Over the last few years, my DPs (in their 80s) have drunk more and more alcohol, to the point I would now describe them as alcoholics. When they are in drink my DM particularly is really unpleasant - really bitter, brings up long held resentments, dominates the conversation, terribly passive aggressive and hyper critical. I have raised their drinking and my concerns in the past and got nowhere.
Last year DM was told she has to go teetotal because of liver issues. She did, for about 8 months and it was like having my old mum back. She was funny, and cheery and it was delightful.
She's now back on the booze and when I asked why she was drinking again, said it was a matter for her. The last visit was tortuous! My cousin (who was also staying and to whom I am close) described it as "excruciating".
My question is this. AIBU to take the view that I can't control their behaviour and drinking but I can control my interaction with the same and can refuse to go to stay as often, or at all, whilst they are drinking to excess? Do I explain to them the correlation between lack of visits and their boozing? Or do I just suck it up and get on with visits, on the basis I will feel horribly guilty when they croak if I haven't been in contact.
Am feeling terribly conflicted. Help!