WWYD

3 replies

Latenightthinking22 · 25/04/2018 05:08

Hi everyone,

So it's not an aibu, more of a wwyd in this tricky situation.

Okay, so nothing too serious, but DH and I are just a little stuck with regards to a family wedding coming up. We live half way across the world from home. My sister is getting married at Christmas this year. The wedding is at home. She also lives abroad, as does another sibling. So a Christmas wedding suits everyone who is travelling. I'm really excited to be going home for Christmas, so no problems there!

My issue is, DH's sister is moving over to us in a few months. It will be her first time living away from home, and she also has a mild physical disability. She can cope on her own 99% of the time, would just be worried if she was to have a fall or anything like that. She will be living with us. We are all very excited as we miss her so much :)

So my issue is, DH and I don't know what to do with regards to him coming home with me for the long travel (several plane journeys) /Christmas/ the wedding, or him staying with his sister as its her first Christmas away from home/ being totally by herself. No other family here abroad. We would be gone for 3 weeks.

Money is also a bit of an issue, as we are a bit strapped for cash at the moment, and flights are expensive. So there is that to consider too. SIL definitely wouldn't be able to afford to come home as well, so that's not an option. DH would love to go home too to see him family, but would feel so bad leaving his sister alone.

So wwyd? We could just about afford his flights home too, if that's what we choose. It's just another thing to consider on the pro/cons list ! We're really stuck on what to do, so would love to hear any opinions! DH come home with me, or stay with his sister?

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 25/04/2018 05:55

I don't think that she can be left on her own for Christmas.

If funds can't be raised for her to go with you, or to someone else, then he really should stay with her.

Life changes when you have caring responsibilities and this is the first event that you are experiencing, there will be others, unless she fits into Charity provision, makes friends who will help, or you have friends who would help etc.

Birdsgottafly · 25/04/2018 05:58

If that sounds harsh, it wasn't meant that way.

I've been a Carer, but with some family backup. it's still meant that I haven't done all that I would have liked to.

My mildly disabled Adult DD doesn't need much Care, as such, but I still have to make plans around her, sometimes.

PurpleSea · 25/04/2018 06:08

Will she move out there to start a new life or to be cared for by your DH?

Surely there will be other times when you will go on holiday, just you and DH, and she will need provisions made for her? Or will she accompany you everywhere from now on?

If it's just about the physical disability, it might be best for DH to stay behind or sort out some care. If it's about her spending her first Christmas alone, I wouldn't worry about leaving her. I moved abroad early 20s and spent my first two Christmases alone - it was just part and parcel of moving away.

What does your SIL say about all this?

Flip