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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep my DD home from school

21 replies

Cath2907 · 02/05/2018 09:18

Today is Yr2 (DD is age 7) testing day. I don't agree with testing 7 year olds and had discussed this with my DDs teacher. Had DD been comfortable with the testing I'd have let her go in and do it but today is day 1. She's been getting up early and not sleeping well the last few nights but I hadn't asked her why. This morning she had a melt down about some socks which resulted in her crying in a puddle on the bed with me for 10 mins. I finally managed to drag out of her that she had to do tests and she couldn't read them (he reading is behind but she is improving and gaining in confidence). I tried to tell her the tests didn't matter and that she should just do her best but this didn't help. She was obviously upset and stressed about this so I have kept her home (something I'd already warned her teacher I would do if I thought these tests were causing her distress). I have told school she wont be in today and will pay any fine for unauthorised absence that is imposed.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but wonder how many parents would or have done the same?

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/05/2018 09:21

I think you are in the right tbh. she is already struggling why make her feel crap by giving tests that will only serve to make her think she's stupid.

If they don't know her levels by now they aren't going to

coffeeeandtv · 02/05/2018 09:25

I support you totally, as the mother of 2 teenage boys who 'educationally matured' in high school, I would say, spend the day reading with your daughter and encourage her to attend tests on other days so this reluctance to take tests doesn't become an issue. I've always said to my kids 'be the best you can be' in all aspects of life, be the best at being kind, the best at being thoughtful and that practice makes perfect.

AllyMcBeagle · 02/05/2018 09:28

YABNU. If adults can be off work when sick with stress then why not kids? She doesn't sound like she's in a fit state to go in and the tests don't matter to her as far as I understand (it is not like GCSEs/A Levels etc).

Sirzy · 02/05/2018 09:32

Won’t they just be done when she does back in through? Year 2 SATs aren’t as restricted timings wise.

Teachers shouldn’t be telling the children about them or making an issue of them anyway

Tamingoftheglue · 02/05/2018 09:36

I have a year 6 ds who is really struggling with the build up to his SATS so completely understand where you're coming from had a bit of a difficult morning with him myself.

PinotAndPlaydough · 02/05/2018 09:36

You are absolutely doing the right thing. It’s a disgrace that this country is testing children of that age and that they are so aware of it that they become distressed.

My child is in year 1 and they are due to take the phonics screening next month, I’ve also made it clear that if my child in any way becomes stressed I’ll be taking her out and then withdrawing from any further standardised testing. It’s not ok that this happens, especially when so many other countries don’t even start formal education until they are 7.
Keep her at home and do something lovely

SecretIsland · 02/05/2018 09:46

I'm assuming you're in Wales op? My primary dc's National Tests have also started today.

I would be blaming your school for her feelings about the tests tbh. My two have gone in happily, knowing they've got their first test today - but there's been absolutely zero pressure from the school about them.

No child will automatically panic about a test - it's a learned reaction, based on the attitudes they see around them.

Personally I think yabu - I would work on your dd's confidence around this, not teach her she can just skip parts of school she doesn't like. There are plenty more tests to come for the next ten years.

IAmMotherOfDragons · 02/05/2018 09:59

The school should have handled tests in a way that causes no stress or upset to children. too much pressure has been put on your dd, which isnt right. I would keep her off and tell them why. Its year 2, not gsces, a levels or uni exams.

My dc didn't even realise he was doing his yr2 SATS, they had practiced past papers in a relaxed way in class, so when they went in to do the actual tests the children just thought they were another lesson and got on with it.

GrimSqueaker · 02/05/2018 10:09

Local school to us are putting kids through "mock year 1 phonics screens" obsessively at the moment which is just fucking ridiculous.

FASH84 · 02/05/2018 10:18

Be careful she's not picking up on your feelings about testing. Build her confidence and don't let this become a habit, if she avoids something she is frightened of it will make it a bigger deal long term. She will probably have to do them when she goes back anyway. Just make sure whatever the results are they have no impact on her at all, maybe plan to do something she enjoys to reward her for trying and don't even talk about the results. If school do, there's your battle.

roseblossom75 · 02/05/2018 10:22

I wish I was so assertive.
I really didn't agree with those tests.

unintentionalthreadkiller · 02/05/2018 10:43

Yanbu.

We have been warned however that if we pull them out for testing they will be tested in another day so may not avoid it all together.

Ridiculous things in y2 imo.

