Would you rather be a bad ass or nice

[Martinimonster]

Feel really shit. Came home to find someone parked on my driveway. I kept an eye out and saw someone go get something out the boot and disappear again. My car was parked next to them and they still didn't move.
An hour later this person got into the car and was on the phone. I was leaving anyway to get dc from school and I asked them to move and they put their middle finger up and mouthed fuck off.
I got really annoyed and went up to the window and said move your car! Now! And again got told to fuck off. I didn't know what else to do so I sat and beeped the horn. They eventually went away but I am left feeling horrible cause I hate confrontation so much and I was all shakey.
I am such a timid person but I hate been walked all over, I've put up with so much shit from people that something in me snapped a while ago and now I can't see anyone attempt to walk all over me.
I always feel bad after i have stood up for myself too like I am a nasty horrible person for getting cross.
Aibu to want to feel like a bad ass hard nut who takes no shite or do I embrace the softly softly friendly caring person who is underneath it all? Does anyone else struggle with confrontation?

It sounds like you are a bit of both. Embrace your soft side but don't let anyone walk all over you. I'm the same quite soft though people think I'm tough but any sort of confrontation leaves me a bit of a wreck & I hate it then again if I see something that is wrong I will tell people. Better to be nice than like the knob who Parked in your driveway (who the hell does that anyway?!)
All the people I know who are very well thought of are very nice, caring people

I find it hard to tell people they are wrong or im always like oh that's fine it's up to you or whatever and I annoy myself so much.
I just don't have a gob on me until I am pushed then I erupt. My parents are very spritley and are straight in there if they have a problem with something so I don't know why I lack so much confidence.
The thought of embracing inner bad ass is starting to become more appealing. Don't know how I get better at handling confrontation.

Mirrivan did you write that yourself or quote that is a great motto. I need to save this

Hmm it’s a tricky one. I’m nice generally and go out of my way to help people but if someone takes the piss I stand up for myself.
Someone tried to push in front of me in a queue yesterday- not happening.
Someone tried to cut in to my lane the other week at a roundabout and had the cheek to beep me- not happening, she realised her mistake when I’d done with her.

So there’s a time and a place. You can be nice but also not a push over.

I also felt bad the other day when an old man asked me to read ha gas metre for him and I said no. I was delivering to his neighbour and asked if he would take it but when he asked me I had visions of him hitting me over the head and locking me in the gas metre cupboard I said oh in sorry I can't do that. Felt like total shit after that when he said I was being ridiculous. Fyi I didn't say no because I think your going to kill me but I was polite and said no I can't do that.

They wouldn't have stayed parked on my driveway but I wish I was nicer sometimes.

The grass is always greener.

It is possible to be both nice and assertive.

Saying no isn’t rude.

Saying “please remove your can from my property” politely but firmly isn’t rude.

Following it up with saying politely but firmly “move your car right now or I’ll call the police” isn’t rude.

You don’t have to shout or swear or be rude or aggressive to be assertive and get people to do what you want.

Nice and assertive aren’t mutually exclusive.

And yes, as a pp said practice.