Im posting for some clarity because I'm not really thinking clearly ATM.
My 8 Yr old Ds had a problem in school he wanted help with so I said I would talk to his teacher. We really don't go in to school much but I felt that this issue did warrant a discussion.
I've been struggling recently with some mental health issues. I've lived with it since I was a teenager and on the whole manage it well myself however I do have occasional blips when things feel more difficult so I asked my DH to speak to the teacher instead.
Basically he made a massive deal of it and kept questioning me Infront of ds what I wanted to be achieved. In the end DS just said he didn't want his dad to get involved. I took DH aside to ask him to show support for Ds and then he turned it on me saying Ds isn't the problem but it's me that will have a go at him if I don't get the outcome I want. Honestly I just wanted to show support for ds but felt that dh should take responsibility occasionally especially as I'm feeling very low atm. I sorted in the end because it was less hassle to do it myself.
Its got me thinking. Every time I bring something I'm not happy about or we just have a random row about something dh always turns it round that it's me that the problem as in I'm too aggressive in my manner. I don't really swear much but if I'm upset I will show it and maybe raise my voice a bit but that's normal though isn't it?
Whatever the actually issue was we were initially discussing gets forgotten about and we end up arguing about how I'm getting at him and he's just defending him self because I'm so unreasonable. I honestly don't think I'm that bad 
I can be up and down but I have a professional job, my Ds isn't aware of my issues and on the whole I don't really discuss my feelings much with dh because he doesn't really offer much support. No hugs or anything. He just looks uncomfortable and blank. It usually ends up he says I'm having a go at him because he doesn't say the right thing.
Im starting to think he's taking me for a mug. It could be subconscious but its like he shuts me down and turns everything back to my faults. Sometimes I just need a hug and some support.
Has anyone else come across this or am I making too much of it! I don't discuss any of these issues with friends because I think he's a good man on the whole and It would be disloyal.