Sick with a baby

[espoleta]

I need some perspective.
I have been really ill since Monday. I am on maternity leave with DD (5 months). I've been in bed all day with a fever of around 38 degrees. I don't get sick often.

On Monday DP was out all day (as in from 5-midnight, he had to go abroad) so I managed the baby all day myself. He was aware I was ill, but I knew it was an important meeting so I played it down and told him that I was really struggling while he was in cab to the airport.

Tuesday he worked from home to help with the baby. My fever had not broken and I was really ropey. He did lots of call so I did take care of the baby, but he was helpful. I also did the wake up with our daughter last night.

Wednesday (so today) I spent most of the night up. Our DD woke up a few times, but I was feeling really dreadful. I had a temperature, I was sweating and at this point, I can't swallow anything. I woke up this morning and made a doctors appointment and asked if he could stay with DD while I went to the doctor (11) as I wasn't keen on taking her a) because the the germs and b) there are steps and I really wasn't keen on walking up with them with her in my arms as I am very weak. He told me no, that he needed to go to work.

I've been to the doctor and I have severe tonsillitis and have antibiotics. I still have a low grade fever. I am really struggling taking care of her. I am struggling to take care of myself.

I am super pissed off that he didn't help out with DD and that he has prioritised work over us. He is CEO, has equity in the company and when he bought in one of the reason was to 'be more flexible'.
Am I being unreasonable?

I think if he had a job where his employer could make his life difficult or fire him for taking too much time off then it wouldn’t be his fault, but if he is CEO then he is just getting his priorities wrong!

You poor thing, tonsillitis is horrible. I get it at least once a year and it wipes me out for days. Hopefully the antibiotics will kick in very soon as you'll be feeling a bit better by tomorrow. In the meantime your DH needs to help you and YANBU to expect him to do more, part of being a team is that one of you picks up the slack when the other can't. What time will he be home? Could he cook dinner and do baby bedtime while you have a rest?

Thanks. It's good to know I'm not loosing my mind.
He told me he "won't be home late". So I think we're looking at 6:15.
I'm very disappointed with him.

It's awful being ill when you're looking after a baby. I had an awful chest infection when DD was around 9 months, I remember hallucinating watching that bizarre programme that comes on before In The Night Garden (the one with a beaver blowing bubbles in a lake). I still can't watch it now!
My DH took one day off but the rest of the time I just muddled through. He couldn't/wouldn't take more days off and I figured if I was able to feed, change and supervise the baby I'd manage.

As a CEO I imagine your DH has a lot of responsibility and teams to manage, so he can't take time off the way he could if he was lower down the ladder.

Can you get an emergency nanny or babysitter to come and help, so you can rest?

You don’t need some perspective, you need your DH to look after his child while you recover. It’s horrible being that ill and having a baby to look after.

I would have thought if he were CEO he could be more flexible but I guess he probably has a lot of responsibility. If you have tonsillitis though that means you should be resting and looking after a 5 month old is not resting. Do you have family nearby or emergency nanny from an agency?

He has as much or as little flexibility that he wants to be honest. He has still made it to a school meeting for my DSC today which probably took two or three hours out of his schedule.
I think the antibiotics are starting to help, feeling a bit better and my temp has dropped to 37.2 so coming right slowly. Depending on how I feel tomorrow I might get an emergency nanny.
Neither of us have family close by.