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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU with school

50 replies

ScottishMummy12 · 03/05/2018 19:46

My Dd is 5 and in Primary 1. On Monday the school asked if we could have a meeting to discuss dd behaviour. It turns out since after the Easter holidays dd hasn’t been doing her classwork and has been refusing to do any sort of work. I spoke to dd and asked her why she wasn’t doing the work and she said it’s work she has already done and it’s too easy. So I emailed the class teacher explaining that dd is saying that she has done the work before and she is finding it too easy and to ask if she could be given harder work. The teacher sent a cheeky reply saying that my dd was being given work that was the right level and that if the work was to easy my dd would do it.
Since the schools have gone back after Easter my dd has had one homework book that was a lower level than what she has been working on and not been given any new words or homework sheets. I have spoken to dd tonight and told her that she is to always do the work the teacher has given her and not refuse to do it and if I find out she has been refusing to do the work I will be taking her shopkins away from her and she started crying telling me she hates school and it’s really boring but if you don’t do the work and are naughty you get to play games outside with the TA.

AIBU to speak to the head about this as I am getting concerned that dd isn’t getting challenged in the class.

OP posts:

chocolateworshipper · 03/05/2018 20:24

So the "being naughty and you get to play with the TA" is something I recognise from working in a school. Some children, either due to a very hard home life or due to SEN, really struggle to cope with a full lesson, and so are given incentives (such as spending fun time with a TA) to complete less work than the other children. It absolutely does cause problems for the well behaved children as they can't understand why the "naughty" children get these rewards (very understandably).

With regard to not wanting to do the work and going backwards with reading - I am wondering whether she could have dyslexia. If she has processing delay as part of dyslexia, it is possible as the school year progresses and the work gets more complex, she can't process the instructions and tries to cover it up by saying "it's too easy." Dyslexia is far more complicated than I realised before my own DD was diagnosed - I had always assumed it just meant struggling with reading, poor handwriting and poor spelling - but it's much more than that. May not be the case at all of course, but just an idea.

Original poster

ScottishMummy12 · 03/05/2018 20:25

It’s Oxford reading tree that they do. DD knows she is in trouble about refusing to do the work and I do back the school up on it but I do think dd is telling the truth about the work being to easy because she came out of school last week saying that they had been doing the sounds s a t p i n and she was really bored doing it. OH has emailed the teacher asking for the work she has refused to do to be put in her school bag tomorrow and he will make sure it is done over the weekend. I am fully aware children lie to get out of doing work as my oh is a primary teacher and I know the hassle he has to put up with from parents.

OP posts:

CatWhisker · 03/05/2018 20:25

It turns out since after the Easter holidays dd hasn’t been doing her classwork and has been refusing to do any sort of work
That is pretty defiant of her. If she was struggling with the work i could understand it more, but if she finds it easy there's not really any excuse for her to be completely refusing to do any.

PurplePhotoFrame · 03/05/2018 20:30

I don't think you are being (very) UR OP. five year olds should be playing anyway, not sat at a desk

The only thing I can think of which explains the change is that they've looked at the class and realised that they're not up to scratch, so they're trying to go back to basics. Why on earth are they doing SATPIN now?

user1488397844 · 03/05/2018 20:34

Honestly if my 5YO was refusing to do any work for the teacher and being cheeky about it into the bargain I would be absolutely mortified! I know you've told her she is to do the work etc & punished her but it is worrying she doesn't have enough respect for her teacher to do as she is told in class. Hopefully once she moves into p2 after summer and has time off to recharge she might be more enthusiastic about learning again.

Original poster

ScottishMummy12 · 03/05/2018 20:35

That is my thought PurplePhotoFrame. My dd had speech and language from when she was 3 as she didn’t make the correct sounds, so when she started school she already had a solid understanding of the sounds and blending them to make words so it seems crazy that she now is repeating it all. I had given the school a copy of the SaLT report and they were brilliant at not making dd go over them again and gave her work that suited her ability now it has all changed and she is been given very basic work.

OP posts:

MoonFacesMum · 03/05/2018 20:40

That is weird. Is it the same teacher?

PurplePhotoFrame · 03/05/2018 20:45

If your DD has the right end of the stick it is very strange. Only the very poorest P1s would be doing satpin and ORT stage 2 now.

Are they doing these new assessments and trying to keep the children quiet while the teacher does them?

Original poster

ScottishMummy12 · 03/05/2018 20:51

No MoonFacesMum it’s the teacher that used to teach the maths that now has dd for English, oh thinks because dd struggled with maths that the teacher thinks she struggles with English which she definitely doesn’t.

OP posts:

Littlewhistle · 03/05/2018 21:02

S a t p i n d are the very first sounds our P1s are taught so it seems a bit strange that your DD is doing them at this stage of the year.

five year olds should be playing anyway, not sat at a desk You wouldn't think much of our school then! We are very traditional and lots of time is spent sitting at desks. However we have had lots of pupils in from other play-based learning/outdoor learning schools and the parents are always delighted at the amount of progress the children have made since moving.

