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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put this on the invitations

55 replies

imeatingaburger · 25/04/2018 21:43

So I'm planning my dd's birthday party soon, where having it in a hall. It's the only hall in our area that is big enough for the party. However they have told us if we want a bouncer castle it has to be a certain heigh because of the ceilings.

So we have hired a lovely little bouncer castle with a ball pit and slide attached to it. It's only small in height as there only 3 years old so they don't need a massive one anyway.

Here's the tricky part, I was talking to my sil who has one child my dd's age and one child who is six. He is very boisterous and just your normal six year old.

I invited her to the birthday party but I said the older one can't go on the bouncey castle because it's only small and it will be full of two-three year olds.

I said I'd put on the invitation, that older brothers and sisters are more than welcome to come and eat the buffet, join in party games etc etc.
Just please understand the bouncey castle is restricted to 2-3 year olds due to the size and of course we don't want any accidents.

She laughed at me and said I'm ridiculous and this won't happen.

Am I being ridiculous to ask this?? I just don't want any children to be hurt or for them not to play on it because the older kids are on it!????

What would you think If you got this invitation. The party is three hours but with a bouncey castle, mascots, a buffet and people coming in doing dancing and games etc etc????

OP posts:
sothisisspring · 25/04/2018 22:23

Agree as well, 2 hours is standard. You will probably find them all overtired by 3 hours. The mix of really tired but hyper on sugar does not make for happy times...

MacaroniPenguin · 25/04/2018 22:25

I think when your child is 6 you might cringe a bit that you banned 6 year olds from the bouncy castle. I know they seem enormous now but they really are still quite young children and there are not many bouncy castles they're too big for really.

Is the bouncy castle you've hired actually only advertised as suitable for 3s and under, or are you making up the rule? If the latter, I think policing it case by case is better. If they behave, there's no problem. If they are trouble, it's someone else's turn now. It's absolutely fine not to extend the invitation to all older siblings, but it does seem a bit precious (sorry) and unnecessarily stressful all round to invite them but ban them from the bouncy castle.

Providing different activities for different age groups doesn't really work IME. Half the little ones want to do the big kids' stuff, and half the older ones will rediscover the toddler toys and you'll get angry that they're taking them away from the younger ones. Just don't invite siblings of friends. That leaves you with the odd older cousin who can muck in with the little ones.

SunwheretheFareyou · 25/04/2018 22:25

All the kids will head straight to the the bouncy castle. It will be hard to police.

CallingDannyBoy · 25/04/2018 22:26

Agree with pp three hours is too long normal time is 2 hours and you will be relieved when it ends.

MacaroniPenguin · 25/04/2018 22:27

And YY to 2 hr max. I like a 1.5 hour party at this age actually. 2 hours will be more than enough.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 25/04/2018 22:33

If invited you need to provide something for them or save the hassle and just state no siblings.

gamerchick · 25/04/2018 22:36

You need to ban older kids or hire another bouncy castle. If you can’t do that then don’t have one at all.

You won’t be able to keep 6 yr olds off it without lots of agro.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 25/04/2018 22:40

I think your party sounds fab, all your ideas and plans sound great, and I'm sure it'll go really well. Definately no BU at all by you.

The only thing I'd tweak a bit is saying older siblings are welcome. Because I think then you'll get more older siblings than you need. I'm not quite sure how you'll phrase it, because your idea of making it clear on the invite is a good one, but if you can drop the "older siblings are welcome" line, you might get fewer of them, and that would make your life easier still. AND you've covered yourself for the ones you do get, but you haven't explicitly invited them iyswim?

And yes, still set up a table for them (crafts or something)? And they can join in the games if you have any of those.

I hope the party goes well and your 3 yr old loves it!

neveradullmoment99 · 25/04/2018 22:42

Personally, I have not been to any parties that have invited siblings!
Just put the 3 year old on the invite and leave it at that. Don't organise things for older children. Its a party for your dd and her friends not a free for all. As for your SIL, the 6 year old could help set things out and be helpful. There are always balloons etc for entertainment. I would also be mindful of the time esp if you can only fit a few on at a time.

