AIBU to think it is wrong to promote someone because you feel sorry for them?

[yourveryworstnightmare]

We have a woman at work whom I line manage and she has been hinting heavily about an upcoming promotion. I've known her for years and know her home life is challenging. She believes she deserves it because of seniority. The problem is if I'm being objective, and I have interviewed many candidates for the same role as her, she lacks the skills, agility to get the job done, and she is not a good team player either. She also gets angry quite easily to the point of almost getting herself fired. My boss is considering not to give her the promotion, but a part of me feels sad for her because she always says she is skint and needs the 5k increase. She is well paid at 50k+. I think she will leave if she doesnt get it, which doesnt affect the business if I'm being honest. I'm not sure how to break it to her that she is not getting it without her flying into a rage and she always says she needs money for her demanding DP and 3 DCs. My head knows for a fact she doesnt deserve it, maybe I'm just afraid of her reaction and the guilt knowing her home situation?

Any manager who promotes someone for the reasons given deserves to be fired. You do not appear to be in any way competent at your job.

I earn 17k a year. She’ll live.

When you have personal feeling it’s always hard, just stick to the facts and give her areas to improve. If she leaves then she leaves. You can be friendly but professional at the same time

Oh OP. You sealed the fate of this thread by mentioning a £50k plus salary.

As her line manage her perhaps you should have spoken about expectations before now, and offered training for those areas you consider her lacking? Anyway, you would be unreasonable to promote her because you feel sorry for her or are fearful of her response,

" I'm not sure how to break it to her that she is not getting it without her flying into a rage and she always says she needs money for her demanding DP and 3 DCs. My head knows for a fact she doesnt deserve it, maybe I'm just afraid of her reaction and the guilt knowing her home situation?"

You don't sound suited to your role at all. Afraid of employees? You need another job.

she lacks the skills, agility to get the job done, and she is not a good team player either. She also gets angry quite easily to the point of almost getting herself fired

Then why, as her line manager, have you not brought these issues up with her in her performance reviews?

Oh dear. If you're seriously contemplating giving her the promotion then I think you aren't that great at your job either.

She has been given feedback on her performance review. And has improved a little but not enough. She works very, very hard but just doesn't have the talent or personality. I am firm and fair with other team members. I'm not sure what is it about her that brings too much emotion in my decision making. She is not getting the role, I guess I just need help on how to handle an emotional person. Thanks for the feedback.

I manage an incredibly emotional person and it can be... challenging

I suggest looking at askamanager.org for some tips it’s a bit cheesy as it’s American but the advise is generally sound

OP you sound like a really caring person. As a caring person you really need to take into account, the detrimental effect giving her the position will have on the people she will be working with. It only takes one person to ruin what was once a nice place to work, into one that is a living hell.

Thanks trojanpony. I'll have a look.

And thanks Coralcolouredchrome, you are right.

I guess I just need help on how to handle an emotional person

Is it her response you need help with or yours?

firstly, I manage (not well, but I do manage) on half her current salary. Unless you live somewhere EXTREMELY expensive, she really can cope on the salary she's paid (and even if you do, and/or if she can't) then the salary is what the salary is; and she does the job knowing that. If she doesn't earn enough, it's up to her to earn more (with mangement's permission). Perhaps she needs a second job (like lots of people do)?

With regards to the premotion. I think you should give her an interview (along with other candidates) and THEN make your official decision. Be prepared to give her feedback should she not be successful as to why and what she can do to improve next time.

Hi KeepServingTheDrinks, I've talked to my manager and we have agreed to do exactly what you said. So she is going to be interviewed formally as other candidates do regardless of her seniority. We live in the cheaper part of the country, she just has a very high maintenance husband and DCs, or so she keeps saying. The way she goes on, you'd think she's on the bread line and it does annoy me. I know one of her DCs has SN, that's why I am a bit soft I suppose. But as my boss keeps reminding me, we are not a charity.

OP, I would be interested to know the outcome, and how it was dealt with. Could you come back, and let us all know?