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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for your MMR un-scary stories

123 replies

WhatisaNarwhal · 30/04/2018 22:48

DD's MMR has been delayed on the advice of Drs (run of ill health at 1 year made them wonder if immunocompromised in some way - she had 6 months of vicious back to back infections that led to multiple admissions via A&E), but we got the all-clear, 'just bad luck, and a nasty, tenacious case bronchiolitis' and now there's measles in our local community so.... she's 2 and having it tomorrow.

She's only having the MMR - the other 12 month vaccinations (late too) will be given in a couple of months time. We're splitting them out - not for any defined medical reason - but because of her extreme high temps after all previous vaccinations, and the fact that she just reacts strongly to vaccinations, viruses, bacterial infections... she gets so unwell with all of it.

Im not anti-vaxx, and while I know there's no proven link between MMR and autism, but I am very aware that vaccine injuries DO happen. I am an anxious mother, in therapy for over 18 months for PPA/PPD- so please do - for AIBU - be gentle with me - and share your 'debunking the myth' MMR stories. She simply HAS to have this vaccination tomorrow, and I'm v anxious about it.

OP posts:
Bearfrills · 01/05/2018 08:10

I also delayed it for as long as possible due to the MMR autism scare. I still believe it does cause it, and if I had a choice I wouldn't have personally vaccinated

The MMR does not cause autism. Autism existed long before the MMR and any link between the MMR and autism been long since discredited. The truth is that these diseases can and do kill so what you are basically saying is that you'd rather risk having a dead child than an autistic one.

Minniemountain · 01/05/2018 08:28

DS has a rash on his arm for a few days. That's it.
All his friends have had it and none have had any problems.

bluerunningshoes · 01/05/2018 08:29

dc x2 had vaccination
no reaction at all
everyone happy

enterthedragon · 01/05/2018 08:32

MMR vaccinations weren't around when I was a kid, Measles nearly killed me though (I was comatose for 3 weeks) and had to re learn how to do some normal every day things, walking, using cutlery, brushing my teeth and hair etc, 50 years on there is still a part of my life that I have no recollection of whatsoever and I have no memories of my father at all from before I had the measles. DH was also born before the MMR vaccinations were available and I'm 100% certain that he's an Aspie as are both of our kids who were both displaying Aspie traits long before having the MMR, both kids did break out in urticaria though but that was easily sorted with a couple of doses of antihistamine.

There is no reason why you shouldn't go and spend time on the narrowboat. Is it reasonably close to home?

yestheyhavethesamedad · 01/05/2018 08:39

I have 6 kids they all had the mmr with no problems , my eldest dd is autistic but she showed traits before the mmr , the others are all healthy adults/children . Strangely enough none got a temperature after this vaccine but did after the others

Redrosebelle · 01/05/2018 08:44

I’m a paediatric research nurse
You would not BELIEVE the things we do in order to make sure a drug is safe
There are lots of conspiracy theories out there about vaccination injuries and how we have the cure for cancer or whatever but the truth is anyone can react to any drug given (not just vaccinations) and nothing is 100% safe ever but I’d the government are including it in heir vaccination programme it’s a pretty cert given that it prevents nasties and is pretty safe!

TheRealMcKenna · 01/05/2018 09:05

DS and DD both had MMR, as did I at age 40 (never had mumps). DD’s was delayed as she had open heart surgery at 13 months’ old, but had all her vaccines as soon as she’d recovered.

I echo what Redrosebelle says about vaccine safety. I enrolled DS (now 11) into a vaccine trial at birth for the broader PCV vaccine (which is now approved and given to all children). It was the best decision I ever made. He had all his vaccines at home in the presence of two nurses and (for the first ones) a paediatrician.

specialsubject · 01/05/2018 09:23

science does not need belief. nonsense needs belief becauae there is no proof.

risk of the vaccine enormously less than the risk from the diseases. Unless strong real medical advice not to vaccinate, do it.

car journeys much riskier.

theymademejoin · 01/05/2018 09:31

If she has reacted badly to previous vaccines, just be aware that mini-measles is a possibility. My ds got that when he had the MMR at a similar age to your dd. He was very ill (basically, most of the symptoms of measles but without the potential for the serious side-effects from them).

It's not a serious illness but is unpleasant. If you wouldn't go away if she had a virus involving high temperature and general grottiness, maybe ask your doctor how long it takes for the mini-measles to kick in and play it by ear based on that.

My ds was fine afterwards. Neither of my other two reacted to the MMR at all.

Mumofkids · 01/05/2018 09:50

I have 2 autistic children and the traits were evident early on so I delayed MMR until age 4 as I felt strongly by then that I 'knew' my child.
My youngest had it earlier at 18 months because someone staying with us and into contact with measles so I had it done very quickly 🤣.
None of my children had any side effects from it, the men B one was far worse.

