To think my toddler is regressing?

[SinkGirl]

My twin boys are 19 months old.
Twin 1 was the bigger twin, spent two weeks in nicu
Twin 2 was much smaller and was diagnosed with a complex illness, spent two months in there

From an early age, twin 1 was further ahead physically while twin 2 was better at cognitive things. He was really into things like ball posting and shape sorting, and had more consonant sounds earlier on. He would copy me clapping and making specific noises or faces while twin 1 didn’t.

For the last few months I’ve been concerned as twin 1 has caught up and overtaken him on the cognitive side. Twin 2 has stopped clapping, stopped mimicking, stopped being able to concentrate on any toy and not interested in anything other than chewing on things and walking up and down the room. Neither have really progressed vocally for a while.

I don’t know whether he can’t do those things any more or whether he’s just not interested. He can’t / won’t stack blocks, he’s no longer interested in shape sorters, I’ve tried new toys etc, he’s just not interested.

Twin 1 Is progressing all the time, he’s amazing with Duplo and blocks for example. When they were younger twin 2 seemed so bright and alert, I’m starting to worry that something is going on. The only thing he’s interested in right now is messing with his feet, toes, nose and ears, and running up and down. Eating anything he can find on floor. He does have a bad squint which has worsened in recent months but the consultant appt isn’t for another two months. He is still making eye contact and clearly he can see but I’m wondering if that could be the cause.

Is this normal? Anything I can do to engage him?

Is he still under any paediatricians? Otherwise I would have a word with hour health visitor about your worries and see what they say.

A bad squint does make all sorts of things more difficult, including eye contact and depth perception. I can see why you're concerned though, esp by the liss of things like mimicking. In your case I think Id start with the gp and ask for an appointment with a developmental paediatrian. That'll probably take some weeks to come through by which time you'll hopefully have seen the eye consultant. I'd also ask to have his hearing checked.

I think you're right to be concerned OP. Of course all babies progress at different rates, but it's worrying when he seems to have lost skills that he previously had and isn't replacing them with new skills. I'd make a GP appointment if I were you.

Definitely start with the GP as suggested, if he is concerned he may be able to get the consultant appointment bumped up a bit. At this age I think you must explore all medical avenues.

I am a piano teacher and I find teaching siblings comes with an additional challenge of handling sibling rivalry. Often the older one will start, progress well, then when the younger one starts learning the older one stops trying so hard as they are jealous of having to share their hobby. On the rare occasions the younger one progresses to overtake the older one the older one often can't cope and gives up.

Honestly I think your twins are too young for this to happen but its worth keeping in the back of your mind.

Good luck

How is his communication? Is he paying attention when you talk? Does he point at things? Does he take turns in conversation (even if he doesn’t then “speak”) ? Does he attempt sounds? I ask because if you have concerns in that area in most areas you can self refer to the Speech Therapy team and that opens another avenue to contact a professional that can provide you with insight into whether to wait or start intervention.

Definately make a GP appointment. Losing skills can be a sign of a developmental delay/autism as can the repetitive pacing and walking up and down and no interest in toys preferring sensory play. My youngest has autism and didnt play at the normal developing stages.
Ask for an appointment with a developmental paediatrician. It may well be nothing to worry about but these referrals can take time to come through so this will give you more time to see how he gets on and what progress he makes.

Thanks everyone. He’s still under the paed. He was under an OT but they discharged him at the start of February as he had just started walking as therefore hit all the milestones they expected. But pretty much since then he’s stopped playing with toys and just wanders around.

He doesn’t point but neither of them do. He has several consonant sounds but doesn’t use them specifically (not especially worried about this as twins are usually behind vocally). He engages well with us - smiles, makes eye contact, laughs if we throw him in the air, grins if we sing and he babbles constantly.

I just really can’t tell if it’s that he can’t do those things any more or that he just doesn’t want to. For example, earlier I got his favourite toy out (quite a complicated shape sorter) - he picked up a shape and immediately went to put it in the right hole but then it was like he just lost interest in it and wandered off again.

He loves a couple of CBeebies programmes and will grin and sometimes laugh at some of the visual comedy, plus he can spot a breadstick crumb and pick it up at ten paces so I know he can see. If I move my finger towards his face he bats it out of the way so I know his depth perception is okay.

Like I say it just seems like he’s no longer interested in anything rather than he’s not able to. Right now he’s sticking a wooden spoon between his toes and eating the Rice Krispies I tried to use for some messy play (took them away as they just ate them!).

I really don’t know if I’m overreacting due to anxiety or if something is wrong.

A GP appointment would be a good start. They will hopefully refer you to a community paediatrician who will spend some time assessing your child.

Best of luck!

Is he teething? Going through a growth spurt? Physical catch up sometimes makes kids regress.

Take him to the GP with a list of your concerns. I did when my son regressed and he was put through for further testing. If it is something early interventions always produce the best outcome

Thank you everyone. I guess deep down I was hoping everyone would say I’m overreacting due to anxiety and this is normal. If it’s not then obviously I need to do something about it. Fortunately we are seeing his paed on Thursday so I’m going to ask to go back and see the lovely OT - I know she will give it to me straight.

