Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at this?

278 replies

upsideup · 03/05/2018 17:47

DS1 has two friends round for dinner tonight, ones 8 and ones 9 and they have gone outside to play with bikes/scooters etc and both of his friends dont own a bike and have never been taught to ride one before and its not just them they all mentioned several other friends who cant as well.
I thought riding a bike was a still a pretty normal skill that all children had learnt to do by now.

AIBU to be shocked at this? Do most 8/9 year olds not know how to ride a bike?

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 03/05/2018 20:24

My dc’s can’t ride bikes, tried many times but they both have ASD and dyspraxia. Dd1 attempted a scooter for a while but still found it tricky. We found it hard when the school went on a activity week and mountain biking was one of the activities, dd was the only one that couldn’t ride a bike.

catinapoolofsunshine · 03/05/2018 20:27

Cycling is definitely a method of transport NottheFord - my 10 year old cycles to school with his friend - it's 4 miles but faster than the school bus which goes all around the hamlets so a convoluted route. 7 year old takes the school bus but rides his bike to the post box or up the road to his friend's house. 12 year old rides to friends in other villages though her school is too far to cycle to.

My 10 and 12 year olds sometimes do a 14 mile round trip ride to the nearest large village/ small town to buy chocolate croissants for weekend breakfast if it's a sunny weekend morning. That is a luxury scenario I know! However it's balanced by the fact there is only one public bus through the village in each direction per day (plus the primary school bus on school days) and we are 4 miles from a village with one tiny shop and a tiny primary school and 7 from the bigger place with a couple of bakeries, a couple of butchers shops, a pharmacy, a GP, a dentist, a corner shop, a tiny library and a small supermarket.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 03/05/2018 20:28

Expat We live in semi rural Lancashire, just outside the lowest paid town in England: it doesn't cost a fortune to live here.

Many of our bikes are second hand; we bought and sold our kids' bikes as they grew out of them. DH's everyday, nipping to the shops bike was £40, it has certainly paid for itself in saved petrol. The bike DS rode to sixth form definitely paid for itself in saved bus fair. And the cycling all my eldest ones did/do at uni saves money. Plus it all helps the environment.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 03/05/2018 20:29

Fare

Kursk · 03/05/2018 20:32

It does seem that the normal life skills are disappearing:
Riding a bike
Driving a car
Swimming
Changing a spark plug
Changing a tire
Lighting a fire
Reading a map
Using a chainsaw
Reading a compass

All these skills that I taught my kids I have noticed are slowly disappearing. I think it’s due to increased reliance on technology coupled with the urbanization of the country.

HowsAnnie25 · 03/05/2018 20:34

My 2 youngest (7 and 8) can't ride a bike. My eldest isn't very good and not interested either. We have nowhere to store bikes and there's nowhere I consider safe nearby that I'd want them riding anyway. We do lots of other outdoorsy stuff, just not cycling.

iamyourequal · 03/05/2018 20:35

D.C1 (13) learned at about 7. Hates cycling, never does it. D.C. 2 (8) has bike but can’t ride it without stablisers yet. It’s on the list for this summer as we took the stabilisers off last year! I would like her to learn but am another parent who doesn’t want them out cycling on the road anyway. Roads here are far too busy and I’m a terrible worrier.

Scoogle · 03/05/2018 20:35

I'm with you op. I was really shocked that DS friends couldn't ride a bike. cycling is normal in our household. All 3 have cycled from very young but I can see that it's not as commonplace as it was when I was a kid.

murmuration · 03/05/2018 20:41

Using a chainsaw

Is using a chainsaw a normal life skill? If so, it was lost in my family generations before me... I don't think I actually saw a chainsaw in real life until fairly recently. (Although, to be fair, DH apparently is familiar with one's operation, but he grew up on a ranch!)

PoisonousSmurf · 03/05/2018 20:44

I remember being a child in the 70s and not being allowed to have a bike. I had a scooter and a go cart. But they never allowed me to have a bike!

Curiousmoi · 03/05/2018 20:46

@upsideup
I'd be shocked too.
YANBU.

EB123 · 03/05/2018 20:47

My older two have never been interested. We've been to the shops looking at bikes to buy and they just aren't bothered, they love scooting though.

SidekickSally · 03/05/2018 20:48

I guess not all kids learn to ride bikes. I don't consider this a basic life skill. I learnt when I was young and don't ride now and have never ever considered getting a bike in adulthood.

Do those kids do other stuff that yours don't do? Camping, swimming, dance lessons, horse riding, skiing. rollerskating, baking. Each to their own, everyone has their own things they're into.

Kursk - chainsaw???

SheSparkles · 03/05/2018 20:50

Dd learned without stabilisers at 5 and ds was tearing about at 3. He’s almost 16 and he and his pals go everywhere by bike-they cover miles

Oceandegree · 03/05/2018 20:52

If we didn't live in a close where my kids (8,6,4) could safely play with their other friends, they would not know how to ride a bike. If I lived in a flat on a main road, they probably wouldn't have one either.
I don't think we ever bothered with bikes either as kids until much older. We had go karts and home made sledges (boxes) yes!