Original poster

Cath2907 · 02/05/2018 11:09

We work hard to build her confidence as do school. Reading had been an issue for her (compounded by a lot of time off school in the last few years due to chronic illness). Her reading is finally picking up and her confidence just starting to blossom due to a lot of hard work from her teachers and from her. Her response to these tests was "I can't read and there are so many complicated words". She is right - I've seen last years, she wouldn't be able to read the questions. This is foolishly stressing. It has to be done under exam conditions. so you are going to sit her in front of a piece of paper she can't red for 30 mins in silence and tell her to answer the questions... That is nothing if not damaging. I shall pop in to see her teacher at the end of school to see how to avoid her having to do these.

OP posts:

taratill · 02/05/2018 12:26

My daughter who is in year 4 will not be doing her year 6 SATS for similar reasons. I am actually looking at whether to move her to an independent without SATs as I see no point in her being crammed and stressed out (she is already stressed out by the weekly spelling tests) which are gearing up to the SPAG.

YADNBU I just wish the government would wake up and realising that they are causing our children mental health issues at the same time as reducing mental health funding for children!

FASH84 · 02/05/2018 12:30

If she can't read the test should she not be given 121 support or the q's read to her??

steppemum · 02/05/2018 12:34

Cath - I think you are doign the right thing keeping her off, BUT the school are not handling this well.
Year 2 SATs are really a guide for teachers, the level they are at is done by teacher assessment and the SATs paper is only a part of that. If a child does really badly in the paper and it doesn;t reflect the classwork, then they can ignore the paper.

The school should not be approaching this like and exam, but rather like a task to do together. The drama and build up is misplaced and it is that which is causing your dd stress.

Also, any child can work away from class with a TA/another teacher, and often a small group will do the test in the library, or another room to get them out of the 'whole class in silence' atmosphere.

I think you need to talk to school about how they are handling it. One way is simply not to tell the children which day, or that it is a test!

steppemum · 02/05/2018 12:34

FASH - not if it is a reading test!

user1471547789 · 02/05/2018 20:08

I agree with PP who said she will have to do them when she gets back - assuming these are the NC tests? Unless the school have evidence that she is working significantly below the programme of study for y2 then she has to sit them and the only way really to avoid it would be for her not to go to school in May because this is the test window. The other issue with this is that they're then sitting them on their own, the school are having to find 2 members of staff to supervise etc and if she is already anxious then being alone with just 2 adults might make her feel more under pressure.

To the PP who suggested reading the questions to her - fine for the maths paper but not the reading paper, it is a reading test and that includes their reading and consequent understanding of the questions.

I agree the school isn't handling it brilliantly, there should have been some things put in place to give her coping strategies etc and also for THEM to reiterate that they don't matter, she should try her best and if something is too hard to look again but then move on, and if she gets to the end and gets 0 marks, they will still be proud of her. If this message was the one give from the beginning the situation might not have got this bad.

If they are sitting the grammar test that is optional so if that stresses her they should really be able to pull her from that.

I hope she starts to feel a bit happier soon, must be horrible having her so distressed, especially when it is avoidable 💐

celticprincess · 02/05/2018 21:10

Y2 sats were a bit of a non event when my eldest did hers. She’s now y4. I am worried about her y6 ones in a couple of years though. Youngest is in y1 so doing her phonics screening. She’s never mentioned tests yet and we’ve had practice papers home. She is very able though and they seem like just another activity to her. I’m hoping the y2 sats next year will also be a non event.
I’m not sure about the whole keeping kids off. The school will just do them on another day I expect. It may also set a precedent for future testing. I am also against formal testing at this age, for the record, and I’m a teacher.

Yvest · 02/05/2018 21:16

Unless you’re going for an all through (and sometimes even then) school you’ll have the joy of 11+ to prepare for and trust me, they make SATS look like a walk in the park. From Mkd year 5 to Jan of year 6 it’s maths, comprehension, story writing, times tests, mental maths, timed tests every day for the October and as holidays, mock exams, verbal and non verbal practice. Be very careful to probe fully because no SATS absolutely doesn’t mean no testing and many independent schools have testing week a couple of times a year

Barbie222 · 02/05/2018 21:29

Calm down y'all! In Y2 she'll just do them when she goes back. By keeping her off you just reinforce the idea that it's an Awful Big Event to be afraid of. And even if you keep her off till June, they'll still have to put their teacher assessment anyway. Please don't give it any more head space than it deserves. I'm a Y2 teacher and it's me that needs the results not the children.

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