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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoying nursery thing

29 replies

nurseryage · 28/04/2018 08:09

The head teacher at DS's nursery remarked to me that DS (3 and a half) was "slowing everyone down" because he couldn't put his plimsolls on for gym. (They are brand new and hard to do. He does his shoes and wellies OK so shouldn't be long before he gets the hang.)

Gym is on Thursday mornings about 20 minutes after registration. I have noticed that over half the parents, mostly mums, dropping off their children change immediately into plimsolls when they arrive - that is, THEY put them on the children.

So I mentioned this and asked whether I should be changing DS's shoes at drop off. (We are new and didn't get the introduction to nursery that most people get so are learning the rules as we go along.)

I was told that ALL the children do it themselves! They don't, they really don't, some of the parents do it and the teachers/TAs are talking to them as they do it so they must have seen it!

So I spoke to another parent and they said "Oh she always says stuff like that. She told us that was the only one who still used a sippy cup, but I know four children that use them. We just ignore her!"

AIBU to think that all they have to do is ask "Can you work on changing shoes at home" rather than lying?!

OP posts:
ladyvimes · 28/04/2018 08:13

That’s not great. We have enough trouble getting reception changed for pe so I can imagine 3 and a half year olds will need lots of help. He definitely won’t be the only one having trouble! I’d call her out on it to be honest as she shouldn’t be exaggerating like that!

FrLukeDuke · 28/04/2018 08:14

She sounds odd. I'd probably just change them for him like the other parents

Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 08:18

Thanks both. I held back because I thought I was missing something. I'm a bit annoyed because DS heard her say it and is worried about it now.

OP posts:
Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 10:09

Another thing that is odd is that a TA has her son in the class and he sits on her knee a lot during lessons, sits next to her during lunch instead of with the other children and (obviously) calls her "mum" rather than "Mrs X" as the other children have to do.

Is this normal when a teacher's child is in a class?

I am a nursery novice so I have no idea.

OP posts:
honeyishrunkthekid · 28/04/2018 10:10

Did that actually happen.
Seriously.
The head teacher got involved?

pickledparsnip · 28/04/2018 10:11

He's three and a half! That's mental. Fucking hell.

Strongmummy · 28/04/2018 10:13

If you’re not happy with the nursery; change nurseries.

Wellthen · 28/04/2018 10:15

I’d just change him when we get there, like the others do, and then comment ‘ds is so much better at doing his shoes now isn’t he?!’ with a straight face Grin

In terms of the ta I think it’s tricky at such a young age. How do you tell a 3 year old that his mum isn’t his mum at nursery? And knee siting is inappropriate - I’d hope it’s offered to any child if they need a cuddle. Although he should be sitting with the other kids at lunch, for his own development.

If her care of all the other children is good then it’s not worth worrying about.

Wellthen · 28/04/2018 10:16

Isn’t appropriate sorry

Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 10:18

honeyishrunkthekid What do you mean "got involved"? The head teacher meets us at drop off and pick up at the door every day.

OP posts:
Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 10:19

I think we have made a mistake with the nursery actually. There are a few inconsistencies that I am uneasy with.

OP posts:
Coloursthatweremyjoy · 28/04/2018 10:34

Ah. Lacking in people skills I see.

Make a confused face and say that you thought the EYFS stipulated that children should be "dressing with help" between 30 and 50 months.

Ask if she would like to arrange a meeting to set specific targets for him if she is concerned. If she is as busy as I am the climb down will be spectacular.

Call her out. She's talking nonsense.

As for the staff members child I wouldn't worry as long as she cares for the others well.

Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 10:40

Thank you!

I'm feeling a lot better. Still think we'll look around for a more nurturing place though.

OP posts:
Bubblesandsquarks · 28/04/2018 10:48

DDs most recent reception (5 years old) report mentioned that she gets herself ready for pe without any help, which I assume means not all of them do for them to include that in the developmental report still.
I would expect most to be able to at that 3, but wouldn't expect them to always get the right foot without help or to be quick.

Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 11:00

Bubblesandsquarks Right!

OP posts:
user1487194234 · 28/04/2018 11:09

I would move him
It is essential you are 100% happy with nursery
If you are seeing things you don't like goodness knows what's happening when you are not there

Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 11:19

Yes, I think I will move him. I'm finding it a little bit of a bootcamp (for some) and I haven't got the personality to challenge them all the time.

OP posts:
TellyCushion · 28/04/2018 11:22

This is so not a big deal. Move on.

TellyCushion · 28/04/2018 11:23

Don't change nursery over something so insignificant. That would be jarring for your son. Calm down.

Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 11:27

Jarring?! I doubt it, he's had 10 hours there!

I have reservations so will move him.

OP posts:
GrimSqueaker · 28/04/2018 12:08

I get snarky comments from one TA about DD2's ability to get coats and shoes on still (toward the end of Reception). TA in question bloody well knows that DD2 has valid developmental reasons why she struggles to do this but still makes the comments from time to time. In situations like that I do pull up on it as that's not on and it's the sort of thing that's going to chip away at self-esteem over the years.

If they're those elastic topped plimsolls though they're a bugger to get on (I've snapped several fingernails helping kids get into them over the years) and getting the velcro fastening ones might help him a lot.

jamoncrumpets · 28/04/2018 12:25

Is it a school nursery? I had similar comments about my DS, also 3.5, who has some speech and development delay. Every other day I'd be pulled aside to ask if I was 'aware' of stuff he couldn't do, things that they felt he should be able to.

We moved to a different town after a term (nothing to do with the nursery, it was a long planned move!) and this time I put him in a children's centre daycare setting - completely different story. They're v aware of his additional needs but they accommodate him beautifully. They expect much less of him, which I'm v pleased about - he's only three! He gets to play all day and nobody berates me about his wet nappies every day!

SunnyCoco · 28/04/2018 12:26

OP regarding the TA who has her child there

At my kids nursery, teachers aren’t allowed to work in the same room as their kids. Mines a private nursery tho and yours sounds like a school one so maybe different rules? That would annoy me too

QueenArseClangers · 28/04/2018 12:36

TellyCushion has been making some contrary/damn weird comments on a few threads OP

Original poster
nurseryage · 28/04/2018 12:58

SunnyCoCo No private, attached to a private school.

OP posts:
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