Flyingpompom · 25/04/2018 22:44

I think when you have very little children, you don't realise just how young 6 year olds are.
No matter how well behaved they are, they will be very disappointed not to be allowed on the most exciting thing at the party.
Also, did you say one of the 6 year olds is your child's cousin? This makes them a key guest, not an older sibling.

AmazingPostVoices · 25/04/2018 22:45

You would need two adults to police the bouncy castle to stop the older kids coming on.

They are a nightmare at parties anyway.

Easier not to invite the older siblings. It’s not expected or necessary.

Wdigin2this · 25/04/2018 23:04

If you think the over 3's won't go on the bouncy castle, no matter what anyone says or does....you're in for a rude awakening!

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/04/2018 23:14

I agree with not saying older siblings are welcome, you could end up with more older siblings there than official guests.

Just invite your DD's friends.

cindersrella · 26/04/2018 00:01

I get what you are saying but good luck with that one.. how do you stop 6 year olds from going on a bouncing castle with out them been upset.. I think this will be a loosing battle. All you will be doing is moaning at the older ones the whole way through telling them to get off it..

Send the invites and see how it goes. If you need to tell them to calm down tell them as and when?

imsooooocold · 02/05/2018 22:29

Sorted we're having 2 bouncy castles and the part is 2 and a half hours the last half an hour we will be cleaning and just for everyone to get their party bags does this sound okay??

Half an hour for everyone to settle in
An hour of games and dancing
Mascots come in
Half an hour of food
An hour of bouncy castle and party bags and singing

Fruitcorner123 · 03/05/2018 00:02

I agree with other posters dont welcome older siblings. Just invite the little ones. If any parents have childcare issues they can let you know. I've been to plenty of parties which mean ive had to find childcare for the not invited child. Quite often I pair up with another parent in the same boat and one of us takes the party children while the otherk looks after the not invited childre .

Motoko · 03/05/2018 01:54

Namechange fail OP.

I wouldn't invite older siblings. When did this expecting siblings to go to parties they haven't been invited to, start? It never happened when my kids were small.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2018 02:19

Telling 6 yos they’re not allowed on the bouncy castle is a recipe for disaster. 6 is really really little. Closer to babies than teenagers. If you’d have said 8/9 yos, that would be more realistic. You cannot know what kind of parent these people are. They may be very permissive and you’ll have a lot of Agro. But hey, lesson will be learnt.

AjasLipstick · 03/05/2018 03:00

I think it will result in tears. 6 is very small still and they will of course want to play.

What you should do is enforce a "big kids time"....let them have a go under supervision.

FrancisUnderwood · 03/05/2018 03:27

Bouncer castle needs Bouncers. That's all.

Shadow666 · 03/05/2018 04:09

I don’t think 6 is that small. I have a 4 yo and 6 yo. If I tell my 6 yo that that is for little ones then she’s fine about it. I really don’t see a problem with your invitations and think it’s very kind of you to welcome siblings.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/05/2018 04:13

Shadow
You have a girl. And she sounds pretty mature for her age if she’s able to get all that. My dd is also mature. At 6 she probably would have been ok if she had a younger sibling. My friends ds, definitely not.

Shadow666 · 03/05/2018 05:01

I hear what you are saying but I have less mature sons too. If we go to soft play, they can understand that the baby area is for babies only and no one tantrums. From the OP, the bouncy castle is pretty small and obviously for little ones. It sounds like there will be other fun things to do for the older ones.

AjasLipstick · 03/05/2018 05:45

Dragon has it there....some children at 6 will accept (if somewhat sadly) that they're not to go on the castle. Others will dedicate their time to trying anyway.

Not worth excluding little ones who are STILL little.

Cherrysherbet · 03/05/2018 06:19

I own a bouncy castle company, and get asked these kind of questions regularly. I always stress the importance of not mixing age groups, as this is when accidents can occur. In my experience, however, I think it is a little unreasonable to not allow some of the children on the bouncy castle. Everyone will definitely want to have a go! I would suggest that if the inflatable is age appropriate for the older ones, then allow them to take turns so that everyone Is happy. Hope you gave a good party.

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