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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to buy a kitten in these circumstances?

54 replies

RainyDaysSplash · 25/04/2018 16:18

I would like to adopt a kitten, I have found a lovely ragamuffin breeder who has kittens available at present. It's an indoor only breed.

I work from home but travel to my parents on a Friday evening, returning Sunday morning. This would mean the kitten/cat would either have to travel with me to my parents (they already have 2 cats), or be left in my house over the period of time. I do have a sister who lives nearby and is happy to pop in to feed the kitten/cat and give it company on the weekend whilst I am away.

This arrangement is not going to last forever as my parents are in the process of selling their property and will be moving, so I won't have to travel a distance or stay over.

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 25/04/2018 16:38

Yabu. Cats are sociable animals with their humans and s/he will miss you for that weekend. Parents' cats will hate the imposition of a kitten so that's not a runner. Just wait til you are more settled.

Also, buying a kitten is not adopting. Adopting is going to a local shelter to rehome. There are loads of kittens needing a good home in rescue.

Loonoon · 25/04/2018 16:42

I wouldn't just yet. Cats attach to places not people so it would be disruptive and unsettling to keep transporting it. And there's not much point in having a pet if you are going to leave it on its own for more than 75% of the week. I would wait until your parents move so you will be around more while it it is a kitten.

thecatsthecats · 25/04/2018 16:58

YABU.

Wait, for God's sake! You'll get a better cat out of it. You can tell the difference between a cat that was left to itself too much as a kitten with one who had lots of company.

My furry dopes were with an elderly couple who had to go into care before us, and you can tell they're used to constant company.

And while you're at it, please PLEASE consider adopting. Mine were 14 and are black - practically the kiss of death for adoption. They are the sweetest, most fun, engaging cats, and will cuddle all day. They just needed someone to give them a chance.

OnTheRise · 25/04/2018 17:21

Don't get a cat if you can't be there for it every day. Having someone in to feed it and then leaving it alone for 48 hours every week will mean you'll end up with a cat who isn't properly socialised, and who has anxiety problems.

If you decide not to leave it alone every weekend and instead drive your cat to and from your parents' house every weekend it won't feel secure or safe at home, and it will have anxiety problems.

In cats, anxiety leads to inappropriate toiletting. So either way you'll end up with a cat who pees on your bed, poops in the corners of your room, and will not be persuaded to behave any other way.

I know this because a friend of mine did exactly what you're suggesting with her new kitten. It is now five years old and her house stinks of cat pee because her cat pees on everything.

Also, the idea that some breeds are indoor-only cats is not right. Some breeders might tell you that, but no one has told the cats. Cats love to go outside. They can adjust to living indoors but they'll always look out of the windows and wish they were there.

Ellendegeneres · 25/04/2018 17:38

I’d wait- and I know what it’s like to have serious kitty broodiness.

I ended up adopting a wonderful kitten (she was six months though) and she’s a dream for us. I couldn’t leave her for more than a night, even with someone coming in to her- I feel like she’d be too lonely plus I have no cat flap and she likes mooching around for a bit in my garden. So she’d feel too hemmed in.

I couldn’t personally have a cat that I was unprepared to let go out either- I feel it’s unfair and against their natural instincts to be out and hunting (even for flies). But I realise that’s not what you were asking.
By the way I have two young ones and I didn’t adopt from a shelter, I went with a website that sounds like yumtree and didn’t pay a penny, the circumstances were genuine and I used what I’d have paid a shelter to have her properly spayed, vaccinated and microchipped

Fallofrain · 25/04/2018 18:45

Yabu.

Basically regularly leaving an adult cat for a weekend is not good, while there are automatic feeders etc that doesn't help with them being lonely. I literally just watched a cat behaviour programme where being left for weekends made an adult cat super agressive because he was basically bored stiff.

It's a bad idea for kitten because it won't help with the toilet training etc and your leaving your way open to destruction. Our kitten knocks over vases etc so I'd had to think what a whole weekend would look like. Kittens are playful and social they won't like being in a room for a weekend even if they are let out or someone comes to visit for an hour or so.

It would be okay as an absolute desperate one off but you shouldn't plan to leave them in that situation.

Equally taking it to your parents is pretty bad idea too. Cats will spray when terriotary threatened. This happens even if you were to leave the kitten in a separate room. It's a good way to create tension in a house hold and that is likely to come out in the existing cats fighting or peeing on everything for weeks.

Just wait a bit and you'll be glad you did. I know it feels like forever now but it will be so much better and easier in the long run

Onlyoldontheoutside · 25/04/2018 19:14

How are you going to manage indoor cats when you have children?Or are your children also indoors or only allowed out if they close the door behind them.You will not be able to leave windows open in summer.
Wait until your parents are settled then get rescue kittens and be with them a lot in the early days if you want them socialised properly.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 25/04/2018 19:35

Have you really researched these cats?A quick Google and I know that they are large, muscled cats that love climbing.
They are very aff ctionate so good around children but the need companionship so not a good cat for people who work all day.

Ankhesenamun · 25/04/2018 19:40

Why not take your time and get in touch with ragamuffin and related cat societies to ask about adult cats available for adoption?

UK RagaMuffin Cat Society on Facebook

ragamuffin.rescueme.org/uk

www.ragdoll-rescue.co.uk/

www.silkiestar-kittens.co.uk/page_1252025.html

And you can look up a list of local breeders and ask if they have any cats being retired.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 25/04/2018 19:44

My kitten recently had a weekend at my mums with her two adult cats and he had a great time!

