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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset re DHs attitude to this.

4 replies

shadypines · 03/05/2018 22:14

I'll try to nutshell. Moved house 2 yr ago, DM died at same time and move was very stressful anyway so I nearly had a breakdown. We have been busy decorating (DH in the main, whilst I work and take on most of household stuff) since then. Had a few tradespeople in, mostly arranged by me.

Sorting/tidying up garden is now important to me, DH not really interested in gardening. There is a limit to what I can do as I suffer with a bad back (work related) and tbh the jobs that need doing are heavy stuff. I have tried and tried to contact countless people to do the job to no avail, keep being let down. Someone came 6 months ago and did bits and pieces but had no luck getting him back again.
DH is giving me no help or support on this whatsoever, offers no finding of numbers to try, offers to make no phonecalls and gives no verbal support, only unhelpful comments. I know he's not good on the phone but I don't enjoy phoning strangers either, and it's been increasingly stressful when they at all so unreliable, as I've told him.
I know he has a lot on his plate with his DF ill at the moment but I can't see this is an excuse (see first sentence), it's our home and we are supposed to be in a partnership to make it nice. It doesn't feel like this, it feels like I am totally on my own with this one and it's making me feel a bit numb. Does this make sense cos I am seriously upset?

I just want a nice garden for myself and DC.

OP posts:
NewYearNewMe18 · 03/05/2018 22:20

YAB a bit U - you are quite capable of phoning someone for quote. If you want something done, then arrange it. Right now your DH has more on his plate with his father being ill than some petunias.

What is it you need doing ? Fencing? paving? patios? lawn laying? You'll get a labourer out of the local paper to do that. I think British Gas also promotes a recommended tradesperson scheme

BellyBean · 03/05/2018 22:20

It must be very demoralizing, you want him to care because it matters to You, even if it doesn't matter to him.

As an aside I've found good people though recommendations on local Facebook pages

Returnofthesmileybar · 03/05/2018 22:20

"Offers no help and support" and you are "seriously upset", all seems a bit ott considering you are talking about sourcing someone to do your garden for you to be honest, unless I am missing something

Happygummibear · 03/05/2018 22:24

My dh doesn't care for the garden only the grass and that it looks like. The garden is my baby and I do most the work in it ( with help from dm and df)

Go on Facebook onto local selling groups always someone on there that can do jobs or ask for recommendations.

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