Kids sleeping arrangements at their dads

[reddie9]

Dcs are almost 9 and 6. Ds is the eldest, dd is the youngest. See their dad every other weekend and roughly half the school holidays. He lives 120 miles away.

When dcs visit, they sleep in the same bed. Their dads bed and he sleeps on the sofa.

He still lives with his mum and dad and they don't have a spare room to convert into a room for the kids. I understand this.

However I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with them sleeping in the same bed.

1. I feel they are getting too old. Ds is becoming more and more aware of his body....like he doesn't like me coming in when he's getting dressed etc. He's also autistic and just recently has started to sleep with no clothes on as he feels more comfortable this way.

1. As mentioned ds is autistic and struggles sleeping. Dd can be a madam in keeping him awake and he can't relax.

1. They are absolutely shattered when they come home. It's so much travelling for them. Especially when they just go for a weekend.

I can't help but feel it would be better if they could sleep in separate beds. They are just that age now.

I know there isn't room for a proper bed to be bought but even just something like a fold up bed would be better than nothing .

Am I wrong to suggest this to my ex? He honestly isn't the type that would ever think to do this himself. I need to remind him of all sorts when he has the dcs. So please don't think I'm interfering with his tome. In a lot of ways he's pretty useless.

I think as soon as ds reaches 10 then it's a must he sleeps in a separate bed to his sister. Or am I wrong?

I just know that on a night, neither of them get a good nights sleep as they keep each other up etc. At least a separate bed would maybe help.

Ds is still shattered from last weekend at his dads and school have noticed it too so I'm just thinking of ideas that could possibly help the situation.

Advice welcome x

how about dad and son share a bed and get a blow up ready bed for the youngest.

No Yanbu. It may have to be blow up beds though if they don't have the space. Is your ex not in a position to move in to his own place?

Single blow up bed on the floor would solve it. All you can do is suggest it.

@feelinggoodinspring oh yes he has a good, well paid job. It's just laziness tbh which is why I need to think about these sorts of things rather than relying on him being able to do and think of things himself.

Thanks, glad no one thinks I'm being unreasonable. He will probably go in a huff as I'm getting involved with his time as usual but I think it's well and truly time they slept apart. Especially in school holidays when they can be there for 5-7 days in a row.

Some fold up camp beds would be perfect. Take up less room than airbeds and easy to store if you get the ones in a bag.

@fourfuckssake4 yep I totally agree. Thanks everyone, I'll mention it before they go see their dad again.

Mention it, not because it's wrong, but because it's an arrangement that is no longer working, surely? If ds isn't getting enough sleep to be ready for school on monday that's not an issue he will know about unless you tell him.

I have a very similar issue with my two sons sleeping at their dads. Not a major issue yet (same sex for a start and younger) but will become one eventually.

Would a trundle bed work? (Single bed with anotherbed that rolls out from underneath m)

Like this: Day Bed Single Bed with Underbed In White 2 beds in 1 www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0095KCRCU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_iL16AbP31YENE?tag=mumsnetforum-21

If it helps you get a handle on this, I work in the family courts. Any court would expect him to provide a bed each for the kids, assuming they don't share a bed at home with you.