To think you can't just leave your OH at the drop of a hat

10 replies

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 27/04/2018 16:08

Just got to thinking from another thread. There's quite a few threads around with people unhappy in their marriages for whatever reason, thinking about affairs and what-have-you. The overwhelming consensus is "Leave so that both you and your OH can then be happy separately."

But how does this work? If you have small DC, who is the one who leaves? If a custody case ever came up, then the person who leaves automatically has a black mark against them. And who has the financial stability to just go and rent a flat - we're talking deposit, rent up front, bills, connection costs etc.

I'm genuinely bewildered at the number of people who think it's ok to say "just leave" without thinking of the bigger picture and the logistics of the whole thing.

OP posts:

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 27/04/2018 16:11

I'm sure people don't mean that very day.

Leaving someone is the end goal. Of course you shouldn't stay together if you are miserable.

Are you suggesting that you should stay in an unhappy partnership so as not to cause any inconvenience.

Tamingoftheglue · 27/04/2018 16:13

People don't mean leave the house. They mean make a plan to go. Tell the other party that it's not working and call it the end.

helpconfused · 27/04/2018 16:14

I didn't leave. I thought about it a lot but thought I had no savings/nowhere to go...so I stayed for longer than I should have.
When it finally kicked off he was removed from the situation. I work, I have a roof over my head, luckily. Struggling for money but its a better more calm place for my DS to live in.

TheNoseyProject · 27/04/2018 16:15

You can split up but stay under the same roof.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/04/2018 16:15

I started divorcing DH1 when we lived in the same flat. 'Leave' is just shorthand for 'start separating'.

meadowposy · 27/04/2018 16:16

No you can't. Doesn't stop it being advised though!

Original poster

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 27/04/2018 16:21

Are you suggesting that you should stay in an unhappy partnership so as not to cause any inconvenience

Gosh no, absolutely not, just thinking about the logistics of it all. Massive upheaval for everyone, especially any DCs involved, so I guess I'm just hoping that people aren't just saying it lightly so that some easily-swayed person makes a decision to completely overturn their life because of a flyaway comment on the internet.

OP posts:

LovelySouffle · 27/04/2018 16:25

Depends how organised the ducks are.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/04/2018 16:27

some easily-swayed person makes a decision to completely overturn their life because of a flyaway comment on the internet

I tend to assume people aren't idiots as a starting point.

I would also counsel people to prepare for the worst. I've always had a fuck off fund even though I'm very happily married.

FlirtyRomanticToast · 27/04/2018 16:41

I tend to assume people aren't idiots as a starting point

You might be better off assuming they are

Flip