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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sports day

70 replies

upsideup · 24/04/2018 14:50

Theres a thing on the schools facebook parent group about trying to ban sports day unless there are no winners or losers because 'its not fair on the children who arent good a sports'. And these are all the parents of children who are top of the class day in day out at school and who recieve awards constantly for their maths or spelling ability complaining that for just a few hours once a year their kid doesnt win everything and children like my DS get a chance to be good at something and have their talents recongnised.

He's 8, he sits there through awards assemberly every other friday and happily doesnt ever recieve any certificates for being best in class at anything or even making the best progress because he's not and he's making really slow progress. He deals with it, realises hes good at other things and says well done to his friends that do win. Sports day is his thing, hes incredibly sporty and normally wins a quite a few events because he is best at them, its not unfair that he works really hard to be good a these things.

I am so angry for him. AIBU?

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 25/04/2018 20:33

Choose the sports carefully and don't insist on every child taking part. Older children not taking part could present the certificates to the younger children, for example.

Stompythedinosaur · 25/04/2018 20:37

I'm ok with Sports Day, but I do think that the focus should be on trying your best and joining in rather than winning. I don't mean that there shouldn't be competition at all, but that it shouldn't be the be all and end all to win.

I disagree with the assertion that academically able children are regularly celebrated for the achievement, though. My able kids never get recognised in any way, the "reader/writer/star of the week" things always go to kids who struggle to behave to encourage their effort. I'm not saying this is wrong, just that academic and unsporty kids tend to get missed out on all fronts, which may be what motivates the parents who feel Sports Day is unfair.

RoseAndRose · 25/04/2018 20:38

Being in the mass if a sports day, and not winning (i.e. Being in the majority) is far less humiliating than being bottom of the class in academic subjects. Parents think their presence somehow makes it worse. It doesn't, it dilutes it.

Summerlovin24 · 26/04/2018 01:26

Keep sports day. I learnt at school that everyone has different skills. Week after week arty kids were praised, likewise with musicians. Others did well at sportsday. Life is tough. You cant be good at everything and the sooner you learn that the better. Also, sometimes even when you try really hard you still aren't the best. Its tough to get to the top but you can still take pleasure in trying to get there and thats why sportsday is good.

FrustratedTeddyLamp · 26/04/2018 01:44

My school in the later years changed to activities week. It had sports activities but also trips to different places, cooking other cultures cuisines, sexual health talks, educational and other well being talks, team building etc. I felt it was the right approach. We had winners and losers at sports day but it wasn't considered that big of a deal and it was a majorly competitive school. I think partly because of the other activities for everyone

FrustratedTeddyLamp · 26/04/2018 01:50

And I was an unsporty kid i was TERRIBLE! Fat and slow and bullied , Beep tests pain in the arse but I'll never forget being in the relay race and finished the race as the 4th person and we won and my classmates celebrated with me

BradleyPooper · 26/04/2018 02:05

Sports days are good. Kids should learn how to win and lose with good grace, it's a life skill. I can't stand the UK attitude to everyone getting a certificate. I haven't come across this in Asia or the USA, where winners in sport are celebrated. It's so fake to give everyone a prize. Do all football teams win? Does everyone get a medal at the Olympics. FFS, this is where we create bad losers, kids that pout and sulk when they don't win a prize.

My dc1 hates sports day and is not sporty in the least. She didn't want to go to sports day this year but she went to cheer on people who are good at sport. It's important to learn how to support others, to rise them up and recognize that everyone has different skills and expertise.

coolwalking · 26/04/2018 02:06

YANBU Sports Day is a chance for everyone in the school to have a break from lessons and get outside.
In real life we all have to do things we don't want to do. Much better to say to non sporty kids 'do your best, have fun' than 'OK you suck so don't even try'
If its a certificate for 1st 2nd and 3rd then I don't see the problem. Most of the kids aren't going to get anything.
I can't imagine parents trying to ban sports day at our school. There would be uproar. Sports are just as important as maths and english.

bbpp · 26/04/2018 03:21

I loved sports day. I'm probably not the point of your post as I did well in lessons too, but when it came to sports there was a 'rivalry' between me and another girl. It pushed me to try hard and to cope with not doing as well as I hoped in a way that for ex. class tests didn't. That was an incredibly valuable experience for me that couldn't be recreated in a 'fairer' way. And as you said, for those who excel in sport but not necessarily in other areas it's a chance for them to feel proud and happy for what they have achieved.

I can see how it would be difficult for those who are neither academic nor athletic and those children have my sympathy. Though I'm sure they exceed in other, arguably more important areas such as being kind, charismatic or funny, or music, art, drama - which I hope is also recognised by their teachers. But on balance I think for the majority a competitive sports day is very valuable aspect of being at school.

Sports day is good. Teachers not acknowledging non-academic or athletic qualities and their value is bloomin awful. But a non-competitive sports day isn't the answer imo.

AjasLipstick · 26/04/2018 03:42

I have one academic child and one non-academic child who is sporty and arty.

I still think sports day stinks.

Why have an entire day celebrating and showing off sports skills when a large percentage of children are feeling humiliated by it?

We don't have bloody "Maths Day" or "Literacy Day" where children are expected to do spellings and sums in front of the parents!

I've always found it a weird thing to do to them.

AjasLipstick · 26/04/2018 03:43

People who keep saying "children need to learn to win and lose with grace" are missing the point.

it's the public show...the total public humiliation for the children who always come last.

madein1995 · 26/04/2018 04:10

I hated sports day, really loathed it. I wasn't a particularly 'gifted' child so wasn't used to getting awards (I'm going back 12 plus years though so no one really did). I wasn't great at sports either, I was bullied and team sports made it worse. From the age of about 10 I didn't go to school that day.

