AIBU and need to wind neck in or is this CF

[IsitMe20]

Name change as not sure I'm just being a grumpy mare and don't want to be outed if I'm being a twat.
Today out and about usual weekend chore catch up /kids hobbies, DH with other DC but has been on call and still is so at home but may need to dash off.
While I'm out get voicemail from friend /potential C.F., "Hi Isit, me and DP have gone to BigTown, DC are at home, have told them to call you or friend B if they need anything".
Friends 3 DC are aged between 14 -11, area of where they (parents) are in BigTown is 1.5 hours from us by public transport.
No mention of any other arrangements for anyone looking after their DC.
This AIBU isn't about they fact they have left their DC that's up to them, but AIBU at the fact they have fucked off 1.5 hours away and merrily left me a message to say basically btw me and DP have gone on a jolly, keep an eye on kids for us, without any thought that actually DH and I have got enough on.
Admittedly my and DHs line of work make us cautious and may be clouding my thinking, but are far from helicopter parents.
So AIBU and need to get a grip or is it really taking the piss.
It doesn't sit comfortably with me as I now feel responsible for someone elses kids without actually agreeing to it.

I don't think yabu. I'd be tempted to reply along the lines of 'sorry, won't be able to help in an emergency, things on here'. Be vague, so they can,t 'trump' your thing with a real emergency, but i agree - CF.

No, you’re not! Text them back and tell them you’re not available as have other commitments this evening and to get their DC to call them if they have an issue. They are CF’s, and negligent, to boot! If the 14yo isn’t capable of being left in charge...

I don't think they're being that unreasonable tbh.

They've left their kids home alone for the afternoon - fine, given the ages of the kids, assuming they're sensible.

They've given their kids a couple of numbers to call in case of an emergency - sensible.

They've let you know that you're one of the names on the list - good.

Yes, they should have asked you beforehand, but I'm sure you would have said yes, wouldn't you? After all you don't have to actually do anything unless you get a call, which will only be if something goes wrong (in which case I assume you wouldn't mind helping).

However, if you're not happy about this, by all means tell your friend you'd rather not be on the list next time.

This is not acceptable. You should have texted to say tough, we are in big town B, you are on your own

They absolutely are CFs not to ask you before doing this. I would also go with 'sorry, can't help today'.

I would have just text them and said that’s fine but I’m busy myself today so fingers crossed they won’t need anything. Yes it’s cheeky and they should have asked you first if you minded being their emergency contact but as long as they know it’s no good calling you for anything less than an emergency it’s not worth getting too riled about. At 14-11 the kids are old enough to be on their own for a few hours.

Would people really refuse to help out a friend's child in an emergency?!

They haven't told their dc to go to yours for you to look after or asked you to give up your day etc only asked them to ring in an emergency hardly CFuckery!

Thanks for replies.
Hope this doesn't count as dripfeed as didn't want to make OP too long.
To clarify I did reply back when I got message this morning that I was not around and DH on call, however they had already left.
They are not back yet afaik and my DH has now been called out so I'm home with my DC.
I think I'm just annoyed at the presumption that it would be fine.
Thanks again for some extra perspective

Munch of course I would help in an emergency , my aibu wasn't "aibu to tell my friends kids to fuck off as she's broken her leg , mum's not in and I've got shopping to do" .
It was aibu that i'm miffed they've buggered off out and then told me they've left the kids at home when I'm already up to my eyes in it.
I'm not sure why it's irked me hence asking if I was being stroppy.

I agree OP. Wanting a kid free day out is not an emergency. I'm sure you would do your best if the kids really needed you but you shouldn't have been put in that position without being asked. Definitely CF territory.

Cheeky fuckery at its best.

So they've just got back. I've had a think and been honest with myself, I don't think it was just the presumption that I would be around and no thought to what DH and I were doing, I think it didn't sit well because deep down I've been a bit judgy as I wouldn't have done it, not just the btw I'm off told the kids to call you if they need anything, but the off out for what has turned into the whole day.
Trip to supermarket fine, a fairly local bite to eat for a couple of hours okay.
However that's just my opinion which is actually irrelevant, therefore I'm going with not my circus not my monkeys..
Thanks again for all points of view.

itsme sorry that wasn't aimed at you, it was at other poster who were saying for you to tell your friends you can't help, when in reality you would literally be only helping if there was an emergency.

isitme

Ah apologies Munch I seem to be super stroppy tonight. Shuffles off in search of camomile tea and darkened room before poor DH gets home

@munch as one who suggested telling CF's that i wouldn't be available to help, i meant (and i'm guessing the other posters did too) that i would tell that to the parents, to make a point that they shouldn't assume i was always available), not that in an emergency, if the dc rang, i wouldn't help them out...of course you would help out children in trouble if you could

yetAnother I knew what you meant, when I replied I did say me and DC were out and about and not really in a position to help.
I just think that if you're planning to go out of town from morning to evening (their prerogative if they think their kids will be okay) that you should ask the person you want to deal with an emergency in your absence if they a) mind and b) are actually around.
Not just piss off and casually let said person know as an afterthought