To scratch my head over my daughter saying she doesn’t want to eat sweets each day....

[Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow]

My DD is 8 and sensible, lovely, thinks a lot...

She told me last night her friends offer her chocolate and sweets at school and she declines as she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to eat them every day. All well and good.

I am, however, terrified of eating disorders in teenage girls. No one in the family has had one and I haven’t.

I try to have balance (we went to the sweet shop after school yesterday). We eat well. I try to limit sugary snacks generally though so I guess she is picking up from this. Not at parties or meals out etc but I don’t have juice in the house.

I haven’t let her see I’m remotely bothered by her statement in case she thinks there is an issue either way.

Any tips? There is a big health drive now to eat less sugar in school which I hugely support and she is bright kid.

I just remember at the same age devouring chocolate offered by friends.

FWIW she eats well at home and has a good appetite.

Surely that's a good thing? If she has a balanced diet then all is well and good. It's nice she understands that they are a treat and not to be had all the time. I'd just let her know that it's her choice how much she has and that'll help her feel in control too and gives her choices 👍

She is probably picking it up more from the healthy eating drive at school. Not something to worry about. She took sweets from you, when you took her to the sweet shop, but clearly thinks carefully before taking them from her friends. It might also be that she doesn't want to take them from her friends without having something to give in return!

You're overthinking this. Most parents would be happy their kid had such self restraint.

way overthinking

What a bizarre post.

Child behaves well. Parent panics.

You’re totally overthinking.

I had eating disorders for a long time. It’s much much less about the food than people imagine. Focus on equipping her to recognise her feelings and emotions - it’s okay to be angry etc and to identify the difference between shame and guilt (shame- I am bad, guilt - what I did was bad)

Weird thread.

Do you scratch your head when she recites the times tables the school has also taught her?

Keep it about healthy eating, not about weight/appearance, and fine.

Seriously? You are worried your child is healthy and sensible?
None of my kids have every wanted to eat sweets often even before they knew that they were just sugar because they hurt their teeth and made their tummy sore, I'm glad because they are much less likely to get cavities, to get addcitied to sugar and end up with far more serious health conditions and overall more likely to be able to controll their diet and be healthy.
Eating healthy and limiting the amount of unhealthy foods you eat to a healthy level is not an eating disorder, I would actually argue that needing to eat sweets every day is much more closer to an eating disorder

Praise her for good judgment. Children do show good judgment sometimes. Don't overthink it.
My dd is pretty sensible about sweets too. If that changes, I'll talk to her.

She's a very sensible child. Praise her for taking active care of her teeth but don't mention weight.

I know what you mean about the niggling concern at the back of your mind. I, too, have a sensible 7 year old who would refuse sweets if offered every day, he also thinks about things a lot, and I choose my words carefully when subjects come up that he might over-think.

I think viques has a good angle. Speak about teeth, about general health, about variety, praise for being sensible, a little of everything etc.

I think OP is just worried because it's not the kind of thing an 8yo would come out with for no reason, and she's worried the reason is nascent issues around "fattening" food.

OP if it isn't coming from you (which I assume it isn't because otherwise you wouldn't be surprised) it must be coming from the school. Is she very "earnest"? She's probably just really taken a Healthy Eating Chat about not eating too many sweets very much to heart and is dedicated to Being Good. A bit like how children can be very vocal and evangelistic about the dangers of smoking! And then it all goes out the window when they turn 16

In fact, in a healthy eating talk at school there might have even been a section about Saying No, or not eating sweets when your friends are, or something, which she's acting out directly.

Great! It's good news. My DS (15) proudly told me he chooses the "healthy option" each lunchtime. I don't know why your posting this as a worry. She's saving her teeth from a sugar bath.

She is declining sweets and chocolate not food! She is making good choices really nothing to be concerned about. She is not linking it to weight but health. With my kids when I am talking about healthy choices, sweet treats only on weekend or special occasions I always talk up about being healthy growing well and how sweets etc rot your teeth I never bring weight into it and it doesn't sound like that is what your child is worried about. I think it shows fab willpower fair play to her.

Could it be that she just doesn't even like sweets that much?
DS (8) does this. He will often bring the sweets from a birthday celebration home and they can remain uneaten for weeks; I see the other children scoffing them the minute they get through the school gates. He's just meh about sweets in general. He likes them but has to be in the mood.

Our 3yr old daughter is like this - wolf's down fruit and veg like it's going out of fashion but give her chocolate or sweets and it's a 'Yuk'.

When she does have a sweet it's a kitkat or gingerbread man or even some Harbio which she likes.

As someone who has battled bulemia your daughter is just informed and making good choices for herself and I doubt that a disorder is there unless she is madly involved in social media and worships the Kardashians or something.

If you are worried start baking together with lots of sugar butter and chocolate and see if she will eat the products at the end

DD is 11 and will also decline chocolate and sweets quite often. She prefers fruit for pudding mostly. I'm pleased that she realises that these are not foods for every day and she does occasionally enjoy them. I can't see the problem here as long as it's linked to health rather than appearance. For my DD it's her teeth that she is concerned about and good for her, I say.

Not all kids like sweets.

I could have happily eaten myself to death on cheese platters as a child but never cared much for chocolates etc. and apparently broke down in tears at one stage because I couldn't have a pizza instead of a birthday cake for my party. Even as an adult, I completely lack a sweet tooth. Never had an ED or anything of the sort and have always had a slim but healthy figure.

As long as she eats normally, I see no reason to worry at all.

It shows how bad things have got when a parent is worried their child doesn't want to eat unhealthy stuff.
You should be proud of her not worrying about it.

As others have said, not everyone is that keen on sweet things.
My first child often demanded sweets. My second never did. I thought he might be missing out on treats once, and told him he could have anything (legal) that he wanted from the supermarket we were in. He asked for a whole fresh salmon!

My dd could (and still can) take or leave most sweet stuff and could go weeks without eating sweets or chocolate.
My DS was and still is the complete opposite and would happily eat sweets for every single meal from now to eternity.

She's a perfectly normal child.

My daughter has never had a sweet tooth. She rarely eats sweets or chocolates and never eats biscuits or cakes.
None of these things are necessary for a healthy diet, and some people live quite happily without the need for treats in the form of food. That doesn't indicate an eating disorder in any way at all, in fact I think people like that are quite lucky not to have that trigger. It's really great that your daughter is able to say 'no thanks' to food that she doesn't really need. In an ideal world we'd all be able to do that.