My BPD ex gave me a ring, now he wants to dictate what I do with it?

[GreenlightBluelight]

My ex, who I worked out (through some extraordinarily painful times) has borderline personality disorder. Whilst we were together he bought me a very pretty ring, not expensive, a kind of 'friendship' ring. I gave him one too although he threw it away in a fit of pique one day. Anyway, we're now separated and it's sort-of amicable - at least right at this minute it is. The trouble is, we're work colleagues in a small business. He told me today that I'm no longer to wear the ring he gave me as it's like 'I'm trying to draw him back in'. He said it's like we've got divorced but I'm still wearing my wedding ring. I really love this ring, it's so pretty. I understand taking it off to save his feelings but I also feel a bit pissed I'm being dictated to. Aibu? And if I am, how do I get rid of my hurt feelings being told to take it off?

Is this a battle you really need to fight? You’ve split up, so tbh why would you want to wear the ring in his presence, particularly since it has emotional significance for you both? Just wear it when you’re not with him if you like it so much. I’m not even going near the BPD stuff. Unless you’re a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist you can’t diagnose a personality disorder (it takes them a couple of years).

I don't think you should still be wearing the ring when the relationship is over. Give it back or donate to charity.

Stop wearing it for a while till he’s moved on.

Tell him you'll stop wearing the ring when he finds and returns the ring he threw away.

He is a controlling twat, wear the ring every day.

I don’t see why anyone thinks this man, who is no longer in a relationship with OP, should be able to dictate what she wears while she panders to him.

When I divorced my ex for a while I wore one of my rings on my right hand. No, we didn’t work together but it wouldn’t have a blind bit of difference if we had. It was my ring. On my hand. If he’d tried to stop me wearing it I’d have told him to fuck off.

Personally, I would avoid wearing the ring at work - it wouldn't be worth the aggravation. It would be there to wear at weekends, or daily in future if one or the other of us moved on to a new job. Pick your battles, OP - this one isn't worth it.