Ho hum, 4-month sleep regression, I thought, and took her back into bed with me because sleep deprivation was doing bad things to my mental health.

And in bed with me she sleeps 5 hours, and then 3 hours and then 2 and 2, punctuated with feeds, and it's marvellous. Comparatively.

So I tried to transition her back into the cot, and she wakes up every 45 minutes. She goes back to sleep with shush-pat and feeds if shush-pat doesn't work. She's got a swaddle, she's got a knitted sleep sack, I don't think she's too hot, maybe she's too cold? maybe she's just pissed off? am I just being unreasonable thinking she could replicate this 5-hour thing in the cot? Should I stick it out? I gave it 3 nights and then caved because lack of sleep was doing bad things to my head again. Aaarrggghhh. Halp plz...

OP posts:
PleaseAndThanks · 04/05/2018 09:29

I don’t think they should still be swaddled at that age...?

Have you considered a sleepyhead or similar? Not everyone’s cup of tea but might provide a sense of closeness which your baby clearly likes. And do you have a bedside cot?

My dd had a massive sleep regression from 5 months and we’re now at 6.5 months and I’ve done controlled crying which has literally changed my life. But your baby is still definitely too young for that.

Whatever you decide, it will get better with time Flowers

newbowls · 04/05/2018 09:29

What has prompted you to get her back in cot if cosleeping was working?

Original poster
JoanFrenulum · 04/05/2018 09:46

Oh--she had an arms-in swaddle until she learned to roll onto her side, and now it's an arms-out sleepsack thingie but consistency and all that. Yes, she's too old for a total swaddle now. Sorry, should have said.

I want her in the cot because any minute now she'll be mobile enough to fall out of the bed, and it's hard to arrange the room with the side of the bed against the wall.

One can't buy bedside cots here (Canada, recently ruled unsafe) and I haven't the energy to make one or the money to import one.

OP posts:
Handsfull13 · 04/05/2018 10:11

You can try a pool noodle or pregnancy pillow under the bed sheet as safely so she won't roll off the bed.

You can also try controlled crying to get her to self settle better but that will be tough on you for a few nights at least.

I found once my boys were on solids the sleep go a lot easier so if you do whatever's best for you once you start weaning you might find an improvement.

FittonTower · 04/05/2018 10:16

I had 2 non sleepers and i did whatever meant we had the most sleep, partucually once i was back at work. I always tried to put them to bed in their own bed, so when they did learn to sleep they stayed in their own bed, but once it was time for me to go to bed they tended to end up in my bed. I worried about it and stressed about it and then I just started doing what helped them sleep and me sleep and often that was my bed.
They're 4 and 6 now and sleep quite happily in their own beds. Do what works (safetly obv!) and don't worry.

3stonedown · 04/05/2018 10:21

I'd get a bed guard on her side and continue to co-sleep for a couple more months then try it again.

Original poster
JoanFrenulum · 04/05/2018 12:23

Sounds like the cot idea is U if it isn't working, then, and carry on cosleepingtill she's a bit older. Ok. We can do this. I hope. Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
runsmidgeOMG · 04/05/2018 13:57

We co-slept until little one was 2 :) it was only then that she'd respond to a bedtime routine. You know when the times right for your child. Some babies adapt really quickly and others need the comfort for a little longer! You're doing great ! Thanks

BasilTheCat · 04/05/2018 20:03

We coslept from mid way through the night until he stopped sleeping even with us - did CC at 8m and he slept through ever since (only cried for 10 min the first night then just closes eyes when gets into cot!)

SnowOnTheSeine · 04/05/2018 20:11

One of my biggest regrets is not co-sleeping with DS1 but battling on with getting up at least 8 times a night for 2 years (not exaggerating - he had severe reflux). I occasionally co-slept for a night or 2 then struggled on with the cot.

DS2 I co-slept from a few weeks old and DH slept in DS1's room (he still woke frequently) until he was 3.

I seriously come down on the side of do whatever you need to get sleep!

DiddimusStench · 04/05/2018 20:12

Don’t fix what isn’t broken. Get a bed guard.

We can do this. I hope.

You certainly can, you already are Flowers

TittyGolightly · 04/05/2018 20:12

You can also try controlled crying to get her to self settle better but that will be tough on you for a few nights at least.

At 4 months? Angry

GummyGoddess · 04/05/2018 20:12

We had wakings every 45 minutes for months on end. Eventually solved with a sleepyhead contraption with no crying or fussing. Took from 7-9ish months to transition him from arms to cot for day naps too. Now he giggles as we put him down for a nap and sleeps for 2-3 hours at 18 months.

Rarotonga · 04/05/2018 20:18

Co-sleeping is the only thing my 14 month old will accept! He is very mobile and active in the day but stays put at night. We have a foam bed rail under the sheets. We also have a cot bed right up against the bed for extra peace of mind, but it's not really necessary. I can transfer my ds to this for the first part of the night and when he stirs I scoop him up and put him in bed with me.

Follow your baby's lead and do what works for them x

Original poster
JoanFrenulum · 04/05/2018 20:22

Foam bed rail is a pool noodle?

OP posts:
TroubledLichen · 04/05/2018 20:22

OP you can buy co-sleeper cribs like the Next to Me and others in the US. Are you anywhere near the border?

Original poster
JoanFrenulum · 04/05/2018 20:24

This all makes me feel better, thank you. I shall try the cot again in a few months and see what happens, it would be quite nice if she'd nap in it during the day, eventually. For now she can stay in with me provided she doesn't kick me in the c-section too much

OP posts:
Raver84 · 04/05/2018 20:40

Hi mine have all been like yours so I bought an put up bed and slept with them in their room. Next to them in the cot. then, over a period of weeks and months I went back to my room as they went into deeper longer stretches of sleep as they moved from breast to solids. It worked for us as I slept brilliantly knowing we were next each other but I also slept deeper as I knew he or she wasn't in my bed and were sefely in the cot. Mine youngest is now 11 months and I am obviously not longer in with him but I miss him so much in the night !

Icklepickle101 · 04/05/2018 20:46

We do slept until 18 months ish and then multiple wakings in his toddler bed unyielding he suddenly started sleeping through just after 2. Do whatever works for you. Do you have a partner in bed? At 6 months ish DS moved to the middle which I believe is the safe co sleeping guidelines

Booboostwo · 04/05/2018 20:54

I found the easiest thing was to put the bed away and sleep on a mattress on the floor. Hope you get some sleep!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page