I like exercising now. It's about finding something you enjoy. I like going to gym classes, 1 to 1 sessions, love Boxing and swimming. If I were made to compete in an adults sports day I'd still loathe it

Celticlassie · 26/04/2018 04:37

We don't have 'maths day', etc, but there are report cards and presumably the chance to shine in maths class. Sport is competitive- and generally public. Look at the Olympics. As a pp said, as long as it's not a situation where all the kids win other than one or two, I think sports day is a good thing. I do think it should be a mix of 'proper' races and fun ones, and not too much onus should be placed on winning.

AjasLipstick · 26/04/2018 05:11

Celtic shining in class is not the same as shining in front of a large audience of parents is it? It's also not the same as failing in front of them.

My DC were at a school which "had no winners" but they did....everyone knew whose kid had won and whose had come limping round in last place. Most of all the kids.

coolwalking · 26/04/2018 05:22

Couldn't kids that aren't as good at sports be happy for the kids that win rather than making about them. Parents I know are only interested in their own kids but will always say well done to everyone who participates.

coolwalking · 26/04/2018 05:27

At my kids school the PE teacher divides the races based on who she knows will be faster etc. Then the races are more even and smaller. No one is left languishing behind and everyone can give it their best shot.

The kids all know but at least its not such a huge gap.

LML83 · 26/04/2018 06:09

I agree there should be prizes at sports day.

Our school puts the kids into teams across the school for the morning and they do lots of relay races (egg and spoon, skipping, sack race) within their class and these points are added to their team points in other classes. You can't tell who is winning or loosing and I think the teachers must just do what they can allocating points.

In the afternoon they do a running race which has a clear winner. Each class races (usually split into 3 or 4 groups) first 3 get into final and race again. Takes about 30-40 mins for whole school.

Suits everyone I think.

icepop9000 · 26/04/2018 06:12

No don't ban it.
Our school has a proper competitive sports day.
Ks1- all do a running race and a novelty race- egg and spoon for example
Ks2- do 2 races and 1 field event.
Every child gets house points. The top 3 get ribbons- Gold, silver and bronze. However, in PE lessons they have trials before so on the day the 6 fastest, then the next 6 etc down until the 6 slowest. Means Billy Whizz isn't running against the slowest.
I'd hate to see them banned and I was always last in races.
As for people saying it unfair on non sporty ones I told my DD who hates it should those who hate maths miss that?
As for academic subjects not being judged by patents I think they are..look at SATS scores.

TheOnlyAletheia · 26/04/2018 06:30

I loathe Sports Day. Some posters are missing the point - other subjects get marked/reported on but don’t have that aspect of forced public humiliation in them. Can you imagine a compulsory event with parents etc where children have to perform mental maths or spelling publicly?

coolwalking · 26/04/2018 06:59

It's all about how the school manages the event. No one wants children to be humiliated and there are ways of making sure everyone has fun. A teachers race always goes down welll!!

Also as a child I never remembered the kids who were last. I do remember the kids who didn't join in and made it all about them.

Adayindisney67 · 26/04/2018 07:05

I absolutely agree with you, my children aren't brillaint at maths english ect..
But sport is their passion and they do extra outside of school to nurture this...

I used to love sports day and every year I saw it as my chance to shine, I was the same academically.
How will sporting children learn to compete if they aren't taught it in school.
That's the whole point in putting them in fair groups. So everyone has a chance.

Jessica Ennis didn't get where she is today without competing and I'm sure children who excel on exams feel the same sense of accomplishment. Should we take that away from them? No instead we should teach our children what healthy competition is and teach them to support each others goals.
Sports day is once a year and the children who love this type of stuff should be able to show off their skills.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 26/04/2018 07:59

I don't think Sports day should be banned or that there aren't any competative elements.

What I dislike is when it is ALL competative AND when no effort is made to make it a proper competition. There should be heats over a few weeks so that the Sports day the competition actually means something. In general, most people know who is fastest.

Also what is with the comparison with the Olympics? Those that come last in the Olympics are still world class athletes and/or have the skills and determination to have come that far from adverse circumstances. At school you have the whole range of ability and physical development - it is farcicle to assume that a typical group of year 6 will have similar physical attributes. Too often there is almost no focus on students with disabilities in terms of getting them into suitable physical activities and so often spectating rather than participating is seen as inclusion.

Ideally it should be mostly inclusive with a range of activites - I like the idea of a Sports Week with off-site options. Also no-one should be made to watch if they don't want to. Still not sure how enforced spectating is supposed to help my fitness regime. I just took a book to read.

Northernparent68 · 26/04/2018 08:40

The problem with sports day is that the kids who do well are sporty kids who do sports outside of school, so schools are judging children on skills they have picked up outside of school. I think this distracts head teachers and governors from inspecting PE teachers. There are still too many stories of poor quality pe teaching, bullying, favouritism, and assuming knowledge.

MarthasGinYard · 26/04/2018 08:44

Love that dd school still does a good old traditional sports day.

Medals, podiums the lot.

nellieellie · 26/04/2018 08:53

Some kids are good at sports, some are good at maths, or science, or being a great friend, at being kind, at trying as hard as they can. Some are great at drama, at singing, at writing stories or being funny.
A good school will celebrate all of these skills and qualities, not seek to mask them in case others get upset.
I was always quite sporty, as was my husband. Between us we’ve produced two DCs who are PANTS at sport. Sports day is embarrassing. They are useless. There are races, and there are funny team events. The school encourages competition but the kids know that it’s not important that you win, just that you try your hardest. They are in “houses” and there will be several “heats” in each event so they can cheer on their peers and share in the victories of their “house” team mates. Emphasis is placed on team wins. I think it’s great, and I agree with the OP. Her child should have the chance to shine, and his classmates should be proud of him. THAT is what sports day should be about.