My mums weird obsession and fierce loyalty to her favourite shop!!

[BossyPaws]

My mum has always had this weird fascination with whatever her favourite shop is at the time. So first one was Netto ...

Conversations would be like:

"Oh that sounds nice, did you get it in netto?"
Me: no, Tesco
"Oh, I don't like Tesco, I don't know why you won't shop in netto, don't you like it there?"
Me: "I've just never been in"
"Why? Why won't you try it? It's not all cheap stuff you know! I don't know why you don't try it!"

then she discovered Morrisons

"Have you ever bought these from Morrisons? They're lovely!"
Me: "no"
"Why? What's wrong with Morrisons?? Why won't you try it?"
Me: "there isn't one near me"
"Well we'll pick you up and take you!"
"No point, I have Tesco on the doorstep"
"Oh Tesco! I would never shop there, hate it, can't stand it, even if it was next door I wouldn't shop there! Morrisons is brilliant, shall we take you at weekend?"

Now it's Aldi ... constantly going on and on about Aldi, questioning everyone why they don't shop there, questioning other people's shopping decisions, insisting on trying Aldi produce, banging on and on about Aldi in every conversation :

Me: "I did that 5k race at weekend!"
Mum: "oh we went shopping, took your aunty Brenda but she won't go in Aldi, I don't know why, I told her ... " this went on for about 20 minutes.

A couple of days later
"Guess what! We went into town and Brenda and guess where she shopped?! Aldi!! Ha! I told her it was good stuff and she wouldn't have it! I said to her "I thought you didn't shop at Aldi!" Just goes to show doesn't it!!"

Ffs who cares!

She's also obsessed with other people showing loyalty to a certain shop -

"Did you get them in Tesco? Because that's where you shop isn't it? Do you like Tesco? You must do you always seem to be in there!"

Then I switched to ASDA and my god you would've thought I'd switched religion

"Asda??? You went to ASDA??? How come? Why not Tesco?? Have you fallen out with Tesco now? So do you only shop at Asda now?"

It's so frustrating because every fucking conversation is dominated by it. If I'm talking to her I can't mention that I popped into Morrisons/coop/Tesco (god forbid Tesco) as the conversation will change entirely to shops and where everyone she knows shops. I'm actually avoiding talking to her because of these frustrating obsessions.

My aunt said recently that she has always thought my mum was autistic but never diagnosed because of the times they grew up up - could she have a point?

It's frustrating but also mind boggling how obsessed she is about such menial things

I have to admit I do have a bit of a penchant for the supermarkets .

Mainly the difference between them all (even though they ultimately do the same thing) but this is probably down to my job, I deal with all but 1 of the U.K. chains, day in, day out in a very specialised industry.

In terms of this thread, I think it will be a generational thing, loyalty used to mean something, and meant a great deal, now not so much.

Also, even though we now have more actual stores, there are less brands, there are the “big 4”, along with the others we have. But just 15 years or so back, you had a ton of different others that are now gone. So it’s probably a case people have fewer companies to be loyal to (drone on about).

The TV thing is definitely a throwback to the days of 4 channels. My parents have Netflix but my mum will say "We're watching that Miserable Detective Investigates on BBC, are you?" and I want to point out we haven't watched weekly live TV for about 5 years; we don't still buy the TV Times like they do so I had no clue the show existed!

My mum is just like yours op and she drives me insane!! But I think it's because shes bored shitless and has a very closed mind.

Her latest issue is my cousins wedding... they are getting married in a registry office a few weeks before their wedding that we're all invited to. And will have a blessing on the day of the wedding where the reception is being held. She will not stop correcting anyone and everyone who mentions the wedding that it's "not a proper wedding". She's baffled why they aren't doing it "properly". "Trust them, it's typical isn't it"...

Drives me batshit she really does!!!

My MIL is a bit like this and I’ve always thought she was on the spectrum.

My nan is kind of like the opposite to this. She used to shop at the local co-op until it took over the local post office and now its the scum of the earth! Not only does she boycott it, and bad mouth it to everyone, but she won’t touch anything that has been bought there.

Instead she gets a lift with a relative (who she has converted to ASDA) for a 40 min round trip for her weekly shop and any bits in between!

Where on Earth are the cheap nice shoes in Primark? I go in and the overwhelming stench of plastic and glue hits me in the face!

loyalty used to mean something, and meant a great deal, now not so much.

Loyalty is obviously important, to your friends, spouse, or your employer maybe. But why should you be to loyal one corporate fatcat supermarket owner over another? I thought budgeting and shopping around would be more of an old-school value.

I have a few nice things from Primark, but only the ones I've got off ebay! I can never find anything I like when I actually go in.

My MIL has recently started telling me when her Tesco delivery is due, then she tells me when it has been delivered and she also tells me if she’s shopped at any other shops recently. I casually mentioned that I might get a shopping delivery some time and she said, “What day will you have it delivered?” Don’t know. “What time will you have it delivered?” Don’t know. I find it most odd.

Oh this has just made my heart burst a bit. Your lovely mum and her tiny little life. Totally get why itd annoy the shit out of you though!

I think it's a safety thing for some older people. The world is changing so much and must be unrecognisable to many. So when they venture out they go somewhere familiar, usually at the same time every week, to keep some semblance of normality and stability. Also because being retired and not doing much must just be fucking boring.

