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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WOHP's - how much time do you get with your DC's?

15 replies

Hooli · 30/04/2018 19:50

I've just been offered a new job which will cut my commute from 90 minutes to less than 10. They also offer flexible working which means I can finish at 4pm and be home 10 mins later.

For content, I sometimes don't get home til 6.00/6.30/7.00pm due to trains and DD is just about going to bed then.

However, current job lets me compress my hours so I only work four days.

I'm so tempted to take this job. It's more money and would give me back my evenings, but is it worth giving up a day with DD?

OP posts:

NotUmbongoUnchained · 30/04/2018 19:52

I pretty much just see them at weekends.

DuchyDuke · 30/04/2018 19:55

I bet the new job will offer compressed hours too, even if its not advertised.

calilark · 30/04/2018 20:01

I see dd for an hour in the morning, then I am home around 5.30 most nights (4.30 finish nornally) and she goes to bed at 7. O try to make sure I am home for 6.30 but yes I mainly see her at weekends.

Brokenbiscuit · 30/04/2018 20:01

I see my dd loads tbh, despite working full time. I'm usually there when she leaves for school in the morning (around 8ish) and pick her up from school after school 3 times a week (5pm on two days, 4.30pm on others - she chooses to do after school activities on these days). I work late twice a week when she does evening activities. Only see her for half an hour at the end of the day on those nights, but tbh, I wouldn't see her much on those days anyway as she is busy.

RoughPatchMum · 30/04/2018 20:42

I work full time. I see DS for around 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening on work days. It helps that he commutes with me and goes to nursery near my work - that’s 45 mins each way so an extra 1.5 hours a day with him

PinkbicyclesinBerlin · 30/04/2018 20:44

I’ve 15 weeks holidays but outside of that evenings and weekends. DP works at home though so they are sick of the sight of us. If I were you I would cut down the commute and take the new job.

QforCucumber · 30/04/2018 20:46

Ds is 2. Drop him off at 8:15am. So 1.5 ish hours on a morning. I'm home for 5:30, dp has already picked him up at 5. He goes to bed at 7:30. That's Monday to Friday. (May stay up until 8ish Friday) and all weekend.

Goldenbear · 30/04/2018 20:54

I work in Data protection across a few schools so I don't get the same holiday entitlement as teachers but it's pretty good so see them a lot in the school holidays, I pick them up every day but leave at 6. 30 am 4 days a week and so never see them in the morning on those days. It is great but I am up very early as a result of the early start and don't think they always get the best out of me in the evenings as a result.

Daftmare · 30/04/2018 20:58

How old is your DD? I think it would nice to get home earlier and then you'd have time to play with her and then book and eat with her if that suited you. Although on the other hand if she's at school you might love having that day off in the week.....really difficult one!

Daftmare · 30/04/2018 20:58

Cook sorry! Not book

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/04/2018 21:01

One morning a week
5 evenings a week (albeit of varying quality if we are tired )
2 full days

I do miss them on a Monday if we had a nice Sunday - sometimes

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/04/2018 21:02

It’s more money so maybe a no brainer ?
I’d love that day off though ...

Not helpful !

Wellthisunexpected · 30/04/2018 21:03

I get Flexi, so work full time but often get to work early (I don't see the benefit of DS getting an extra 20minutes with us, but it gets me to work 30mins early, I then do a short lunch and get 45 mins Flexi each day. I build it up and get a day off every 2-3 weeks which is nice.

Other than that I get 90 minutes of an evening with DS and the weekend. I don't think it's too bad at all.

Goldenbear · 30/04/2018 21:04

I should add that as I flake around 6.30 I really feel very strongly about having them to myself after school. I want to spend time with them whilst I still have the energy and must admit to not loving playdates for this reason. I know it's healthy for them but I do point out to parents picking up that I am keen to see them before bed. The parents' who don't work out of the home either because they have laid back creative working lifestyles or because they don't woh at all get to do drop offs and pick ups and school stuff and just don't get it when you don't want to chat for 30 mins before bedtime as they see a lot more of their children.

iamyourequal · 30/04/2018 21:08

Can you give more information on the flexi time? If it’s a full flexi time policy like we have you might be able to start early some days and finish late and use these banked hours to take full days off. At my work you can take up to 2 days per month this way. I think the move would be worth it to save over an hours commute time each day and spend more time with your dd in the evenings.

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