Work situation- aibu to be upset

[Quiddichcup]

Yesterday at work I called a sub contractor that i speak to maybe 30-40 times a day. I thought we got on well.
I asked for a time job to be changed to an urgent priority if they could and he said no. Not possible, why did it need to change. I didn't know this information so said I would find out and if it still needed to be moved forwards to immediate action, I would call back.

It did. So I called back.

I assume he must have thought I was on hold because i heard every word of his tirade against me. It was very aggressive.
The contract they have states that in this situation a job like I was asking, trumps everything else.
I did say I was sorry but it was the contract.

He then did not pick up the phone to me all day.

Aibu to be upset?

Tell his boss and tell your boss. It may be nothing ie he was just ranting and it's not personal. Or it may be he has a lack of respect for you. If it's the latter, it could impact on future working relationships.

I would have told him I could hear it at the time. Sympathised at the pressure the change was putting them under and reminded him it was contractual. You need to be firm and unflustered.

It sounds like this guy is frustrated with the changes being made to the contract. NOT your fault, and he should not have ranted to you, or about you behind your back.

I would call him this morning with a professional tone, and say that after hearing his comments yesterday you need to report to your managers that he is obviously unhappy with how work instructions are being given to him, and that this is putting you into a difficult situation. Ask him whether he would like to give you some official feedback as you overheard him yesterday but appreciate that may not be his considered view.

He then has the chance to apologise to you for the comments that you overheard (which hopefully he will do) and express his frustration in a more professional manner. You can then report that up the line and let them know that you are being made the middle man in a situation that is causing difficulties.

It may be that he actually says sorry, I was just having a really bad day and you caught me at a bad moment etc.

Isn't this situation just the 'real world'?

I like a good rant about the boss (only one person 'higher' than me, so not so bad) and I make sure she gets to hear it as well ha ha!

She also rants about me, then we go for breakfast/lunch/dinner.......

And then all is well with the world.

Some people really need to get over themselves.

Do you work in a traditionally male environment?

Thats probably how everyone speaks, but now 'those wimmen' are creeping in everyone has to especially nice to each other not hurt each others feelings?

He should not have ranted nor subsequently ignored your calls, can you complain to someone senior. However it would also be worth asking for a review of procedures and communication. From his pov it must be hard to deal with such regular interruptions and that would affect his productivity. Not your fault, so he has no right to take it out on you personally, but it probably causes frustration all round.

It's not your fault, it's his issue because he may be frustrated at the way the company works. There are many people who get contacted multiple times a day due to the demands of the role they have. You were the target because you are the one relaying information, it's a case of 'don't shoot the messenger'. I would let him know that you heard the conversation because he thought you were on hold, remind him that you are doing your job as instructed by higher up and leave it at that.

Speak to your manager and tell them what happened and that you have addressed it directly with the individual. Keep it professional, he was ranting and probably didn't mean what he said but the way the job is structured is not an excuse for being nasty about a colleague. Either way let your manager know.

Did you let him know you overheard his tirade?

What you need to say to him is: "I overheard what you said about me yesterday. I'm sorry you feel that way but this is a challenging project and we are all pulling together to get the job done."

I'm sure he'd be mortified if he knew you'd heard him.

A company working for me once accidentally copied me in on an email having a rant about us, their client. They were embarrassed & apologised & we all moved on.

These things happen in business sometimes.

I would have let him know I’d heard it too. That would have taken the wind out of his sails!!

...unless he knew right well that she could hear him 😂

Alternatively, he might have realised afterwards and was too embarrassed to answer the phone for the rest of the day. How did the work progress if you weren't able to communicate with him?

Personally, I think you should be able to deal with it directly with him, not report it to his manager or yours. Unless it escalates.

I wouldn't take it personally. He probably would have said the same things about anyone else who answered the phone.

I deal with difficult people on the phone constantly at work and I just switch off from it. They're not being personally vindictive against me, they are venting frustration at the situation they are in and the organisation in general. Personally I would have just said 'I heard every word of that by the way' and let him squirm.

I can see his point. It's not necessarily your fault that your managers are idiots (which they clearly are if they change their minds at such short notice and also demand their underlings harass the fuck out of contractors with a billion stupid pointless phone calls a day), but it's possibly a case of shooting the messenger.

What might improve the situation in future is to come up with a strategy, perhaps after talking to the contractor about how to do this, so you don't have such a situation again. Like, maybe your managers work out what they actually want and get their heads round the idea that constant nagging of contractors is very unproductive, as well as being miserably stressful for the minions like you, who have to nag busy people and deal with their annoyance at being nagged.

There are industries where you can't 'come up with a strategy so it doesn't happen again'. In property, time and staff demands are constantly shifting because of weather conditions, ground conditions, etc. It's the job. Being rigid would cost all companies involved. It can cause shouting. It can be stressful. But it is what it is.

"I'd make sure that I knew the criteria applied to the job I was trying to expedite before I made the call, tbh. "

It doesn't work like that in every workplace. Seem people are just given orders to make phone calls.

OP, I'm not surprised you feel hurt and upset. We spend a lot of time with work colleagues - either in person or by email or on the phone - and when you feel you get on well but then that's brought into question, it can make you feel pretty awful. He may have been frustrated or fed up at the change of plan, but when you're a contractor, you go with the flow - that's just how it is and he behaved incredibly unprofessionally. If you're the client and he's the contractor, he shouldn't be say no to you unless he can back it up with factual reasons why it can't be done.

Does he know you heard him? Did you tell him? If you still need to deal with him umpteen times a day, I'd just be very cool, very factual and very to the point. No small talk, no chat, just to the point to get whatever message it is across.

Perhaps he was just sick to death of being interrupted while he was trying to work. I rolled my eyes at work the other day, because I kept getting interrupted, I felt awful and apologised to the person on the receiving end, they made a joke of it, and we both ended up laughing.