AIBU Help me figure this out pls

[MrsMacron]

I need some sensible MN advice (long time user, name changed).

I live in country A w DD5 and DS2. Sister lives in country B. My parents live in country C. Each country on a different continent and quite expensive to travel between.

My sister is having her first baby in July and has asked me to come help. I would absolutely love to help out. She and her partner live in a small 1 1/2 bedroom in the city centre and I would have to take my two children with me.

I'm worried DS and BIL haven't realised how stressful it is to have a newborn and adding a 5 yo and toddler to the mix in a small space might be more stressful than helpful. My 2 yo is very loud and active. My 5 yo is very close to DS and BIL and might be jealous.

What should I do?

Don't go! Or certainly don't go with your dc. Your sister wants you to help. You won't be able to with the demands of a 5 and 2 year old. She does not need that under her roof with a new born!

I don't think you'd be much help to be honest. Too small a space to fit you all in and it sounds like a nightmare in the making.

Agree - disastrous idea.

Exactly! Don't go. Your sister would like you to help. Oh but, you live on a different continent and already have a five year old and a two year old.

Sorry Sister, you can manage. You have a husband and yourself. It is doable.

Just be honest. It’s not going to work and you and the kids being there will just be adding more stress to the mix.

Can you go over without the kids at all? Even for a shorter period of time?

suggest parents go and stay to help, and you just go visit (and stay in a hotel)

It would be hell with 3 adults (assuming you aren't taking your dc dad with you too), 2 young children and a newborn baby in such a tiny house. sis may think it will be nice having her sister help, but when shes been up all night with baby she will not be happy with a toddler waking baby up when she finally gets it down for a nap.

You can't go and take your children. You wouldn't be able to look after your sister, the baby and 2 children at the same time in a tiny flat. You won't be a help but a hindrance.
Either leave the children behind, or rent somewhere nearby ( airbnb?) and just visit sister .

Tell her honestly that you'd love to help but your dc will mean that it will backfire horrendously and that it isn't worth it.
Or visit for a couple of days and with a view to then extending the visit if it's working out unlikely

Better still, nip over there for several days on your own. Surely your dp can cope for a few days on his own with the kids?