I’ve always expected him to be behind his brother after a difficult start but in some ways he seemed brighter when they were small. I don’t know if he’s just in a phase where he’s exploring physically because he’s come along so much physically between Christmas and February time, and now hes exploring what he can do, or whether there’s a problem. One minute I think he must be fine because he’s so alert and happy and sociable etc, and other times I think this can’t be right. He’s had such a horrible time with his health, such a brave and happy boy. It’s killing me to think he’s struggling.

This happened to my son around that age, he has since been diagnosed with autism. It may be nothing but definitely worth mentioning to your health visitor and gp.

Hi, I’m a Paediatrician. I would recommend that you ask for a referral to a community (neurodevelopmental) Paediatrician, or at least speak to your own consultant about you worries. Hope all is ok but better to be checked.

Thank you Kitty.

Is there anyone who’s experienced a phase like this and they’ve been okay? I’m really scared right now.

Beyond the good advice above all I can add is that we adopted and our child regressed in walking, eating and speaking. Regression is v common in adoption but it was still hard to deal with and we mainly recognised it in hindsight but what I will say is that DC caught up on all of them and there is no lasting effect in our case so hopefully even if there is some regression there it is not long term.

Thank you NC - that’s reassuring

I’ve just been talking to my DH and I just feel so confused about it all. I don’t know what to think and it’s so difficult having a twin who’s progressing further because even though I don’t want to compare them or expect them to be the same, it’s sort of impossible not to compare them.

Part of me thinks a lot of it is quite normal and when I think hard I do see progression (eg in the last few days he’s enjoyed walking with his eyes closed, and walking backwards and I remember his brother doing the same). He’s also developing god spatial awareness (taught himself to climb down from the sofa safely, knows how to get through small gaps, out from under tables etc) But then I think, he’s not just occasionally chewing on an item, he has something in his mouth constantly. And everything is he engaged by right now is sensory - playing with his feet, sticking things in his nose and ears etc. I tried to get him to walk on the grass with bare feet earlier and he wouldn’t move, he didn’t like it at all. He does have a condition which means we have to stab his feet every day and that’s been happening since he was born so I wonder if that’s related, and I have a lot of guilt around him being separated from us so long in hospital. Neither of them were cuddly for a long time but now they both love cuddles. He laughs and smiles at us all the time, especially if you sing to him or tickle him. I’m just going back and forth really.

Go with your instinct and get him checked. Without knowing your DTs well, it’s very hard to know what is and what isn’t a possible issue.

It could be that constantly chewing things is related to teething and DGD was most troubled by the feel of grass under her bare feet for quite a time, But if there is any question in your mind that there might be a regression, for your own peace of mind, it needs looking into.

I definitely will - I will speak to his consultant and ask to be referred back to developmental therapy as they know their stuff.

The pair of them used to interact a lot and then stopped around their first birthday but I read that this was totally normal. The last couple of days twin 2 has tried to give twin 1 cuddles which is a huge thing. But then I have video of him about 10 months old copying me clapping and making loads of noises and he won’t do that at all. Until a couple of weeks ago he would repeat Dada but he’s not doing that either, but then he’s started saying mama more often and sometimes it seems deliberate.

I’m just doubting myself I guess because I’ve suffered with anxiety since they were born and he was so unwell. Maybe I’m looking for problems that aren’t there.

Definately speak to the paediatrician. As you say they know what they are looking for. It could be normal development him exploring things in a sensory way. My son with autism showed similar things at that age. Always barefoot and exploring things with his feet. He would push things round with his feet like ice skating and was always putting things in his mouth. He is now 10 and in lessons in a mainstream school bit still eats non food items - Pica and also is always barefoot and will bang things with his feet.
Any regression should be investigated. Hope you can get some reassurance from the appointment.

Totally understandable that after they were so unwell that your anxiety has persisted. I was on ‘red alert’ for DDs first few years. But anxiety or not if you have any doubts then talking it over with their paediatrician is a very good idea.

I would write a list of your concerns between now and the appointment enshrined way you won’t forget anything

I agree with others that you should get him checked out.

However, my dd went through a phase a few months ago of not being interested in any of her toys. She would get them out, and then lose interest almost immediately, or just throw them around instead of playing. She’s 25 months now and is back to being interested in things again. She was teething a lot at the time, so that might explain it.

Everything crossed for you.

I too would raise this with the paediatrician.

Just wanted to add that if it was ASD it would not be the end of the world. Lots of children with ASD appear sociable, are alert etc.

I definitely know that and didn’t mean to imply that’s not the case, I was just trying to give a good picture of what’s happening.

If he has ASD it’s absolutely not the end of the world. It’s just a) he’s already had such a hard time and the thought of him having yet more things to deal with crushes me and b) the not knowing exactly what’s going on is triggering my anxiety.

The condition he has can cause neuro damage and although this is very unlikely in his case because he was diagnosed and treated very early, and because he was developing a bit slowly but well up until recently, it’s another thing the little voice in my head keeps throwing at me.

I would speak to your paed asap. Regression can def be a sign of ASD, but as others have said, that’s not the end of the world.