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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not feel bad that this man got the sack?

44 replies

flubdub · 24/04/2018 16:36

Will try and be brief as possible.
I started a new job about 6 weeks ago in a restaurant.
The chef there was awful. He called you names (Told me to get my head out of my arse for forgetting a pot of gravy Confused), he threw stuff around in the kitchen, told a few members of staff that he needed to go for a fag before he stabbed one of us, shouting and swearing in the kitchen about customers, that could 100% hear him, sexual remarks to my boss - that kind of carry on.
My boss, is my sons, best friends, mum and I see her quite a bit.
I was at her house one day last week, and she asked how work went. I sarcastically said "X was on fine form today."
She asked why, and I told her some of the above. I wasn't 'telling tales' and only told her because she asked and the conversation went that way.

What I didnt know, was that X was on his final warning and had only worked for this business since August.
It was the final straw for my boss.
I went into work today and everybody is flustered because he's been sacked.
Nobody apart from me, knows why, and everybody is speculating. Nobody was really a big fan of his and everybody is wondering if it is their fault (It was mentioned to the other chef that it's because of something he said to one of us last week.)
Tbh, if I'd have known it would cost him his job, I wouldn't have said anything and I do feel guilty.
He started work in August '17, and had 3 months off, from Sept - Dec, so to get to your final warning in the few months that he was actually there, is quite a feat.
When my boss comes back off holiday, she will no doubt mention why he was sacked to other staff members, and I'm worried that everybody will be mad at me Sad and I'm trying to convince myself that I haven't done anything wrong.
Have I?

OP posts:
ALongHardWinter · 24/04/2018 17:27

If he was on a warning then there had obviously been a complaint about him prior to yours. If he was as vile as you've described,IMO he deserved to be sacked!

Sarahjconnor · 24/04/2018 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bootLegging · 24/04/2018 17:30

"Women are not responsible for mens behaviour but are socially conditioned to feel they are."

[roll eyes]

Crinkle77 · 24/04/2018 17:36

You did the right thing. No one should have to work under those conditions. He was already on a final warning anyway so has had plenty of opportunities to sort out his attitude. If he had no warning before getting sacked then I could understand you feeling bad but that's not the case so don't give it another thought.

ToadOfSadness · 24/04/2018 17:37

Fro what you say it could easily have been a customer complaint that caused the sacking.

ToadOfSadness · 24/04/2018 17:38

oops - lost my m

Juells · 24/04/2018 17:38

I have to admit that I'd laugh if someone said "he needs a fag before he stabs someone 😏 I might even say it myself.

CheesyWeez · 24/04/2018 17:41

I agree with Gnother Gnu and Sarahjconnor.
Not sure what the eye rolling is for?

All his own fault and the boss could explain why he was let go, due to several complaints from staff and/or customers.

Weezol · 24/04/2018 17:47

Does his name begin with S, and does he bang on about snowboarding by any chance.

flubdub · 24/04/2018 19:57

Afraid not @Weezol

OP posts:
FithColumnist · 24/04/2018 20:01

I'd guess that the other chef was stroppy not because his best mate had been fired, but rather because he'd now have to pick up the work that the fired chef used to do, personally.

LittlePaintBox · 24/04/2018 20:10

He got himself the sack. Why should you lie about his behaviour to your boss? She was obviously just waiting for the next thing he did wrong to get rid of him.

OTOH, it sounds like a bit of a toxic workplace, with a bullying problem.

Jamiefraserskilt · 24/04/2018 20:18

If anyone says anything and confronts you, just ask if he threw things, shouted, insulted customers, made inappropriate sexual comments, etc?
If the answer is yes, then say that is probably why he was sacked, then move on to other more important things. Just because your colleagues do not have the balls to call it out is not your issue. He had warnings before you mentioned it to your boss so someone else has.

flubdub · 25/04/2018 15:27

UPDATE:
Panic over. Apparently the chef yesterday was really thanking my co-worker, as he hated the other chef. It wasn't sarcastic and she wasn't being blamed.
Two other members of staff today commented that hey won't miss him, and that it will be nice to not have to walk on eggshells anymore.

I still feel pretty bad about it but it is nice to know that everybody is relieved that he has gone.

OP posts:
glasshalffull2018 · 25/04/2018 16:01

YANBU- he sounds like he needed to be fired and would have been fired anyways. I would speak to the boss who you spoke to and ask if she can not mention your name just in case anyone treats you badly for it. At the moment count yourself lucky that they don’t know and lets hope they don’t see this post!

Cornettoninja · 25/04/2018 16:20

Glad to hear it op Smile

Let's face it, if they'd all been gutted and treading on egg shells that doesn't bode well for a nice place to work anyway.

Mousefunky · 25/04/2018 16:41

He was a nasty piece of work and I’m amazed the staff aren’t jumping for joy tbh. The fact they would complain about this is beyond me... he sounds absolutely horrendous to work with.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 25/04/2018 16:41

You don't need to come clean. Reporting on bad behaviour is, and should remain, confidential and anonymous. They can all think what they like about where it came from but it will die down and they'll all move on to the next gossip.

FloorLamp · 27/04/2018 16:26

Sounds like you done them all a favour. You should be treated like a hero haha

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