To work full time and once in a blue moon spend some money on myself????

[IdreamofClooney]

I am very upset about something one of the girls in the group of mums I meet up with said to me and I just wanted some objective feedback, so here goes......

On saturday a group of mums arranged to meet up - one of the other girls suggested a girly day of pampering and lunch. I am on a tight budget so thought "oh no can;t afford it" then she mentioned the name of a salon that I happened to have been given a voucher for for my birthday. So I said that I would love to have a facial.

Four of us went for facials (bliss) and then met the other two for lunch. One of the other girls kept going on about how she would much rather work part time and have quality time with her baby than work full time and go for facials!!!! One of the other girls pointed out that I didn;t have a choice I had to work full time but she just kept saying it again and again.

I am a single mum who works full time as I HAVE to work full time. I hardly spend anyting on myself and I surely deserved a treat? (the fact that I had a voucher anyway is kind of beside the point) I struggle financially but just get on with it but I am very upset by this comment.

am I unreasonable to be upset by this and should I say something to her?

she sounds jealous to me

You aren't being unreasonable by being hurt and she was being thoughtless by saying (keep) it if she knows your personal circumstances. It's really none of her business how you choose to live but in this instance, you don't get a choice so I can see why you're pissed off.

I feel hurt that she had no idea that clearly some of us have no choice.

Even if I did have the choice to work full time or not it is not up to someone else to judge my choice.

I just felt like she thought I was a horrible selfish person who neglected her child while she spent her time at work or having facials - ha and double ha

Working mothers will always have to suffer this from people who think they are perfectly entitled to judge others. Ignore her silly remarks and if she says it again, just say that life must be good in her ivory tower, the rest of us do what we do through necessity. Don't feel you have to justify yourself any further.

She sounds like a tactless numbskull. I think some lofty ignoring of this foolish fool is called for.

YANBU, she seems to be a little jelous, yes 'quality' time with a child is brill but you still get that even tho you work full time, as for us SAHM it can seem that you have no 'quality' time becuase they play up all the time.

try not to be upset by her comment anymore, you know you're doing what you need to do to have a happy family!

You certainly deserve some time to yourself, and it sounds like you get very little of it. Fully support your going for a facial, and sorry that your friend has spoilt some of your enjoyment of it with her thoughtless comments. She is probably trying to justify the decisions she has made by putting you down. Satisfy yourself that you do find time for some quality time for your kids (not all kids with SAHM's get this!). Then ignore mindless people who are so wrapped up in their own idyllic lives that they've lost any social skills they ever had.
Hope it's not too long til you find some time for yourself again!

She is quite a tactless person! I think that everyone should be allowed to make the choice of what's right for them.

Yes, I would love to have more time with DS but think that paying the mortgage is crucial therefore I work full time. I would never make a comment in reverse to a SAHM etc.

Will rise above it

Thanks for replies