Short back story is I cut off contact with my family about a year ago. They were awful to me when I was growing up and as a younger adult though seemed to get better when I got married, then regressed to previous behaviour after a family argument. I won't give examples as they may be outing, but it includes running me down, cutting me off at a very difficult time in my life then 'forgiving' me, criticising me and my parenting skills, just relentless unpleasantness. At this point I realised that I did not want people who treated me like that in my life. So I no longer speak to my mum and dad or sisters and to be honest I should have done it sooner. They are all still close.
My mum emails me every so often on a pretext, her emails are always deeply hostile and aggressive. The latest email was about seeing the kids and also telling me that I have destroyed the family. She says this most times she gets in touch, there is absolutely no capacity to recognise that the way she has behaved over the years led to this.
What I find really hard to cope with is being the focus of such anger and bitterness from her and sisters. I know them well enough to know they must all still discuss me and will all have re-enforced each other's views that I am a terrible person who is responsible for destroying the family. I feel their hatred is like a weight on me and I don't know how to get past it so I can reach a point where I just don't think of them. It's horrible to know that there are people out there who bear you such ill will, I feel like I can't cope with this today.
If anyone has any advice it would really help.