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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move house to get away from this monster

7 replies

MrsGjee · 27/04/2018 13:04

Recently reported my ex-stepdad for abusing me when I was a child (sexually, physically, emotionally). He lives in my area and knows where I live somehow. Obviously he now knows that I've reported him as he's been questioned, I see him around all the time and he's trying his best to intimidate me without doing anything that I can actually get him in trouble for eg - lurking around my house, driving very slowly and staring out of the window at me when I pass him and also getting his family to do the same. I've spoken to DP about moving he's extremely supportive but says he doesn't think we should move away from both of our families who are all within a 15 minute car journey. He said this may make things harder for me as I won't have anyone to talk to or take my mind off of things. However I don't feel safe taking my baby for a walk and I don't think that's anyway to live, I've had a really hard time with all this and it's caused me struggle with depression and anxiety so I think getting out and about would really help. Don't think he'd actually do anything to me due to the police investigation being ongoing but he does have a violent past so I can't be sure. So aibu to leave my family and the only area I know to get away from this man?

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 27/04/2018 13:06

Have you told the police what he is doing?

helpconfused · 27/04/2018 13:09

Report it, it's intimidation and harassment. Ideally better if you have proof/witnesses. If they charge him they should consider bail conditions.

In the meantime seek help from your GP. I have just been prescribed meds for anxiety x

Hope you are okay.

Clutterbugsmum · 27/04/2018 13:10

Have you informed the police about his behaviour now, they may be warn him to stop.

To answer your YANBU I would move away being more then 15 mins away family will be much better for your mental health then living in fear.

Do you own or rent, could you move say 15/20 mins past your family in the other direction. So 30 mins away from where you are now.

dingdongdigeridoo · 27/04/2018 13:11

Report every incident. Every time he drives past your house staring or is hanging around outside. The police will then have a record of him trying to intimidate you.

joystir59 · 27/04/2018 13:11

Report report report. Catch him on camera if you can. Try to be bold and stand up to him. He can't hurt you now.

MrsGjee · 27/04/2018 13:13

I've told the police and they've told him about lurking around the house and told me to call 101 if he does it again but the rest of it they said they can't do anything about. Thats a good idea @clutters stupidly hadn't even thought of that! Thanks for the advice everyone Flowers

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 27/04/2018 13:13

Yes report. Report. Report.

Do not let this scumbag get away with a single thing.

I would also video him too.

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