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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be a bit bewildered why people get so cross about misspelt names?

16 replies

LightDrizzle · 24/04/2018 21:15

I understand it if it’s close friends, family or colleagues who you have repeatedly corrected, but some people seem to react really badly when it’s almost strangers.

I have a name with two traditional spellings and a few more “unique” spellings. Mine is one of the traditional spellings but people often get my name wrong on cards and emails, even good friends. When this happens, I notice. That’s it. I assume it’s because they don’t usually have cause to write my name and no, they don’t remember how I wrote it on their Christmas card 11 months previously.

I do try and check the spelling of names myself when it’s my turn, but it can be tricky. At my previous job, I occasionally had email traffic with three Beckys, except they weren’t, they were Becky, Becki, and Beccy. I didn’t interact with them face to face, I was typing emails under pressure at break times (teacher) and unless I was replying to an email that they had (unusually) signed, I’d just guess. Usually, like me they just used their auto default college sign-off, which of course was Rebecca Surname, Job Title, Department Luckily for me none of the Beckys took umbrage that I know. I similarly struggled to remember Suzie and Susie, both Susanne.

If there is one thing the Internet has taught us, it’s that people can’t spell for shite, so why do people take it so personally or get so very cross? Susie, a very nice woman, used to virtually foam at the mouth when she (quite often) got correspondence with the incorrect spelling, always on the basis that “He’s worked with me for 3 years and he doesn’t even know my fucking name,” - Well he does know your name but he never normally has to write it and rarely reads it, particularly the shortened version you use. I know people see it as disrespect but surely it is only disrespect in a tiny minority of cases?

Am I the only Rebecca/ Rebekah, Jane/Jayne, Lindsay/Lyndsay, Tania/ Tanya, Isabelle/Isobel that doesn’t get aerated by this?

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 24/04/2018 21:25

I think of myself by my name, spelt in the way that it is, It doesn't feel like my name if you stick an extra letter in it, and so it doesn't feel like me. Just feels a bit strange, like reading someone else's post.

But if they're responding to a message from me which I have signed with my own name, it feels as if they're saying "you are so far beneath my notice that I can't be bothered to use your name".

JamPasty · 24/04/2018 21:28

If you can't recall how to spell their name, why would you use it in the email at all?

Fruitcorner123 · 24/04/2018 21:29

It doesn't bother me when its a random or a person i just chat to at work. It would bother me if it was a friend or relative. However I have the more common spelling of my name so people rarely get it wrong. If a good friend got it wrong I would probably correct them once and then beyond that I would be frustrated but in a kind of exasperated laughing at it way not a furious way.

Lethaldrizzle · 24/04/2018 21:29

Yes I agree couldn't give a rat's arse

Peachyking000 · 24/04/2018 21:30

Or mispronounciation for that matter. I remember a Blaithin being very annoyed I didn’t know how to pronounce her name the first time I saw it. Turns out it’s a v nice Irish girls name pronounced Blaw-heen but I’m pretty sure most people wouldn’t be familiar with it!

CatLadyToddlerMother · 24/04/2018 21:31

My daughters name is an uncommon spelling of a common name.

I try not to get annoyed when people spell it wrong as it was ExHs choice of name, the idiot didn't think it through! and do politely correct people.

50shadesofgreyismylaundry · 24/04/2018 21:34

My name is a bit tricky. I couldn't give less of a shit if people can't spell it. I'm totally with you OP. I don't get narky about it. I'm sure I've make inadvertent mistakes, especially on Christmas cards with the names of people's children, half of whom I've not even met.

NewYearNewMe18 · 24/04/2018 21:40

I only get irritated if I've signed an email and the reply is misspelt. It's not difficult to check, and it's a courtesy to get someones name correct.

Glumglowworm · 24/04/2018 21:40

If someone can see you name in your email then there’s no excuse for getting it wrong

If your email is Rebecca and you’re known as Becky, well if I don’t know how you spell Becky I’ll probably just avoid using it at all, especially if I knew you got offended.

I know someone at work who gets cross when people spell her name wrong (two popular spellings) but to be fair our work emails are our names so they have it right in front of them and still get it wrong.

My name has a couple of accepted spellings but I rarely find it misspelled. It’s quite unusual in either spelling, most people wouldn’t know another one besides me, so don’t have multiple spellings in their mind. Whereas I know tons of Isabel/Isabelle/izabel/Isobel/Isabella so have to try and remember which spelling the particular person in front of me uses.

Bambamber · 24/04/2018 21:40

I get annoyed as i have a very plain, straightforward name. It has 2 spellings and isn't trendy enough for a new trendy spelling to be made. But people don't spell it either way it can be spelled (which wouldn't bother me), they often spell it in a way that makes it a different name. As an example, imagine your name was Ryan and people spelled and pronounces it as Rayn

tulip85 · 24/04/2018 21:45

I get annoyed because it's a welsh name and would be pronounced completely different in Welsh if it's spelt wrong.

Highpeak · 24/04/2018 21:48

DD has a name with 2 common spellings, doesn't bother me in the slightest if someone spells it wrong. It's nice when people ask which one though.

MulanRouge · 24/04/2018 21:49

Because it takes all of five seconds to double check the spelling Hmm

JingsMahBucket · 24/04/2018 21:50

I get annoyed because people are lazy as f*k about even trying to pronounce others’ names correctly. It’s not rocket science. If you’re not sure, just ask. Don’t change someone’s name from Caroline to Carol or Mohammed to Mo just because you can’t be f*king bothered. It’s rude, insensitive, and in some cases even racist.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 24/04/2018 21:52

It pisses me off when someone replies to an email and spells my name wrong. At least check my signature!

Dafspunk · 24/04/2018 21:56

98% of people get my name wrong, all the time - both spelling and pronunciation. I don’t care when this happens (if I did, I’d have died from stress by now) but I secretly lavish praise and love on anyone who gets it right.

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