AIBU to continue with divorce if I am pregnant?

[GrumpyGreta]

Currently in the process of divorcing my DH as found out he was cheating on me. He's moved out but we had sex last week and now I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant (same signs as previous pregnancies, painful boobs, firm full feeling in uterus, peeing more). Obviously don't know yet as tests only work from missed period time which will be another week or so.

Background to avoid drip feeding...
We have been together 12 years, have two dc (6y and 9y), i found out he was cheating a few months ago and (thanks to advice on mn) i got my ducks in a row then told him i knew, wanted a divorce, and asked him to move out. He has been back every few days to see the children, he's still trying to convince me to take him back. I've told him i can't trust him and can't stay married to him so it makes no difference how we feel about each other.

We had a few drinks last week, he stayed over and we had sex. Sorry if tmi ... I knew i was ovulating so half way through i kind of came to my senses and stopped things. Apparently i wasn't quick enough.

I realise how stupid this was but it's done now. I won't have an abortion, had one years ago and it was by far the worst decision I've ever made and have regretted it ever since.

Guess what I want to know is has anyone gone through divorce while pregnant and how did that go?!

Talk to your doctor, get an IUD if you're in time, don't drink around him any more. Work out what you want.

If you knew you were ovulating why did you have unprotected sex unless you were hoping for this outcome.
As far as continuing with divorce proceedings- do what you want, a pregnancy is irrelevant. It’s an extra 5% maintenance for your ex but a massive amount of responsibility for you, especially if he doesn’t step up to the mark as a responsible dad.
If you can cope with three children on your own then go for it- because ultimately that might be how things end up for you

Appreciate the replies.

Am still going to divorce him as he won't change and i still don't trust him. Hope I'm not pregnant as that was a very stupid thing to do. No thought went into it at all. If i am I'll cope. Others have far worse problems to deal with.

Will update after i do the test next week for anyone who is curious.

But you took the MAP right??

I always knew I was pregnant, usually around five days after. I felt as though I could be on speed, didn't sleep and just needed to keep busy.

If you are, then I think you should delay the divorce. Especially if your other children were born whilst married and this one won't be. The child is possibly going to feel some resentment that its Siblings got to grow up with both Parents.

It would mean that you can put your H on the BC without him being there.

I could see you taking him back whilst your full of hormones and it isn't fair on the children, if this turns into a mess.

I was a LP to three children, it isn't the drudgery described on here.

A pregnancy has no bearing on the divorce. If you are not happy as a couple any longer a baby won't change that imo.

Tbh how easy the divorce will be will depend on the grounds for the divorce and whether he contests it or not.

YANBU to continue with separating, but divorce may not be on the cards yet if your H doesn't play nicely.

I think this is probably your mind playing tricks on you--it's basically impossible for you to get symptoms this early (if you ovulated last week and your period is not due for another week, so we are talking about a supposed conception about a week ago, a fertilized egg wouldn't even have implanted yet).

And at 40, your chances of conceiving per cycle are not high, as most of your eggs are non viable at this stage (and I say this as someone who got pregnant at this age. It's still not at all likely per single act of sex).

As others have said, if your marriage is not right for you then it remains not right even if there is a baby.

I agree, don't stay just for the baby, it will drive you insane