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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset?

14 replies

Humbyhumby · 29/04/2018 23:12

Friend came down this weekend but staying with family. I had work to do but said I would see her as much as I could. We went for drinks yest and had plans to go for brunch today. Both v easygoing but live far away so can’t see each other as much as we would like. Anyway she messaged at half ten to plan where to meet. I saw the message about an hour later and immediately replied/called and texted regularly to plan. Heard nothing until 3, when she said she had got distracted playing with nephew but let’s still meet. Then chit chat until 4, I say I’m out in town and can she let me know whether we are meeting as I have to do work still. Obviously keen to see her. Then hear back at 6 - she says that my messages have only just come through and that they are now at the station but she loves/misses me. Had figured by this pint we wouldn’t be meeting so called family for a chat and gone food shopping. Would aibu to say to her, I get that you were busy and we hadn’t made concrete plans but next time can you let me know earlier whether you can fit me in so I can plan my day around the work I have to do? Quite annoyed as I have important exams coming up and lost a whole day due to faffing

OP posts:
Original poster
Humbyhumby · 29/04/2018 23:13

She was down with her new dp who I like but I’m her closest friend and feel a bit embarrassingly jealous now that he got to spend the weekend with her, while I was waiting for a text

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 29/04/2018 23:15

Of course you're upset, but if it's a new relationship, I can understand why she didn't prioritise you on this visit.

What are the phone signals like where she was? If they're rubbish, then that explains it too.

Original poster
Humbyhumby · 29/04/2018 23:16

They’re fine, she was at a relatives house and her phone was charging. Maybe on tube they were less good

OP posts:
Original poster
Humbyhumby · 29/04/2018 23:16

It’s not that new - they see each other v often and about 9 months in

OP posts:
motorpink · 29/04/2018 23:19

Sounds like she was pissed off becauer she text at 1030 to make plans for the lunch you agreed on and you didn't answer until an hour later.

Perhaps the 'can you let me know sooner so I can make plans' works both ways

AornisHades · 29/04/2018 23:19

Tbh if I messaged someone about brunch plans at 10.30 and didn't get a response for an hour I would assume I'd been blown out.

Original poster
Humbyhumby · 29/04/2018 23:20

She definitely wasn’t pissed off! We both are quite easygoing so I don’t think that was the issue. And we hadn’t agreed a time

OP posts:
Returnofthesmileybar · 29/04/2018 23:21

Yabu, it was you who threw the original plans out by the late reply in the first place

FASH84 · 29/04/2018 23:21

You are both as flaky as each other, you knew she was around this morning for brunch and wanted to meet but you weren't exactly keeping an eye on your phone around the time you'd educt to go back to brunch. Next time just say I'm available from 1-4 or whatever and let's meet at this place. This is six of one half a dozen of the other, except she's fine about it

FASH84 · 29/04/2018 23:22

*around the time you'd expect to go to brunch

MuddlingMackem · 29/04/2018 23:23

AornisHades Sun 29-Apr-18 23:19:48

Tbh if I messaged someone about brunch plans at 10.30 and didn't get a response for an hour I would assume I'd been blown out.

If a friend needed an instant response I would expect her to phone, I'm not glued to my mobile and I'm more likely to hear it ringing than I am to hear a text notification if I"m not right next to it.

So, OP, you should both have been phoning each other, not texting, so YW both U.

Botanicbaby · 29/04/2018 23:23

If you'd planned to have brunch together today then I think you left it a bit late to reply to her 10.30 text an hour or so later. After that it was likely just not going to happen as she was seeing family etc. The brunch window was over...

I think a quick phone call is best if either of you are in a crap signal area where texts may not get through and you've only got that one day to meet.

Returnofthesmileybar · 29/04/2018 23:24

You're not that easy going clearly if your quite annoyed, maybe next time arrange a time, chalk it down to experience till then, don't say it as you did above though because ultimately it is your own fault and it just sounds shitty

motorpink · 29/04/2018 23:24

She definitely wasn’t pissed off! We both are quite easygoing so I don’t think that was the issue.

But you are not, you are asking AIBU to be upset. About her doing to you what you did to her earlier in the day Confused

Playground stuff really.

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