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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think sister in law is a grabby, entitled CF?

21 replies

NC650 · 03/05/2018 17:10

I have two older brothers, we'll call them A and B.

A is the oldest, had a university education (fees and rent paid for by our dad), also had his first and second car paid for by our dad. He lives abroad, and has had about £5,000 worth of 'help' with rent etc from dad since moving abroad. He got married a few years ago, with my dad contributing about £20,000(!!!) towards the wedding - they choose to have a big beach wedding abroad. He and wife currently live in a very expensive area, and rent an apartment. They don't have children yet, and haven't expressed any plans to buy (though I doubt they could unless they moved to a more affordable area).

B is the second oldest, he chose not to go to university, started working at 18, and was living at home to save up for deposit. My dad paid for his first (and only) car. However, his girlfriend got pregnant (unplanned), and my dad gave them £25,000 towards a deposit so they could afford to buy a two bed house.

B's wife is apparently very unhappy about this: in her opinion it is unfair that B has had a house "bought for him just because he's knocked up his girlfriend", and it's causing alot of arguments between her and my brother. She actually brought this up with my dad the other day, basically saying he should give them the equivalent of the deposit she gave B: as in he should give them more because houses are more expensive in their area. I stepped in, told her it's none of her business how my dad chooses to spend his money, she's being ungrateful considering my dad forked out for her 'dream wedding', and told her she was being a CF. She left and isn't speaking to any of us now...can't say I'm that bothered!

She IS being an unbelievable CF right?!

OP posts:
NC650 · 03/05/2018 17:13

*A's wife is apparently very unhappy!

OP posts:
Teateaandmoretea · 03/05/2018 17:13

Of course yanbu I don't really understand why you would even think you might be being..

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 03/05/2018 17:15

YANBU. She sounds awful!

Flutist · 03/05/2018 17:35

A has had £25k, two cars and a university education.

B has had £25k, one car and an extended period of living at home for free/cheap.

Imo they have had approx. the same and A's wife is just being greedy.

Rattail · 03/05/2018 17:44

Very grabby, they are very lucky to have a generous father / fil and should be grateful

Returnofthesmileybar · 03/05/2018 17:45

A's wife is s cheeky fucking bitch, glad you stood up to her op

Bobbybobbins · 03/05/2018 17:47

Well done OP!

PalePinkSwan · 03/05/2018 17:48

Maybe she doesn’t realise how much support A has had? I mean she’d still be very rude to demand more help, but if she thinks B is being favoured she might want to stand up for A?

In the interests of smoothing things over, it may be best to all pretend that she didn’t know the details ie didn’t know that a and b have had roughly the same support.

Smeddum · 03/05/2018 17:49

It’s irrelevant what A or B have received, anything she received due to her relationship with A should have been met with “thank you very much, we really appreciate it.”

It’s outrageous that she brought it up to your Dad!!!

My soon to be SIL is similar. Thankfully I have fuck all to do with her or my arsehole of a brother.

krustykittens · 03/05/2018 17:57

If she wanted a house deposit, she should have got hitched at a the local registry office instead of having a big expensive wedding. Cheeky cow should be grateful for any penny gifted her, it's not her bloody money!

Flutist · 03/05/2018 17:57

Maybe she doesn’t realise how much support A has had?
This is a good point. Does SIL know that FIL paid for her wedding?

Cacofonix · 03/05/2018 18:01

Regardless of if she knew she bloody well told her FIL to cough up! What's bloody wrong with her. CF.

minniemummy0 · 03/05/2018 18:31

I want to know what C got!

NC650 · 03/05/2018 18:44

C (me!) has had a car, first year uni fees paid and 3 years worth of rent at uni (fees were three times more expensive when I went compared to C). Also been living at home rent free for 2.5 years to save for deposit, and I'm bloody grateful for it all!!

OP posts:
DuchyDuke · 03/05/2018 18:47

Did A tell his wife that his dad paid for the wedding?

xsquared · 03/05/2018 19:45

Well done for standing up to her. She is being a CF big time.

NC650 · 03/05/2018 19:46

Yep, A's wife knows how much my dad put towards wedding. Her mum paid for her dress. Rest was paid for by A and his wife saving for approx one year.

OP posts:
NC650 · 03/05/2018 19:51

My dad is really upset/confused about what to do for the best now. I'm pissed off because this is meant to be a happy time being excited about his first grandchild, and A's wife is being a grade A brat and making it awkward for everyone. Wish A had married his ex instead, she was lovely!

OP posts:
magoria · 03/05/2018 20:35

Even if A didn't get anything it is not down to her to address this at all.

Nasty and grasping. Well done sticking up for your dad.

PS would you dad like to adopt an over-weight 50 year? Grin

iamyourequal · 03/05/2018 20:40

Yanbu. Your SIL married to A sounds like a spoilt cheeky madam. Your brothers have benefited hugely from your DFs generosity and should be nothing but grateful for it.

Hepzibar · 03/05/2018 20:55

Sounds like A's wife is jealous of B and his DP and their expected child. Expect this to get worse. Kicking off trying to make herself feel better - sad.

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