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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly fed up with my birthdays

27 replies

QuestionableMouse · 29/04/2018 11:50

Have nothing to unwrap. Was 'given' money by my mam but not really - I owed her it for something and she told me to keep it. Friends haven't even bothered to wish me happy birthday. Its the same every year. I'm just fed up of it... I don't want a big flash gift but feeling like someone have a shit would be nice!

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 29/04/2018 11:58

Is it today or yesterday?

Happy Birthday FlowersCakeWineStarSmileBrew

I don't expect anything of my birthday, that way i'm not disappointed.

I have cut back greatly on birthdays for others, they get a card and small token gift (pretty notebook, handmade bag, phone cover, small jar of artisan honey - obv depending on the person!). I don't go out to birthday dinners or drinks, but i'll go to dinner/party in that person's house.

I know people are busy and birthday wishes slip through the cracks, so i'm not terribly offended.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 29/04/2018 12:01

Today thanks.

I know I'm probably being stupid but I'd have liked a small something to open. I'm not hard to buy for either!

OP posts:
dozydaisy23 · 29/04/2018 12:04

Happy Birthday! Have you got any plans for today? ThanksCakeWine

girlandboy · 29/04/2018 12:08

Well I can't give you a little gift but please accept my Birthday wishes!
Have a day that's just for you! Lazing around, or maybe a nice walk to somewhere and get yourself coffee and cake!

Happy Birthday!

TookyClothespin · 29/04/2018 12:12

Happy Birthday!
I've decided I'm going to stop celebrating mine. I put a lot of effort into family birthdays, then mine are always shit. I'll continue putting the effort in for others, but give up hoping someone DH would do the same for me.

MereDintofPandiculation · 29/04/2018 12:12

Trouble is, so many people have birthdays! If people forget yours or don't seem to do anything special, it doesn't mean they don't give a shit. Make it easy for them. Spell out to your nearest and dearest what is required (for me it's a proper cake with candles). You may have to initiate the birthday meal yourself - if you do, then you can produce a "birthday list" - I give my birthday list to my DH and trust him to make sure anyone interested has access to it. If there's something you'd really like that others wouldn't buy, buy it and wrap it for yourself - if you do this well in advance, you half forget about it, so although not a complete surprise on the day, it's still a little bit of a pleasure.

twomadefour · 29/04/2018 13:03

I'm exactly the same. No one cares, and no one bothers. Every year I'm disappointed.

Happy birthday though! And I've decided I'm not going to make an effort for anyone else's either.

Have a nice meal tonight and take over the tv. Make this week your birthday week and do something you enjoy everyday. 🎂

Poptart4 · 29/04/2018 13:21

Happy Birthday 🎂 🍷 :)

My birthdays were pretty crap until I took charge and started to arrange things myself. Not presents but I'd tell nearest and dearest I am going to X for dinner and drinks for my bday and they are welcome to come. And most do but if I didn't organise it myself then no one would bother.

Sometimes I arrange a day out shopping and lunch with friends. The day can be whatever YOU make it.

TV & movies always portray people's friends and families making a big deal out of their birthday's and doing something special for them. Real life just isn't like that for the majority of us and it can leave us feeling a bit unloved or like no one cares. Truth is people are just busy with their own lives, it doesn't mean they don't care.

SeaCabbage · 29/04/2018 13:55

Happy Birthday Smile

Who do you have around you to give you a gift? And why haven't they?

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 29/04/2018 13:58

Visiting my parents right now. Mam gave me money only not really. (she picked something up for me while in a shop I couldn't get to... I was going to transfer the money over but she said to keep it. So as not to drip feed, the something was windscreen wipers)

Sister is at work so haven't heard from her yet.

No idea about friends... None of them have been in touch.

OP posts:
Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 29/04/2018 13:59

Oh and thank you all. I've just ordered myself a Birch box which is something I've wanted to try for a while.

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 29/04/2018 14:06

Happy Birthday!

It's mine too today. No one seems bothered. I woke up feeling sick. Eldests son's girlfriend was supposed to join us this evening but can't make it, so he's in a mood. Youngest was at a sleepover last night and isn't home yet. As of 3pm, no cards, no presents, no birthday wishes. I think I'm going to hog the tv and have a glass of wine, then an early night.

Coralcolouredchrome · 29/04/2018 14:09

Next year just have a day in your jim jams, watch the television, eat chocolate til you feel sick, and have your favourite take away. I think it's probably up to you to make it special. Happy Birthday Flowers

fussychica · 29/04/2018 14:11

Happy BirthdayFlowersCakeWine to you & katedotness1963
I've had many a shitty birthdays for one reason or another. Treat yourself if no one else does and try to enjoy.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 29/04/2018 14:15

I'm so sorry your birthday is shit too. Its not fair, is it?

OP posts:
Lanie233 · 29/04/2018 14:17

Happy birthday darling xxxx

NeverHadANickname · 29/04/2018 14:21

Happy birthday!

I tend to find now that some people only wish people happy birthday on Facebook. I didn't bother with Facebook for a few years and barely heard from anyone. I recently set up a new Facebook account and those people I didn't hear from are not in this friends list.

I hope you have a nice day anyway Flowers

fuckingjournocunts · 29/04/2018 14:22

I sort my own birthday pressies as I'm always disappointed 😂 not anymore though!
Thank you dc for my trip to London & thank you dh for the spending money!! 😉

Mum2OneTeen · 29/04/2018 14:23

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOUSE & KATE!
BrewBrewCakeCakeFlowersFlowersGinGinWineWine

Flooffloof · 29/04/2018 14:29

Happy birthday quest.
I have a similar problem, my birthday falls on a bank holiday every Damn year and if people actually remember they are either hungover or away.
It's been that way my whole life.
So now I buy my own cake and whatever drink I feel like and just celebrate alone if necessary. Or with whoever turns up.
I did once organize a meal, predictably one person turned up. Despite 7 months advance notice backed up with reminders.

acatcalledjohn · 29/04/2018 14:33

Happy birthday mouse and kate!

Sending you both some virtual WineGinCake and a nice bunch of Thanks

Rainydaydog · 29/04/2018 14:36

Happy Birthday 🎂
My last birthday was a bit of a disappointment as it is very close to Christmas and got a bit lost, plus I don't like going out when it is very busy so we didn't really do anything. Partly my fault but I was still disappointed 😂 I think the thing is to award yourself a nice day of treats at some other time and make up for it. It would be nicer if people were thoughtful and arranged things for you buy the silver lining to doing it yourself is that you get just what you want.

Katedotness1963 · 29/04/2018 15:27

Thank you for the birthday wishes! I can now hear the sounds of the mixer and arguing coming from the kitchen. I'm pretty confident there's going to be cake!

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 29/04/2018 18:44

Has the cake shown up?

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 01/05/2018 00:38

There was cake! Full of whipped cream and strawberries. It was very good.

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