Mumofkids · 01/05/2018 10:03

Ooh sorry meant to add my eldest (with asd) had a bad reaction to his 8 week injections.

MorningsEleven · 01/05/2018 10:11

You do know that ASD is inherited and nothing to do with MMR?

Both my kids are vaccinated. One is ASD; the other, who was desperately ill as a baby, is NT.

QuilliamCakespeare · 01/05/2018 10:14

Both mine have had MMR with no problems at all. The youngest was a bit grumpy/had a temp about a week later but also had a snotty nose so it may have been coincidence.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you this but the the MMR/Austism study was absolute fictional bollocks. I've had mumps and it was bloody awful, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Enoughnowplease · 01/05/2018 10:22

Both of mine had MMR, they were absolutely fine.
DS1 has autism, DS2 does not and I knew about DS1’s autism before DS2 had the vaccine.
Never hesitated to give it to DS2. I can clearly trace back through family where DS2’s autism came from.
There is no way it came from a vaccine, it’s absolutely a fundamental part of who he is.

Boatsnack3 · 01/05/2018 10:23

My dd(9) also had her mmr delayed due to ill health. She has an undiagnosed muscle condition that affects her respiratory function. We had just started the road to diagnosis around 10months so we delayed the vaccine. She had the vaccine at 2 and had absolutely no side effects.

Enoughnowplease · 01/05/2018 10:25

Sorry, can trace where DS1’s autism came from. DS2 does not have autism

GummyGoddess · 01/05/2018 10:51

I already had autism before having the MMR at the age of 19. You will not find a single case where an adult has had the MMR and then all of a sudden 'turned autistic'.

I also find it slightly upsetting that people would rather risk the life of their child by not vaccinating them than end up with someone like me.

Enoughnowplease · 01/05/2018 10:53

GummyGoddess. Very well put.

TheHonSaucyJane · 01/05/2018 11:15

I was very nervous about it, esp after DD had a nasty local reaction (nothing serious but v painful for her) to the men b jab.

She barely noticed the MMR. Cried at the time and then it was as if nothing at all had happened. 🤞🏻 it goes smoothly for your little one.

WhatisaNarwhal · 01/05/2018 11:19

@gummy

Oh dear- no no I don’t think that at all. If DD were autistic (and of course at 2 there’s still the potential for this to become apparent down the line) I wouldn’t think it “a fate worse than death” so to speak! Neurotypical or not, she’s my DD and perfect as she is.

My cousin is autistic- not able to live independently, has had periods of extreme regression etc- and I a) don’t think the mmr caused it, and b) love him exactly as he is too.

What I DO think is that there is the potential for vaccine injury - not just neurological damage- and that’s what I’m worried about.

And it’s an irrationally weighty worry, because I have a MH issue- that’s what I’ve come here to be reminded of- not to suggest that I find the prospect of an autistic child horrifying, at all.

OP posts:
TheHonSaucyJane · 01/05/2018 11:24

Vaccine damage is possible, which is why it is a bit nerve racking giving vaccines, but it is very very rare. Complications from measles and mumps and rubella are not!

I was so sick with measles as a child that I ended up in hospital with encephalitis, and I do wonder whether it caused my poor eyesight, as nobody else in my family needed glasses before about 45. My best friend is stone deaf in one ear from having mumps as a child. Those diseases are NOT innocuous rites of childhood passage; they are evil bastards!

Cutesbabasmummy · 01/05/2018 11:27

My husband is on the autistic spectrum and didn't have the vaccine. Our son is 3 and had the vaccine and is definitely not on the autistic spectrum. Just do it OP. It's scary but necessary x

Cutesbabasmummy · 01/05/2018 11:27

Oh and my son also had varicella as part of an NHS trial with no side effects and he had the experimental version.

GummyGoddess · 01/05/2018 12:19

@WhatisaNarwhal I know you didn't mean it like that, don't worry. I hate taking dc to be vaccinated as it's upsetting for everyone and I know you just want reassurance. As I said above, dc1 didn't seem to care, it was more upsetting for me and DH than him.

I wanted to point out what the anti vax brigade are basically saying as I don't think they've really thought through the implications. Every time I read something from them about avoiding autism it just screams that they would rather an ill (or worse) child than me. I think I'm doing OK, I have a job, friends, a DH, dc1 and dc2 on the way. Autism hasn't stopped any of that.

Redrosebelle · 01/05/2018 13:55

Yes there’s a potential for a ‘vaccine injury’ if you have the jab, there are side effects with every drug. Read the label of a box of paracetamol from the supermarket and you’ll see a hundred risks.
The risk of losing your child to a preventable disease is surely worse!