Would you consider this encounter an example of everyday sexism?

[AngeloMysterioso]

Just been to a meeting at lunch, I’d walked up from the tube in the rain in a leather bomber jacket and got a bit hot so when I got in the building I took my jacket off. The office had one of those automated gate things and his chap was coming out whilst I was stood next to it, so I got out of the way and said “Sorry! Don’t mind me” perfectly politely. He looks at me and goes “You’re dressed for the summer! Not this weather.”

I am dressed thus: black heeled court shoes, black tights, a knee length black pleated skirt, and a black sleeveless top. The whole effect is rather sombre, and far from summery. It’s not like I’m strutting around in a crop top and hot pants. And even if I were, why is is this guy’s place to pass comment? I mean what the fuck is it to this random dude what I’m wearing? Does he remark on the outfits of every stranger he encounters, or just the women?

My point is, I’m willing to bet if I’d been a bloke in a tshirt and jeans he wouldn’t have said a damn thing. My DH however thinks I'm overreacting.

You're wearing a sleeveless top & he's making meaningless conversation as people do. You initiated conversation, not him. You're overreacting.

I say that sort of thing to men and women all the time. It just the lack of sleeves.

I suppose he just meant that the coat wasnt waterproof or something like that? I think your overthinking in this instant, some people just like to say something to make conversation. i wouldnt think anymore of it unless he goes on at you again, people can be strange sometimes.

Do you go out of your way to be offended?

Why on earth would you consider this sexism?! He made a stupid comment. End of.

To be fair if "his chap was coming out" then I agree with the OP. :-p

There’s a bloke in my office who always wears a tshirt no matter the weather. I have commented before to him that he’s not dressed for the weather. He’s a man and I’m a woman.

I’m sorry I’m not seeing the issues. Maybe your just looking to be offended today?

Yes your top would be a sunny day top to me, it’s sleeveless and it’s umm raining!

Sexism 😂

I’d say the same if a man had shorts on. I think your reaching a bit

I'm not generally easily offended. I wouldn't say I'm offended at all actually, just a bit baffled.

I wouldn't class it as 'making conversation' as he said it when he passed by me, its not like we were stood in a queue together and he wanted to fill the silence. I've never seen him before and probably never will again. If it had been someone I knew who said it I wouldn't care. But of all the things this guy have said to me in the two seconds we passed by each other, he chose that?!

I stand by my theory that he wouldn't have said it to a man

Erm... Get a grip

I stand by my theory that he wouldn't have said it to a man

Why do you think this? You don't know this man at all and yet are presuming he is sexist purely because he's a man. Sounds like you're being the sexist one tbh.

I get what you mean OP. This sort of thing annoys me too. It's in the same vein as 'cheer up love, might never happen'.

But equally, I do think these things arise from awkward small talk so I try to cut people some slack. Every now and then though, if my hormones are alligned just so...

Jeez it must be sooooooo tiring to take offence at everything.

It's in the same vein as 'cheer up love, might never happen

It's not the same as that at all!!

The OP wasn't wearing her jacket, no sleeves, a skirt and it was raining. That's it.

Wow.

Jeez it must be sooooooo tiring to take offence at everything.

I'd imagine it is... luckily I'm not one of those people

You know what I would consider an example of everyday sexism?
When women assume that every innocent thing that any man ever says must be sexist because all men are sexist pigs.

I’m willing to bet if I’d been a bloke in a tshirt...
But you werent wearing a tshirt? You were wearing a vest, Im willing to bed if It had been a bloke in a vest he would have said the same thing or if you had both been wearing an actual tshirt he wouldnt have said anything to you either of you.

It's not the same as that at all!

Well it's a man, commenting on a stranger's appearance.

Wouldn't happen if the sexes were reversed. So there are thematic similarities. I'd never tell a male stranger if he was dressed 'incorrectly' imo.

But I'd concede that it's low-level annoying. I'm not saying I'd be frothing at the mouth at this.

Your DH is correct

I see your point actually OP. I think everyone saying they could also imagine doing this, it's just small talk, are also right - but I do think men are in general much more likely to take a slightly dismissive tone with a woman than a man. And it sounds like one of those examples to me.

Some people (both sexes) are OBSESSED with what others wear according to the weather. I am generally too hot and wear shorts to gym etc and I may go to supermarket before or after, I get so many ‘aren’t you cold’, ‘it’s winter’ type comments. I just ignore!

I definitely don’t think he was being sexist. It’s just the seeing arms / short sleeved thing.

Depends on how he said it as well. Maybe his tone rankled more than the actual sentence?

We will soon get to a point where men will be too scared to dare speak to a woman for fear of being offensive and sexist.

I’m scared to say anything to anyone these days and I’m a woman. Keep quiet seems to be the way to go. Three wise monkeys!