To ask for your positive pregnancy/birth/parenting experiences?

[starsandstuff]

I joined because we're just starting out TTC and I was doing lots of research. I've been reading tons of current and old threads and I now consider myself to have had my eyes well and truly opened to the (often literally painful) reality of pregnancy and childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeplessness, the difficulties in parenting newborns and toddlers and teenagers, the demands of juggling work and childcare...you get the idea.

While I'm very grateful to basically have been allowed to eavesdrop on what parents really experience, I'm now totally terrified and frankly rethinking the whole thing! So before I pop the coil back in and book a nice holiday instead I was wondering: if you were being totally honest would you really do it all again? If so, what were/are the experiences that genuinely make all the hard stuff worth while? Thanks.

Pregnancy with my DS was a pretty easy, straightforward pregnancy. Frustrating in that I couldn’t do some of th things that I wanted but it’s only 9 months in the grand scheme of things.
Labour was 17 hours of intense pain, gas and air and diamorphine helped, ended with an episiotomy and 2nd degree tear with stitches but 7 weeks after I was all healed up. Tried to be super mum and keep going with work etc as I had before as I’m self employed but DS had pretty bad reflux and the lack of sleep and emotional upheaval was hard to get through. I was breast feeding and refused to give in and formul feed because I’m stubborn, at 4 months it all started to come together and since then I have enjoyed every second of being a mum.
Pregnancy with DD was constant throwing up from th second I got pregnant to 14 weeks in and then smooth sailing until around 37 weeks we’re i was just completely huge and fed up. Labour was quick, mild pains and waters gone for a couple of hours at home then an hour after arriving at hospital she was born. Couple of grazes, home the same day, no pain relief. She is an absolute joy of a newborn and feeds like a dream. Enjoyed every second of my newborn bubble and to see my eldest with her just lights up my day he’s so lovely.

Parenting can be frustrating but it’s also the most wonderful and rewarding thing I have ever done.

At the end of the day every pregnancy and labour is different but to look at those little people you have created makes it all worthwhile

Don’t let the bad stories put you off. I had an awful pregnancy and birth and stint in HDU for me and SCBU for DS which led to ptsd. But I’d do it all again in a heartbeat for my darling boy. Devastated I can’t do it again due to secondary infertility. Be prepared, know most of its out of your control and accept what comes your way.

I had a horrendous time having ds three years ago... his sibling will be arriving in roughly 4 weeks time. So yes, I can categorically say I'd do it all again.

What made it worth while are things seen through his eyes, Christmas especially have become magical again. His laugh is infectious. I've met a load of new people, some of whom have become really close friends. We were definitely stuck in a rut which he dug us out of, we've had more holidays and done loads at weekends since he was born.

For me, yes there have been hard elements but we've ended up (so far at least) with a confident, happy little boy who is excited to be a big brother, who lights up the world around him and has brought joy to his grandparents and that makes up for the pain of bringing him into the world (and I need to keep reminding myself of that when he's grinding blueberries into a paste on the carpet or taking every single item of clothing he has out of the cupboard in pursuit of a specific t-shirt and then throwing them on the floor).

I had a wonderful pregnancy and ok birth (it hurts, but was ok) my 6mo has has sleep issues but no more than the norm. Breastfeeding was off to a rocky start but we soon got the hang of it and are still going. I absolutely would still do it again. I have never been so in love in my life. He definitely is worth it and makes me very very happy.

My 2nd and 3rd births were really positive experiences.
2nd birth - I got to the hospital just in time, a couple of pushes and some gas and air, and he was there. I had a little graze but no stitches required. I was discharged 3 hours later straight from the delivery room, baby was really easy to look after, he slept nearly all the time and I spent loads of time reading books and playing tetris.
3rd birth - baby was born at home, labour lasted 2 hours. I did some ironing and made up a couple of bottles while I was waiting for the midwife then when she came we went upstairs and the baby was born a few minutes later. One push, bit of gas and air, no tear. Got up an hour later, got showered and dressed and came downstairs.
I did have afterpains both times but a couple of paracetamol sorted them out.
I chose not to breastfeed so can't advise re breastfeeding, but I'm sure there are many people with happy positive memories of this.

Don't read shit on here or any other forum. Or watch OBEM.

Find a local positive birth group, or read some Ina May books.

I think they are all different and you're more likely to hear bad stories. Nobody posts a thread entitled 'everything is going fine' they only do it when there is a problem! Arm yourself with as much info as possible- especially if you plan on bf as the support and advice post birth is pretty much non existant

I worry that I just will not be able to cope with the hard work

Youll surprise yourself OP - I worried this. Turns out I am much more resilient than I thought. I'm very proud of myself for the way I handled everything so far.

I was happy before but I do prefer my life now. kids are fab. The first labour was loooong but the other two were not so long and much more relaxed. I had water births whoch were great. Labour is totally worth it and you always have pain relief options. I would recommend a birthing centre if you can find one and fancy trying it without an epidural.

Agree with pp about making sure you are with the right man. parenting together is hard work!