Original poster
RainyDaysSplash · 25/04/2018 19:50

From everything I have read about the breed it states that these cats should not be let outdoors unsupervised:

Because they are very trusting animals they must be kept indoors only. There are far too many dangers for them beyond the front door.

I work from home Monday - Friday, only working away on a Saturday, hence driving to my parents as they are closer to my work location. I have managed to rearrange work so that I don't start so early, meaning I can now leave on Saturday morning rather than Friday evening. This makes more sense not only in regards to getting a kitten, but also rush hour traffic, spending more time with my children and not being in a mad rush after school on Friday etc.

What I intend to do is to leave the kitten Saturday morning and return Saturday Afternoon/Early Evening. At least until the cat is old enough to cope with overnight stay aways.

I also won't be confining the kitten to one room whilst I am out. It will need access to the kitchen for food, bathroom for toileting and will have free range of the hall ways and landings. Obviously I will make these as kitten proof as possible and provide toys etc. whilst I am away on Saturday.

I really don't see how that is any different (and in some cases a lot better as I will be around full time Monday - Friday) than someone working a 9-5 job all week...

Thanks everyone for your advice Smile

OP posts:
OnTheRise · 25/04/2018 21:01

From everything I have read about the breed it states that these cats should not be let outdoors unsupervised:

Because they are very trusting animals they must be kept indoors only. There are far too many dangers for them beyond the front door.

I've seen similar things said about Ragdoll cats, and about Balinese cats. I've had both. They've all gone outside very happily.

No breed of cat is an indoor-only cat.

Fallofrain · 25/04/2018 22:28

yabu to ask if you have already decided?

Doobigetta · 25/04/2018 22:38

I really don't think it's fair to keep a cat indoors. I was in the garden with mine the other day, and even though she was just sitting in the flowerbed watching things, her ears were twitching, she was looking round every time a leaf moved, sniffing at the air.... that's a level of stimulation they just don't get inside. And without it they get bored, stressed and miserable. It also wouldn't work to take a kitten to visit the home of other cats- they'd just feel threatened and beat it up. And it might be ok to leave an adult cat for a couple of days occasionally, but not a kitten, and not every week. You aren't in a position to look after a cat properly at the moment.

Sunshinedaze · 25/04/2018 22:41

I would take the kitten with you. My eldest cat travelled with us as a baby, staying in hotel rooms. As a result she is very good in the car and after a trip to the vet she sits in her carrier, getting vocal to go out again! Lol

Sunshinedaze · 25/04/2018 22:45

My cats are indoor cats and are afraid of being outside; they have no interest going outside as they have never known any different. My pets aren’t just pets to me, so I protect them the way I would a small child. I couldn’t think of anything worse than letting them roam the streets, worried when they will come back, if they are lost or injured. Also they are pedigrees, so I don’t want anyone stealing them.

Wolfiefan · 25/04/2018 22:46

Why on earth do you have to be away every weekend?
Don't get a kitten in that case. They need frequent feeding and socialising and maybe even extracting from the chimney. True story.
I couldn't get an indoor only cat unless it was an FIV or deaf case. In that instance I would cat proof the garden to let it enjoy some freedom.
Forget your desires and put the needs of a possible pet first.

Sunshinedaze · 25/04/2018 22:47

Btw, mine are anything but miserable. They are happy little buggers!

MyotherUsernameisaPun · 25/04/2018 22:49

If your situation is changing anyway I just don't understand why you wouldn't wait until you're actually in a position to give the cat the care and attention it needs? Why risk a situation where it's miserable and potentially in danger?

I'm not trying to be harsh but it really sounds like you're justifying what you would like rather than thinking about what is actually right and fair for a cat.

thegreylady · 25/04/2018 22:54

I have three very happy indoor cats. If we go away our next door neighbour feeds them and does the litter trays. She comes twice a day and plays with them for a while. We have two BSH and a Thai and the BSH breeders asked us to sign an agreement that they’d be indoor.

MollyWantsACracker · 25/04/2018 22:59

Your cats aren’t really cats sunshine if what you say is true. They’re creatures.

MollyWantsACracker · 25/04/2018 23:01

I’m sure they’re perfectly happy but they are creatures

honeyroar · 25/04/2018 23:03

I adopted two indoor cats, perfectly happy indoors, they were terrified of the outdoors when I let them out for the first time, I have a picture of them hanging off the door handle trying to get back in! But they soon learned. Nowadays they adore being outdoor cats, they spend very little time indoors and were livid during the bad snow that we wouldn't let them out.

Anyway, back to the OP, I don't think it's fair to leave young kittens (more especially one on its own) or a new rescue alone for more than a day. I'd wait until your parents have moved, if that means you don't have to travel every weekend. I'd also keep looking at rescues. "99% won't rehome with children" is not true, you just have to look a little harder or take more time looking (probably the same time you'd wait for a breeder to churn out more kittens)..

Onlyoldontheoutside · 25/04/2018 23:10

Most of the sites that say it's not an outdoor cat are American,they have more ndoir cats there and these cats will be ok indoors.But are you really going to screen your windows or keep them closed all year.Even if you work from home can you give them the attention they need.
The main reason I can find about them going outside is that they may be stollen.
Why are you so set on the breed,all kittens are lovable if socialised properly.

BlondeB83 · 25/04/2018 23:12

Wait and adopt one from a rescue. You don’t ‘adopt’ from a breeder.

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