Original poster

ScottishMummy12 · 03/05/2018 21:03

I think she does. The reading book she has is New trainers and it says stage 2 red band so I think she does have it right.

OP posts:

Littlewhistle · 03/05/2018 21:14

We do book banding (but not the colour coded version I've heard about in English schools) so a book might be ORT Stage 8 but be in Book Band 6 and vice versa. However New Trainers is definitely ORT Stage 2 so it would make no sense if she has already read Stage 4.

Only the very poorest P1s would be doing satpin and ORT stage 2 now. We have quite a few P2s who are still on Stage 2

PurplePhotoFrame · 03/05/2018 21:21

Sitting at a desk all day clearly doesn't work then, does it?

Each at their own pace etc etc.

Littlewhistle · 03/05/2018 21:27

We also have one particular teacher who pushes the kids through the reading books so that at the end of P1 they are mostly supposedly reading Band 5. Then when they come in to P2 the teacher realises that they are nowhere near that level.

SLT son't address the issue though as that teacher is a few years' off retirement and they don't want to upset her. Hey ho - what can you do?

Yorkshirebetty · 03/05/2018 21:45

I don't understand why the teacher's reply was "cheeky"? Was she rude?

Boatsnack3 · 03/05/2018 21:46

Does she have a reading record? That way you could prove to the teacher she had been on stage 4 previously. My dd refused to read books sent home so I let her read books we had and wrote them into the reading record instead.

We had an issue last year where one of dds job share teachers was concerned by her pencil grip but the other disagreed. I ended up getting OT to assess (dd has a disability so OT involvement anyway) they said there was no issue. Could you speak to the other teacher to see if there has been issues in their lessons?

sailorcherries · 03/05/2018 21:52

I'm confused as to how one teacher solely taught maths and one literacy. They are taught every day surely? Therefore both teachers would be aware of her ability

Could it be that the children are actually doing revision now? We work through a phonics and spelling programme thay builds in weeks of revision and assessment at the end of term, allowing the teacher to accurately assess the children ready for the next year.
They also have CEM tests and SNSA tests in P1, which many teachers will want to revise for.

Jessikita · 03/05/2018 21:53

Your 5 year old “dares”’ to disrespect an adult in a school environment and refuses to do work?! Something has gone seriously wrong here.

Euphemism · 03/05/2018 22:11

Testing in P1 is awful. SNSA tests shouldn't be 'revised' for either. It's supposed to be a snapshot of their ability at that time, not a test that can be revised for.
As for the OP, some kids can be defiant because they are bored or upset about something or see 'naughty' kids getting what seems like a reward for bad behaviour. Equally some teachers are kinda crap and can be lazy. My daughter had a teacher in primary that tried to insist that all homework be correct before its handed in. Whats the point in that? How would they know what the child was struggling with? All the teacher would gain is an overview of my ability and less marking for the teacher to do. I refused to 'correct' it for her and she got whatever work my daughter produced for her homework, correct or not.
Some teachers (wrongly) equate poor behaviour with poor ability which is maybe why she is being given easier work.

(I've been a teacher for 20 years so no anti-teacher sentiment here)

sailorcherries · 03/05/2018 22:20

Euphemism I don't disagree. But I do know schools where SNSA are being revised for, as are CEM.
There are also schools (read SMT) forcing teachers to resit CEM in order to improve results.

yoyo1234 · 04/05/2018 04:16

You are here mum. You will have the best knowledge of your child's strengths and weaknesses. It seems odd about the change in reading level. Just concentrate on the fact that this year is nearly over ( last third) and hopefully your child will come back refreshed to a new start next academic year.

yoyo1234 · 04/05/2018 04:17

"her Mum"

GrimSqueaker · 04/05/2018 08:10

I'm confused as to how one teacher solely taught maths and one literacy. They are taught every day surely?

The way our kids' school does it is they have half the week where they do maths all morning and half the week where they do literacy all morning. One half of the jobshare does one and the other does the other and they swap over during the year.

MoonFacesMum · 04/05/2018 13:33

I’m a primary teacher too and I agree with your husband that the teacher is probably assuming your dd can’t manage literacy as well as she can. Which is dreadful and inaccurate, but some teachers sadly do make sweeping generalisations about children.

I think you’ve done the right thing by showing you are willing to back the teacher by getting her to do the work at home and this will send the right message to your dd too. And then you can have a discussion with the teacher about the level of work.

Rockandrollwithit · 04/05/2018 13:41

If it can be arranged, I think either you or your OH should have a proper face-to-face conversation with the teacher. It's difficult to communicate effectively via email as the tone is lost completely - what is cheeky/rude to one may not be to another.

I think it could also be helpful if DD came in at the end of the meeting. She then sees parents and school working together.

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