To want OH to back me up?

[GoldilocksTheGraceless]

My OH and I were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend and hit it off 4 years ago. We're now engaged with a mortgage and enjoying our first pregnancy. So it feels like we have a lot to thank our friend!
Sadly, we visited this friend and his fiancée over Easter and he told me that I am 'living with a curse and I would be irresponsible by getting pregnant and passing on this curse'. He was referring to my mental health which is and has been stable for 10 years. Little did he know that we had just conceived.
Just to be clear, his tone was patronising and belittling, not joking at all and he failed to see why I would find that offensive.
I should say that this firmed is getting married in September and my OH is his Best Man...
This weekend is the friend's fiancee's birthday. I have said that I'd rather not go because I'm still hurt by his comments (which she supported him in), and I don't want to be spending my time with people who believe this about me and my future child.
However, OH still wants to go without me. I appreciate that they have been friends for years (they went to school together etc) but what has to happen for my OH to put me first?

OP, you're a better person than I am. I'm more of a "cut people from your life" in these types of situations.

If later on you decide that you don't want to attend the wedding, I wouldn't think that it would be unreasonable to say to them that you thought you could manage, but actually what he said means that it's going to be a struggle. I know it's not normally ok to cancel, but it's kind of their fault. He should have thought before saying that around you and his best man.

I wonder if he was projecting.... one of our ushers told my DH to not get married, 2 hours before I walked down the aisle. He said my DH couldnt be ready for that. 20+ years later, we are very happily married! Whereas usher has been divorced and is now in a weird on and off again relationship with a lovely woman he cant seem to commit to. So maybe its not you, its him, and what he may pass on to his kids........