Oh my mum does the soaps thing too. And the endless talk about work colleagues lives eg one has just got a puppy, one's Mrs has just gone part time etc as if they're my dearest friends! I suspect she bores her work colleagues with the tiny details of her kids and grandkids lives too.

I find it exhausting.

Interesting as I've often wondered if she's on the autistic spectrum. She definitely struggles with social interaction. We do have autism in our family.

My DH's grandparents used to love regaling us with tales of bumping into their acquaintances in restaurants and shops, amazed at what a 'small world it is'. They live in a small town in Devon, hardly a bustling metropolis!

My mum worries about taking plastic bags from other shops into a shop, eg, using Tesco bags in Sainsbury's...
She feels the need to mention it to the cashier and apologise. It drives me mad!!

She is as she is. Looks like its you who needs to work on your reactions to her.

I suspect that wittering on in a boring manner is actually more of a boring person thing than a retired person thing

Me too, and the same goes for SAHMs. I had a fairly interesting job as a development chemist but don't remember that when I was working anyone ever asked me to tell them more about my leaky HPLC or how there was a three week lead time on toluene so I'd taken the works' bike and gone and borrowed some off my mate who worked at the company next door

I used to be a volunteer visitor for Age Concern and my two ladies were great company, really interesting. Mind you these were people who wanted to invite a stranger to come in for tea and a chat once a week, people who were interested in people but whose mobility was such that they were becoming isolated. It's about having the curiosity about the world and the skill to communicate. I don't think people lose that.

@BlueUggs That isn't restricted to old people. DH in his early 30's will not use other shops bags either. He has several sets in his car so he can select the correct brand...

HollowTalk YABU for not watching Downton Abbey

On the other hand, do you watch GOT? if you do, ask your DM if she watches that .

OP my folks are the same
ironically we shop at Aldi

so when we have to shop for them, occasionally, and they want Persil and Kenco and Andrex my head always falls off at the price.

they don't go on about it, but they did when I first moved out - there wasn't Aldi back then but I would buy "essentials" or "basics" of everything and they were horrified, even squinting at the laundry and saying "but is it as good as Persil". I find it extraordinary - but brands have value for exactly this reason, some people just don't question them.

I don't think they'd ever buy non branded cereal either.

Haha OP, I am scared to admit it, but your mum sounds a bit like me! 😂

Oh my mum was like this with shops and TV shows and things. It's one of the things I miss about her actually. It was annoying at the time, you'd try to get a word in edgeways and she'd bring up something else totally irrelevant.v fcdx

She had a favourite greasy spoon, she had breakfast there every day. I always knew when they'd had menu changes or if they'd switched brands of sausages (scandal!), she'd ring me to tell me. The owner came to her funeral actually which was lovely and a bit funny. "How did you know her?" "I served her breakfast for six years; two sausages, egg, two toasts and a cup of tea"

It's funny that you should mention the autism bit at the end because I was reading it and thinking "yep - that's my Dad" - my Dad is 74 and quite definitely has ASD.

Like your mother, he's of a generation where these things were never diagnosed, although I gently brought up ASD to him a year or two ago and he has been very much struck.

I think learning about it has helped a lot because there have always been things that confused and distressed him (a particularly upsetting work incident many years ago in particular when he was frozen out of a senior role, for instance) and learning that there is almost certainly a neurological reason for how he has responded or was unable to respond to certain situations, rather than him just being stupid or failing at something (he's extremely intelligent but unable to take an interest in or read other people's feelings - not very helpful in a corporate setting) has helped him a lot I think.

But yes - he used to bring me his Aldi receipts to show me how much everything cost and how much the average item cost etc. etc. He could talk almost without limit about the relative cost/performance of Aldi dishwasher tablets (the result actually is that he buys Finish powerball tablets now and cuts them in half, in case you're interested....).

My MIL is obsessed by how much tins of tomatoes cost, and will go further to shop somewhere just because their tomatoes are 4p a tin cheaper than the nearest shop confused.

My Dad is like that about beer. He drinks very little, but for reasons unknown has taken a shine to Hobgoblin (ale?) and will NEVER TIRE of telling me that it's 6p cheaper in Waitrose than in Aldi because Waitrose and Aldi are having a price war. HOWEVER do not be sucked in by the price of Aldi eggs.... etc. etc. etc. OMG.

Oh OP thank you for posting this, it's brought back a wonderful memory of my DM who I recently lost and her absolute die-hard loyalty to Mark & Spencer over and above all others.

She only went into an Aldi once in her whole life.

I do hope they have M&S in heaven, she'll be having a blast.

My much loved MIL frequently asks me and DSIL (her other son's wife) if we shop at Tesco. We both do from time to time but we have an unspoken agreement whereby we always say we shop at Waitrose (which we also do sometimes). I have no idea why we do it.

My own Mum adored Waitrose but there wasn't one in her town (and she didn't drive). I could have wept for her when her local supermarket changed to a Waitrose about a month after she died. She would have died so happy knowing she had a Waitrose 250 yards from her house!

With my mum, its the Royal Family at the moment.

Any opportunity to start talking about it (and lets face it there are millions per day) she starts ...

I usually hold up my hand in a "stop" sign and say (for the 100th time) I'm "just not interested in the Royal Family, please don't talk about them" .

She does stop, just, and reluctantly maybe with a slight wicked chuckle

She never talks about shops though. However, we do like to have a mutual moan about their latest collections or occasional delight in something we've seen or bought there (I can't do this with my friends as they're all far too "cool" to buy anything in M&S).