To not want my husband to go for a new job

[Jordan4531]

I'm 13 weeks pregnant and my husband has just applied for a new job. He's happy at the one he's at but the new one is a bit closer, less hours and more money. Honestly it would be perfect, except he won't get his paternity leave because he won't have been working long enough with the new company. He said he won't go for it if they call him and it makes me unhappy but in the long run it would be better, he would be home more and see our children more and earn more money. I'm just scared in case I need a c-section or have a difficult birth and need his help at home after labour and he can't get the time off to help me because he's started a new job

You need to think about the long term here. The new job sounds much better, so let him apply and if he gets it you can figure out how to deal with the paternity leave thing nearer the time. I'm sure he'd be able to take annual leave or unpaid leave.

I think you just need some time to get your head around it, it sounds much better in the long run and he can take a week or two of holiday at the time to help, keep focusing on the long term and you’ll be fine.

I think you need look at this objectively tbh. Paternity leave is such a minor thing to reject a new job over.

Another for what Mannix said.
Long term is so much more important for all of you.

Paternity leave is an unreasonably short amount of time anyway, what is it like a couple of weeks?? I think you can put up with that for the greater benefits in the long run

YABU he can just take annual leave surely. Lots of companies are quite flexible as well with regards to qualifying periods for stuff.

That's what I was thinking, I said to him to take it for the long term benefits and he would be here to help me get the kids dressed for school etc. before he had to leave. Thank you for helping me put it into perspective, it would only be 2 weeks paternity he would have anyway and that's not a lot and our mother's and literally about 10 doors away either side so they will help if I need it

Paternity is only two weeks anyway. He can just book annual leave.
Seriously, the long term benefit of this job sounds like it massively outweighs the paternity aspect. They may even throw it into the package if he gets offered the job.

Cross posted with everyone!

Could he not just use his holidays after the baby is born. You need to think long term. I think he'd be crazy to turn down the job for the sake of a bit of leave.

If they like him and want him he may be able to negotiate it anyway before he formally accepts - I would think they would be OK giving something like this as it's a one off thing

Thank you all, I was just panicking if I had to stay in hospital or something similar and we had our other children to care for. Paternity leave it a minor aspect you're all absolutely right!

Another who thinks the long term is what you need to focus on. Paternity is two weeks. Even if he can't get it as paternity leave then he should be able to get some time off/holiday.

Think about how every day he will be home earlier to help with the baby. You will also have more money and less commuting expenses if it's closer so more money to make your maternity pay go further.

I think you'd be stupid not to take it if he gets it tbh. If he gets it he will already have been earning more for 5 months by the time the baby is here which will help offset any loss if he needs to take unpaid leave. Any decent company is not going to refuse him any leave at all around the birth of his child.

If you have other kids then him being able to help with them in mornings will be invaluable as you get further through your pregnancy. It also sounds like you have family very close by. There are zero reasons to refuse the job imo. I hope he gets it.

My husband got a job offer when I was 30 weeks pregnant. Told them on the phone when he got an offer, then negotiated a pay rise and a week’s paid leave then two days annual leave and ‘working frome home’ for five more days. So it’s doable!

My DH took a week of holiday and persuaded them to give him a week of unnpaid leave when my 2nd DC was born - he was also new to the job. Could your DH do similar?

Good luck with it.

He could just take it unpaid or as aL

He should be allowed time off, even if it is without pay. I don't know many firms that will not allow pre-booked holidays or commitments like that when taking on a new employee in this day and age.
Does he have any days holiday in hand from the current company? In which case I would suggest he keeps those in hand as much as possible so he gets paid holiday OR gets the time off before moving to the new job - in which case he could potentially have extra cash as holiday pay, or start earlier in the new job, meaning when you are in labour he can afford to have unpaid leave.
Really would,IMO, be daft for him not to apply. .

Think long term. He can also discuss with the new company and arrange to take two weeks unpaid or annual leave in place of paternity, or even his parental leave entitlement.

He should DEFINITELY take the job.

If his manager likes him, he’ll let him use his holiday or allow him to work from home instead of paternity leave. We offer similar things at my company for new starters, so don’t worry!