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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thoughtless/lazy DH?

19 replies

123fushia · 03/05/2018 22:44

DD 16 studying for GCSE’s - revising every night. DH fusses about everything, and irritates the life out of Dd. She won’t let him help her, and so revision support has been left to me. I work full time, DH took early retirement last year. I have recently started running, belong to a lovely local club, and am working slowly towards 10k for a run in late May. DH prepared tea for us - warmed up roast chicken, new pots and salad. I ate mine, then left for a run. DH asked dad to come down for hers. She was tired and a bit short tempered (not usual for her). I returned home at 9pm - dd still upstairs, revising in her room, no tea eaten and hungry. Dh adamant that he has provided tea for her, and she has refused it. No attempt to make it more appetising- just put out that she hasn’t eaten it. She hasn’t eaten since 1.30pm and is trying to revise! AIBU to be furious that he has let this happen? He cannot see why this has irritated me. Do I have to give up running to do simple jobs that he is once in a while asked to do?

OP posts:
Storm4star · 03/05/2018 22:47

Um, am I missing something? Your dd refused to eat, the meal was provided. What did you want your DH to Do? Force feed her? Sounds like it was a perfectly adequate meal, her choice not to eat.

Ceebies · 03/05/2018 22:47

She was told her dinner was ready. What more did you want DH to do?

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 03/05/2018 22:49

Yab totally u. She's not a baby. Make it more appetising????? Confused

ZeroFuchsGiven · 03/05/2018 22:49
Confused
honeylulu · 03/05/2018 22:50

Dh adamant that he has provided tea for her, and she has refused it.
Well, he did so didn't he? What was he supposed to do, strap her into a high chair and spoon feed her from a Peter Rabbit bowl?

I get cross when my teen won't come for dinner when it's ready. Rude and disrespectful. I will call twice and if he doesn't come he can go without. If he's hungry then it's his own silly fault.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/05/2018 22:50

Yabu.
This is not your dhs fault, this is your dds.

Wolfiefan · 03/05/2018 22:50

What revision support? Leave her to it?
He told her tea was ready. She hasn't eaten? So she HAS refused it.
How exactly should he make it more appetising? Confused

19lottie82 · 03/05/2018 22:52

YABU, your poor DH. He made her a lovely home cooked meal and invited her to eat it!

What else did you expect him to do? How on Earth was he was supposed to make it “more appetising”? Hmm

And surely at 16 your DD shouldn’t need her parents to help her with revision support?

I’m so confused here!

19lottie82 · 03/05/2018 22:53

Surely this is some kind of bizarre reverse?

BettyPitts · 03/05/2018 22:53

What?

ZeroFuchsGiven · 03/05/2018 22:55

Why are you interfering with your dd's revision? It sounds like you are overbearing and she has made the most of her time to revise in peace whilst you are out running. Your dh has got the right idea, leave her too it.

SilverySurfer · 03/05/2018 22:56

YABU. Your DD is 16 not 16 months old. What did you expect her DF to do? Drag her down the stairs and spoon feed her?

planetclom · 03/05/2018 22:58

Yabu poor husband your daughter needs a lesson in manners and also to do her own revision. Revision help heard it all now.

FlyingMonkeys · 03/05/2018 22:59

That reads as you're a bit resentful of your DP to be truthful.... Which could be the actual issue perhaps.

Original poster
123fushia · 03/05/2018 23:00

Ok ok. I get it! Thank you....will take a breath and think again!
I’m laughing at myself now - thanks for your help. X

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 03/05/2018 23:01

He made dinner. She didn't come down. Now it's his fault she's hungry? WTAF?

How is your dh at fault here op? I must be missing something.

I have two teenage DDs. One is right in A level stress mode. I expect them to come for dinner when they're called. Maybe they don't hear if they have earphones in. Then I text / ring and say "dinner's ready darling" and they come. If they don't I am bloody annoyed.

BitOutOfPractice · 03/05/2018 23:03

Was she expecting him to serve it to her in her room? Or make her something different? I literally have no bloody clue why you would bf annoyed with dh in this scenario!

SomeKnobend · 03/05/2018 23:05

Wow. You've been at work all day, come in and scoffed the dinner dh made you, fucked off for a run until 9.30, and then hada go at him because dd was rude enough not to have eaten the dinner he made you all and somehow that's his fault?! Poor bastard, do you and dd not like him? You've both treated him really badly.

gamerchick · 03/05/2018 23:07

Is this a wood for the trees thing OP?

Just provide food and drink for her and it’s up to her to eat it. You don’t need to baby her.

Although I am curious to what ‘make it more appetising’ looks like Grin

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