Echobelly · 03/05/2018 20:53

I never learned to ride a bike as a kid... my parents are just not outdoorsy people at all, I don't think my dad ever knew how. My sister was the only one of the three of us who learned in childhood. But it is getting rarer - one problem I suspect (and we had it in our last place) is bike storage. A lot more families, even relatively well-off ones, living in smaller flats or houses, and/or rented, and nowhere to put bikes.

Also less independence, so kids have nowhere to go if they do learn, unless a parent is willing to go out with them.

DD learned age 5 (literally with blood, sweat and tears from her and DH!)... DS is nearly 7 and has had more trouble with picking it up, as he's been a bit late with everything physical, plus DH has had less time to work on it with him and the small bike pedals need repair.

Kursk · 03/05/2018 20:53

Maybe it’s a rural lifestyle thing but yes a chainsaw to me is a life skill, we use it to clear fallen trees out the road, for gardening and for cutting firewood. 3 times so far this year I have had to stop the car and cut bits of tree so I can get it off the road.

Now that DS is able to use one he and DH collect firewood together (7-10 trees)

FASH84 · 03/05/2018 20:55

I'm 33 can't ride a bike. Sorry to disappoint OP

Pfftlife · 03/05/2018 20:59

My youngest only learned to ride a bike (very shakily) because she had to do cycling proficiency at school. She had bikes since she was a toddler but really doesn't like the out of control feeling you have when learning. I felt like a terrible parent and still do that she's no good on a bike but what can you do, I've tried so hard to teach her. I love cycling but it's just not her cup of tea

CaMePlaitPas · 03/05/2018 21:02

I can't ride a bike, I'm not ashamed.

GrimSqueaker · 03/05/2018 21:06

We have to drive to school - I park a bit away and the kids use their scooters to go from where I park the car into school where there's a scooter rack to leave them... couldn't do that with bikes - couldn't fit them in the car or store them at school.

They have bikes, but since the layout with where we are in terms of roads and ridiculous hills (no way am I letting my dyspraxic child launch herself down the one we live at the top of) is really not very amenable to biking - we have to use the bigger car to get them to the parks to use their bikes... whereas scooters are smaller and more portable and I can just fling them in the car boot for wherever we need them.

bananasplits50 · 03/05/2018 21:07

My siblings and I all learned to ride a bike when we were young. Didn't even cross my mind not to teach my DC to do the same. My eldest learnt slightly older at 8 as we lived in a flat before then and didn't have the space for a big bike. My others were all riding a bike by 4 or 5. We live in London too and they cycle in the local park. There is a shift from bikes to scooters and DC are very fast on those things including my youngest!

lifetothefull · 03/05/2018 21:20

I think I would be surprised too at a bunch of able bodied active kids being unable to ride a bike because they've never been given the opportunity. But in our area we can cycle to lots of places and it's quite safe. Lots of families do.

SidekickSally · 03/05/2018 21:22

Just because some kids can't do things that your kids can do doesn't need to you being "shocked". Lots of kids learn to play instruments but I wouldn't be shocked when one cannot.

And the chainsaw thing - is it really considered a life skill in rural communities? It sounds like a specific skill suited to some lifestyles. Not a general life skill.

I consider general manners and tolerance a life skill. These are definitely getting rarer in all walks of life.

UserV · 03/05/2018 21:24

YANBU @upsideup

I can't believe some of the OTT and histrionic reactions on here. I can only think you hit a raw nerve with some posters as they feel guilty or bad that their kids cannot ride a bike. Maybe they didn't have time to teach them, or the kids simply couldn't do it, or they just couldn't be bothered/didn't have the patience.

Whatever the reason, the snide remarks on here - aimed at you - are totally unnecessary.

I am also surprised when a child cannot ride a bike, as it does seem like a very basic skill, and a rite of passage. Me and my DH had a lot of fun teaching our kids to ride a bike. Comments like 'it's too dangerous' and 'not everyone can afford a bike' are feeble excuses IMO. You can get a young child's bike brand new for as little as £60-70. (Or second hand off facebook or out of the local papers for £25.)

Some people who claim they cannot afford a bike for their child, will spend frivolously on unnecessary items that they could do without (like contract phones and cigarettes.) I have seen it happen.

We were all taught as kids when I was growing up (late 70's,) does no-one remember the cycle proficiency test?! Everyone did it, so I am surprised when I meet an adult who cannot ride a bike.

I am also surprised when children cannot swim, but apparently 1 in 3 can't. Should be compulsory in schools to teach kids to swim....

As @catinapoolofsunshine said, cycling is a form of transport. I used to cycle to work (3 miles via back-lanes and a cycle route,) and it took me 20 minutes. (15 minutes back as it was more downhill back.) The same trip on the bus took 45 minutes, as it went all through the hamlets and housing estates etc. And that doesn't include the walk to the bus stop, and the 5-6 minute wait for the bus. So you could call it an hour!

Like @kursk, I am also shocked at the amount of people who cannot read maps! (Especially under 30s!)

I don't think people need to feel ashamed or defensive, (if they cannot ride a bike, or swim,) but then other people are entitled to think it's a bit odd that some people cannot do something that they deem so simple, and a basic life skill...

I am also surprised when I meet an adult over 30 who cannot drive, especially if it's a man. I don't care if that sounds sexist; it's how I feel.

Swipe left for the next trending thread