Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this school run ridiculous?

84 replies

BluePeonie · 03/05/2018 12:02

Dd is at secondary 10 minutes drive from our house.

Two younger ones are at primary 25 minutes drive from our house (usually takes 45 minutes in morning traffic including dropping DD off on the way) . I spend 2 hours a day on school run in total with toddler in tow.

Our house is great, rural and big enough for all of us. We wouldn't be able to afford this in the city. I always visit friends or go to toddler groups/town in the city after the morning school run which works out well.

The (state) primary school is exceptional and DC are very settled and have great friends. If it wasn't for this I'd move them!!

DH doesn't want to live in the city. I wouldn't mind, love the country but had the commute!

Is this ridiculous?

OP posts:
Lemonyknickers · 03/05/2018 12:06

I commute about the same as you, there are schools nearer but I love the one my kids are at as do they

Original poster
BluePeonie · 03/05/2018 14:40

Ah well that's good to hear. People keep telling me I must be mad and things need to change, it's making me wonder ..... Hmm

OP posts:
irregularegular · 03/05/2018 14:47

Well it's entirely up to you. Personally I made it a very high priority to live somewhere with a primary school within walking distance, and public/school transport for secondary school. 2 hours a day in the car unable to do anything else is an awful lot. Not good exercise either!

On the other hand, I spend 2 hours a day, most days (not all) commuting and some people wouldn't do that. I don't mind so much - I enjoy the read/doze/messaging whatever on the train. Whereas driving to and from a secondary school would not be compatible with getting to work at all. And driving to a primary school would no help with having local friends etc.

But if you are OK with it and think the benefits are worth the costs, then ignore everyone else. Moving is very expensive and disruptive!

saison4 · 03/05/2018 14:54

is there a school bus for 10 year old or is the secondary school on the way to primary?

And why is the primary a 25 mins drive away from home? how many miles? this seems excessive. is there no primary closer to home? If so, I'd move them there so you can walk them to school and put the 10 year old on the bus.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 03/05/2018 15:03

I assume by your reference to toddler groups that you have a child who is not yet even at the primary? Do you really want to do this school run for another 5+ years? I would look at closer options, unless you are very very rural I would imagine that there is a closer primary. Who knows it might also be exceptional, but you wont know unless you look. This would also allow the children more independence by using the bus to get to school and not relying on you to take them.

VladmirsPoutine · 03/05/2018 15:04

Do you work?

DougFargo · 03/05/2018 15:05

If you're happy with it and it works for everyone, who cares? I wouldn't do it, but thats neither here nor there for you.

saison4 · 03/05/2018 15:05

Do you work?

op mentions a toddler and going to toddler groups so I'd assume she is a Sahm.

fatbottomgirl67 · 03/05/2018 15:15

We were lucky snd all the kid's went to they village primary 3 miles away but senior school is a whole different ball game. Eldest dd goes to school about 30 miles away and dd2 has just joined her there. Ds goes to local comp which is 12 miles away. Its really not unusual to travel for school i guess it just has to be worth it for the kids. There have been many times i wished we moved but i like where we live. The only real pit fall ( apart from the early starts)is their friends tend to live further away. Gets a bit boring being a taxi service at weekends and holidays

Nixpix1 · 03/05/2018 15:20

In London the primary school catchment area is quite small, up to 2 miles and secondly school is 3 miles mayb upto about 5 max. Yours seems a bit excessive.

SluttyButty · 03/05/2018 15:23

I used to spend 2 1/2hrs a day doing school runs. God it was monotonous and tiring. Now they both get busses so I no longer do it.
It's just a part of life if you want your child at a certain school.

BitOutOfPractice · 03/05/2018 15:25

Can't DD walk to secondary?

Cacofonix · 03/05/2018 15:25

OP I live in London and I spend two hours a day dropping and collecting kids from school and the various return journeys. Due to traffic we leave at 8.05 in the morning. And I'm back home just after 9. Similar for afternoon. So I think if your kids are happy in their schools and you're ok doing this, I wouldn't worry.

VladmirsPoutine · 03/05/2018 15:33

Then in that case it's part of the territory that comes with being a SaHM with 4 children in different stages.

Original poster
BluePeonie · 03/05/2018 16:32

Thanks for all the replies.

No, there's no bloody bus for DD and she can't walk as country lanes with no pavement.

There is a closer primary but they really really don't want to move. From September my older child only has a year left at primary.

Would really like to move closer to the city as it's a pita doing the school run but don't think we could afford what we have now.

Ugh.

OP posts:
Original poster
BluePeonie · 03/05/2018 16:34

Interesting to hear everyone else's stories of tedious school runs. We used to live practically next door to the primary!

OP posts:
RedSkyAtNight · 03/05/2018 16:44

How do your DC ever see their friends? I guess you must drive them (or they just don't)?

I personally think that's a ridiculous commute to school - particularly for your toddler who must spend a huge proportion of their waking day just sat in car. Also driving all the time is really not good for the environment.

Your primary DC will have an extra 90 minutes on their day if they had a shorter commute - if the (perceived) better school really worth that?

enterthedragon · 03/05/2018 16:51

Is the primary school the closest one to you?

enterthedragon · 03/05/2018 16:54

Sorry, ignore previous post.

RandomWordsStuckTogether · 03/05/2018 16:54

I did a similar school run commute for similar reasons and I fucking hated it.

But if you don’t mind then keep it as it is. Doesn’t really seem fair on the little one though. I knocked my crazy school commute on the head when I had a baby. Upwards of three hours a day in the car with her screaming. It was too much.

missadasmith · 03/05/2018 17:17

I would move the DC to s closer school.

let aside the fact that you spend silly time in the car polluting the environment and spending unessesarily a lot of money on petrol. I would not do it because of the DC:

  • Your primary aged DC spend well over an hour ever single day in the car just going to school. just think how much more meaningful you could spend this time with your DC. Move them. kids make new friends easily and the kids from the neighborhood may be in the same school. win-win . and even if one of the DC has only one more year left in primary? Seriously? So what, it's primary, not A levels or final year at uni.
  • your toddler spends really an excessive time in the car. 2 h every single day just to ferry the siblings to the school? how much more time you would have for your toddler if you could cut this commute or maybe even walk to school. poor child.

you probably convinced yourself that you are doing this to the benefit of the DC. I think you are fooling yourself. I don't believe at all that this excessive and really unnecessary time on the road is for anybody's benefit. rather the opposite.

irregularegular · 04/05/2018 09:12

I thought the word "commute" was exclusively used for journeys between home and work, not for taking children to school. I find it quite odd that people are using it that way (and strangely depressing in a way I can't quite put my finger on)

MarthasGinYard · 04/05/2018 09:17

Well it depends

Are you having to rush to work in between?

If not I'd probably put up with it if I loved my home and dc school was great.

MarthasGinYard · 04/05/2018 09:19

I must admit I would hate a 45 min school run though into city.

We moved dd from a school in walking distance, to rural school but it's 10-15 mins and beautiful drive so It's not stressful at all.

If I was driving into city I'd dread it.

frozenmash · 04/05/2018 09:22

I think you will have years of transport issues ahead of you that you need to think about. Will it be sustainable as your DCs get older to not only have school runs to think about, but also extra-curricula activities and socialising with friends. Yes it does sound like a major pain, only bearable I suppose if you can make good use of your time once you are in the city area. I would have thought you would have to run a very tight ship which your DCs might not appreciate if they have to fit into a timetable. I can still understand you wanting to live where you do!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.