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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think we should be given longer than a week to get £75 together...

35 replies

TheBigFatMermaid · 03/05/2018 22:59

DD age 12 does an activity that she loves. She goes twice a week and they provide the uniform, it is reasonably cheap and she has been away for weekends with them and they have cost £10, amazing.

She is going away in June and we have been told tonight that we have to pay £75 by next Thursday. We are a low income family. I cannot pull £75 out my arse in a week!

I just think a little more time to pay would have been more reasonable.

I have managed to borrow the money from my DM, with a lecture about how I should be managing my (very little) money better. Then I reminded her that I had only been told tonight it had to be paid next week.....

AIBU to think that most people would need more than a weeks notice?

OP posts:

Groovee · 04/05/2018 08:27

My DS's scout group were like this. Leader would spy a bargain and book it but not grasp that some parents could whisk £50 up with a week's notice. It took a lot of explaining to him before he finally got it.

I run Brownies and if a parent approaches and says they are struggling we would offer a payment plan and take it out of funds which would then be paid back at what the parent can afford. We can apply for hardship funds too.

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/05/2018 08:27

When was the trip first announced? Could DD or DP have forgotten to mention it and the deposit requirement when they first knew? Normally they would give you a few weeks to pay a deposit at least?

And YY to opening a second bank or savings account that's not on your DPs radar if he can't think more than 5 minutes ahead with money.

Will be useful for so many things to have a bit of money put by for stuff like this and also Christmas, washing machine replacement etc.

Are there things you can do to make money at home? Like matched betting, even just using quidco and making sure you are always on the best gas and electricity tariff, changing each year, and getting cashback when you do. The moneysavingexpert forum and weekly newsletter is brilliant for that sort of thing.

Joanna57 · 04/05/2018 09:00

user139....

Ha ha ha!!!

My DH hasn't a clue what money we have. He doesn't know the banking passwords, doesn't even have a debit card, or even own a wallet.

Our wages go into one joint account, which I am in sole charge of.

He has a certain amount 'pocket money' a week, which is for buying me flowers and treats with.

All the above is HIS idea.

He would be mortified if I suggested he took more control of the family money!!

He is simply not interested.

I'll let him know that he is 'abusing' himself......

teenagerparent · 04/05/2018 09:16

If it is Army Cadets then £75 will be the total amount for the big camp, they are subsidised so don't panic there will be more! They might need an extra £10 for the tuck shop.
Is it in June? Most of the big camps are over the Summer Holidays, wouldn't have thought you could go away for long enough in June for it to be a longer camp. Double check the dates with them, and again they should have a fund that could help you. Don't be worried about asking, that is what it is there for.
You won't have missed a letter, thing with Cadets is that they treat the kids like adults tell them things and expect the parents to be told, it doesn't always work. They were probably told a while ago. If it's a camp for more than their detachment then the letters will have come from above them so they may have only just received them. But I got mine about Annual Camp about 2 months ago, deposit had to be in this week. Rest paid for in June. That's why I'm wondering about the dates of yours.

NoSquirrels · 04/05/2018 14:22

You won't have missed a letter, thing with Cadets is that they treat the kids like adults tell them things and expect the parents to be told, it doesn't always work. They were probably told a while ago.

That's why I was wondering if OP had quizzed the 12 year old!

DougFargo · 04/05/2018 14:25

How long have you known that she is going away in June?

Original poster

TheBigFatMermaid · 04/05/2018 14:31

I had some vague idea she was going away sometime, just not sure when! This is due to DD putting her name on all the lists but then not knowing for sure which she was actually going on!

OP posts:

Quiettiger · 04/05/2018 14:31

Haven't read the whole thread, but from your OP, am guessing it's something like Army Cadets.

Have a word with her detachment commander - they have a discretionary assistance fund that they can access for cadets if they can't afford these things. Similarly, sometimes they allow you to pay over a period - certainly when I was an ACF instructor I did this a number of times.

First thing to do is have a chat with the adults in charge.

Jeeves93 · 04/05/2018 15:40

Sometimes cadets have a habit of not passing on all the information. It is possible she was told this some time ago.

I would definitely find out the total cost. £75 doesn't sound enough for a summer camp. If you can't afford it there is no point paying a deposit you might not get back.

For Army Cadet it is. Our 10 day summer camp is £60.

DougFargo · 04/05/2018 15:42

So you could say then that you don't have a week to find 75 quid, you have a week plus however many weeks or months since she signed up to it>

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