Any aspire here?

[BossyPaws]

I just want to vent. I manage to hold down a professional job - albeit by a thread half the time. I'm a mobile worker so spend a lot of time on my own which is perfect but the manager has asked that I make an effort to come into the office to socialise at least once a week. I went in today - the noise nearly tipped me over the edge, everyone talking, the racket merged into one huge noise that felt like it was caving my head in. I didn't benefit from going in and neither did anyone else. I'm so frustrated. I wish I could give up my job and work from home but I can't do anything else! Feel trapped

Title should read "Any ASPIES here"

I don't have asperger's but do need time to myself to recharge. I like working by myself.

You didn't ask for advice but, tell her that you can't come in. Say you tried it and couldn't cope. Basically, say what you've said here.

I can see why they asked it of you but equally why you won't do it in future.

Why on earth do they need you to go in and socialise?! Sod that for a game of soldiers. Tell them you've tried it & can't cope & if they mention it again start talking about disability discrimination, that should shut them up. Why do they feel the need to force their habits on us? We don't do it to them.

"Why on earth do they need you to go in and socialise?"

You don't understand why it could be beneficial?

"start talking about disability discrimination, that should shut them up"

Yes. You're right. Usually people "shut up" rather than considering whether the person saying it has a valid point or not.

Fortunately the OP sounds much more reasonable and less divisive.

It's not beneficial to OP who finds it extremely difficult. She's said it didn't benefit anyone else either. Just because her manager likes to be in the office 'being sociable' doesn't mean that he's right to force it on everyone else without taking their feelings into account.
And my point (which I'm sure realise but you're obviously the sort who likes to be a shit for the sake of it) is that if OP mentions disability discrimination (which is valid here) then they might actually stop and think about what they're asking instead of just assuming OP can suck it up.
HTH.

It doesn't really help, not.

Try reading the OP's post. She hasn't even said that the manager knows she has asperger's.

Try reading my reply to the OP. It might benefit you.

tell her that you can't come in. Say you tried it and couldn't cope

I can see why they asked it of you but equally why you won't do it in future.

Does that help you understand a little bit?

Good luck with your attitude issues and wish to divide 'us and them', ffs!

Keep your patronising for someone who's interested. You have no idea what it's like to have autism.

OP, I’m an Aspie and so is my DD and many of our relatives.
You are entitled to have workplace adaptation to help with any Aspie issues - you should raise this with your manager.
My DD had a full assessment from Occupational Health, and they provided loads of help, even offering a private quiet room she could withdraw into if she was having a meltdown. Her colleagues were all given training on how to deal with Aspies in the workplace, and she joined the autism network that the company organised to put other Aspies in touch to help each other.
This was in a major financial services company, so can be done even in big organisations. Good luck with getting something similar- I imagine that your own OH dept would immediately advise dropping these “social” horror trips to the office!

Keep your insults for someone who's interested.

Oh, and DFOC

Thanks for the replies. Problem is I haven't been officially diagnosed. I'm under psychiatrist for BPD/Anxiety/bipolar and he said I have traits of aspergers but he doesn't feel a diagnoses would be beneficial. After today I beg to differ. If I at least had a reason I can't function in office maybe manager would be more understanding? Should I push for official diagnosis?

I'm worried that there is a loop hole which would state part of the job description is tream work (I'm a community nurse)

It’s really up to you whether you want to go for an official diagnostic label, OP, but if you already have an anxiety/BPD diagnosis, you could ask for workplace adaptation for that instead! I would think you could say that the social office thing was triggering your anxiety? Occy Health should be able to intervene on that, particularly if it’s unnecessary for your job to attend these office things, and you never were required to before.